The 5 ways a narcissist make you FEEL BAD about yourself
DoctorRamani・44 minutes read
Narcissists exploit fear of mistakes in relationships, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and constant tension. Survivors of narcissistic abuse can combat self-devaluation through therapy, positive self-reflection, and seeking validation.
Insights
- Narcissists in relationships create an environment where individuals are constantly fearful of making mistakes, leading to self-censorship, anxiety, and a sense of walking on eggshells.
- Survivors of narcissistic abuse often internalize feelings of inadequacy, leading to self-devaluation that can impact various aspects of their lives, requiring strategies like therapy, positive self-reflection, and validation to combat these effects.
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Recent questions
How do narcissists maintain power in relationships?
Narcissists maintain power in relationships by exploiting the fear of making mistakes. They create an environment where individuals feel they are not allowed to make mistakes, leading to a constant sense of walking on eggshells. Any passing comment about dissatisfaction can trigger a shame-filled, rage-filled response from the narcissistic partner. Mistakes in a narcissistic relationship result in gas-lighting, word salad, and critical tirades from the narcissistic partner, causing individuals to self-censor and live in constant fear of judgment.
What are the effects of self-devaluation in narcissistic abuse?
Self-devaluation in narcissistic abuse can have long-term mental and physiological effects on individuals. It can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, perfectionism, and constant tension. Survivors of narcissistic abuse often develop perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive patterns to avoid making mistakes. Self-devaluation can impact how one presents themselves, affecting relationships and opportunities. It can also influence partner selection, education, job choices, and aspirations due to its lasting effects.
How can individuals combat self-devaluation from narcissistic abuse?
Individuals can combat self-devaluation from narcissistic abuse by reflecting on their positive qualities, correcting self-devaluation patterns, and seeking validation from supportive individuals. Strategies to combat self-devaluation include therapy, spending time with supportive individuals, and engaging in enjoyable activities. By shifting self-perception positively and focusing on self-care, individuals can work towards overcoming the effects of narcissistic abuse.
What are common behaviors exhibited by narcissists in relationships?
In relationships, narcissists exhibit behaviors such as contempt, gaslighting, manipulation, devaluation, and invalidation. They have tunnel vision, only seeing what is relevant to them, and react with rage to inconveniences. Narcissists compare individuals to others, creating a sense of inferiority and inadequacy. They may also show contempt for interests, preferences, and individuals, instilling feelings of stupidity and inadequacy in their partners.
How can individuals survive a narcissistic relationship?
Surviving a narcissistic relationship requires individuals to maintain their reality and not engage in futile attempts to convince the narcissistic partner otherwise. It is essential to focus on self-reflection, seek professional help if needed, and surround oneself with supportive individuals. By assessing their ability to empathize, respect others, regulate emotions, follow rules, and consider the impact of their actions on others, individuals can navigate the challenges of a narcissistic relationship and work towards healing and recovery.
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Summary
00:00
"Narcissists exploit fear, maintain dominance in relationships"
- Narcissists exploit the fear of making mistakes in relationships to maintain dominance and power.
- In narcissistic relationships, individuals feel they are never allowed to make mistakes, leading to a sense of walking on eggshells.
- A passing comment about dissatisfaction can trigger a shame-filled, rage-filled response from the narcissistic partner.
- Mistakes in a narcissistic relationship result in gas-lighting, word salad, and critical tirades from the narcissistic partner.
- The narcissistic partner judges harshly based on one mistake, leading to self-censorship and a life filled with eggshells.
- Children in narcissistic families live in fear of making mistakes due to disproportionate rage and swift punishment.
- Survivors of narcissistic abuse often develop perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive patterns to avoid mistakes.
- Narcissistic individuals have tunnel vision, only seeing what is relevant to them and reacting with rage to inconveniences.
- The fear of making mistakes in a narcissistic relationship leads to anxiety, self-doubt, perfectionism, and constant tension.
- Narcissists leave individuals feeling small through comparison, humiliation, mockery, and contempt, fostering a toxic dynamic.
17:01
Effects of Narcissistic Contempt in Relationships
- Contempt in narcissistic relationships can target various aspects of a person's life, including emotions, appearance, background, and interests.
- Contempt leads to dehumanization and a feeling of insignificance, especially when experienced from narcissistic parents or partners.
- Betrayal, particularly through cheating, in intimate relationships communicates a lack of worthiness and leaves individuals feeling small and inadequate.
- Mistreatment and humiliation in front of others by narcissistic individuals can lead to feelings of degradation and shrinking.
- Narcissists aim to dominate by shrinking others, projecting their own insecurities onto them.
- Gaslighting in narcissistic relationships causes confusion and self-doubt, leading to feelings of inadequacy and mental instability.
- Narcissists compare individuals to others, creating a sense of inferiority and inadequacy.
- Narcissists show contempt for interests, preferences, and individuals, instilling feelings of stupidity and inadequacy.
- Narcissists may cheat due to validation-seeking behavior, contributing to feelings of not being enough in the relationship.
- Narcissists project their own sense of inadequacy onto others, leading to a cycle of feeling not enough in their presence.
35:18
Effects of Narcissistic Abuse on Self-Valuation
- Self-devaluation from narcissistic abuse can lead to long-term mental and physiological effects, impacting self-care and choices.
- Self-devaluation can influence partner selection, education, job choices, and aspirations due to long-term effects.
- Narcissistic abuse includes gaslighting, manipulation, contempt, devaluation, and invalidation, affecting self-talk and cognitive dissonance.
- To address self-devaluation, one must either stop listening to the narcissist or shift self-perception positively.
- Self-devaluation can impact how one presents themselves, affecting relationships and opportunities.
- Self-devaluation can be exacerbated by a narcissistic family background, making it challenging to break the habit.
- Narcissists exploit self-devaluation in victims to maintain dominance and control in relationships.
- Strategies to combat self-devaluation include therapy, spending time with supportive individuals, and engaging in enjoyable activities.
- Reflecting on positive qualities, correcting self-devaluation patterns, and receiving validation can help combat the effects of narcissistic abuse.
- Survivors of narcissistic abuse may question if they are narcissistic due to gaslighting and indoctrination, leading to self-blame and confusion.
51:54
Navigating Narcissistic Relationships: Guilt, Empathy, Survival
- Many religious teachings emphasize honoring parents and significant figures in our lives, often leading individuals to feel guilty for thinking negatively about them, especially in cases of narcissistic abuse.
- Individuals who question if they are narcissists should assess their ability to empathize, respect others, regulate emotions, follow rules, and consider the impact of their actions on others before labeling themselves as such.
- Surviving a narcissistic relationship requires maintaining one's reality and not engaging in futile attempts to convince the narcissistic partner otherwise, focusing on self-reflection and seeking professional help if needed.
