World Leading Relationship Therapist: Why Your EGO is RUINING Your Relationship! | Esther Perel
Jay Shetty Podcast・2 minutes read
Esther Perel emphasizes acknowledging complexities in relationships and the importance of accountability. She explores deeper emotions in conflicts, encourages reflection on beliefs, and suggests using curiosity and playfulness to deepen connections.
Insights
- Acknowledging inherent complexities and contradictions in relationships is crucial when deciding to stay or leave, as every choice involves some form of loss and grief.
- Personal change and accountability play a significant role in relationship dynamics, highlighting the importance of looking beyond surface behaviors to understand underlying emotions and fears.
- Curiosity, reflection on personal experiences, and the shift from personal importance to mutual interdependence are key elements in transforming conflicts into connections in relationships.
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Recent questions
How does Esther Perel view the decision to stay or leave a relationship?
Esther Perel emphasizes that the decision to stay or leave a relationship should involve acknowledging inherent contradictions and complexities. She believes that every choice in a relationship involves some form of loss and grief, regardless of the decision made. Perel encourages individuals to reflect deeply on their feelings and motivations when considering the future of their relationships, highlighting the importance of understanding the complexities involved in such decisions.
What does Esther Perel suggest about accountability in relationships?
Esther Perel stresses the importance of accountability in relationships, suggesting that personal change can influence the dynamics with a partner. She believes that taking responsibility for one's actions and behaviors is crucial in fostering healthy and meaningful connections. Perel encourages individuals to look beyond surface behaviors in conflicts and delve into the underlying emotions and fears driving them, emphasizing the transformative power of personal accountability in relationships.
How does Esther Perel address the concept of power struggles in relationships?
Esther Perel challenges the notion of power struggles in relationships, suggesting that they are often rooted in deeper fears of abandonment or suffocation. She explores the underlying issues of power, trust, and value that often fuel conflicts in relationships, urging individuals to reflect on the origins of their beliefs and behaviors. Perel emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying emotions driving conflicts and encourages individuals to move beyond power dynamics to foster deeper connections with their partners.
What does Esther Perel recommend for rebuilding trust in relationships?
Esther Perel highlights the importance of acknowledging hurt and remorse in rebuilding trust in relationships, whether intimate or friendly. She suggests that taking responsibility and valuing the relationship by being proactive in communication is essential in the process of rebuilding trust. Perel emphasizes the stages of remorse, becoming a protector, and exploring the meaning of the crisis as crucial steps in rebuilding trust and fostering a new vision for the relationship.
How does Esther Perel view the impact of modern dating on relationships?
Esther Perel reflects on the challenges of modern dating, emphasizing the need to focus on genuine connections and humane interactions rather than checklist-based approaches. She cautions against seeking perfection in a partner and warns against the false certainty of expecting immediate intense emotions in relationships. Perel encourages individuals to embrace curiosity and desire for more in relationships, highlighting the importance of evolving connections that grow over time through interactions and shared experiences.
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