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A Monk's Guide to Happiness - with Gelong Thubten

Action for Happiness・65 minutes read

The speaker discusses his journey with meditation, emphasizing the importance of compassion and acceptance towards oneself and others. Through meditation, he learned to approach inner turmoil with kindness, leading to happiness and inner peace while extending compassion outward to benefit interactions with others.

Insights

Meditation is not about clearing the mind but changing one's relationship with thoughts and emotions, becoming an observer, which can lead to inner peace and happiness.
Compassion-based meditation fosters self-acceptance, kindness, and intention to benefit oneself and others, impacting interactions positively and preventing compassion fatigue.

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Recent questions

What is the connection between meditation and happiness?
Meditation helps change one's relationship with thoughts and emotions, fostering inner peace and happiness by becoming an observer rather than trying to eliminate thoughts.
How can compassion-based meditation benefit individuals?
Compassion-based meditation focuses on fostering self-acceptance, kindness, and understanding towards oneself and others, leading to inner peace and positive interactions.
What are the key phases involved in meditation practice?
Meditation involves three phases: being with the breath, realizing when lost in thought, and returning to the breath, strengthening one's ability to be less controlled by distractions and emotions.
How can mindfulness be integrated into daily life?
Practicing micro moments of mindfulness throughout the day, like in traffic or queues, teaches acceptance and awareness, fostering happiness and inner peace in challenging situations.
What is the distinction between meditation and mindfulness?
While some differentiate between them, meditation and mindfulness techniques are essentially the same, focusing on managing thoughts and emotions through compassion and self-acceptance.

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Summary

00:00

Meditation Journey: Finding Happiness Within

The speaker introduces the topic of meditation and happiness, emphasizing the connection between the two.
He shares his personal journey with meditation, starting 26 years ago due to extreme stress and unhappiness.
After experiencing severe health issues, he turned to meditation and began reading books on the subject.
Encouraged by a friend, he joined a Buddhist monastery, initially planning to stay for a year.
The monastery was experimental, allowing young people to find their own way in meditation.
Initially unsure about meditation, he gradually received teachings and instructions, particularly from his teacher, Kong Rinpoche.
He decided to extend his stay as a monk, eventually taking vows for life, focusing on compassion and helping others.
He began teaching meditation classes in various settings, including prisons and hospitals, witnessing the benefits.
Following a 4-year retreat on a remote Scottish island, he experienced intense struggles with anxiety and depression.
Through guidance from his retreat master, he learned to approach his inner turmoil with compassion, leading to a transformative shift in his meditation practice towards finding happiness within.

17:16

Transformative Meditation: Acceptance, Compassion, Inner Peace

Many people meditate but struggle to feel good from it; the speaker learned to link meditation with acceptance and compassion.
Learning to meditate without pressure or expectations was transformative for the speaker.
Meditating during illness or unhappiness was a significant shift for the speaker.
Happiness is about being less tormented by thoughts and emotions, akin to inner peace.
Trying to clear the mind in meditation by eliminating thoughts is problematic.
Meditation is about changing one's relationship with thoughts and emotions, becoming an observer.
Meditation involves three phases: being with the breath, realizing when lost in thought, and returning to the breath.
Practicing these phases strengthens one's ability to be less controlled by distractions and emotions.
Compassion-based meditation focuses on changing the relationship with thoughts and emotions, fostering self-acceptance and kindness.
Compassion in meditation not only benefits internal peace but also radiates outward, impacting interactions with others positively.

35:09

"Compassion Meditation: Transforming Intentions into Action"

Begin with setting an intention for meditation, focusing on benefiting oneself and others.
Close the session by dedicating the practice to the benefit of oneself and others.
Research by Tania Singer shows that compassion-based meditation activates the brain's motor cortex, enhancing intentions.
Compassion meditation helps move from feeling to action, preventing compassion fatigue.
Empathy can lead to empathic distress, mirroring others' suffering and draining one's energy.
Compassion is a trainable skill that transforms into action, aiding in understanding and alleviating others' suffering.
Daily meditation builds the intention to benefit others and fosters gentle self-acceptance.
A seven-step meditation practice involves posture, establishing compassion, body awareness, and focusing on breathing.
Practicing micro moments of mindfulness throughout the day helps integrate meditation into daily life.
Mindful moments in discomfort, like waiting in traffic, teach acceptance and awareness, fostering happiness against odds.

57:23

"Building Strength Through Mindfulness and Meditation"

The text compares deepening one's mindfulness practice to lifting weights at the gym, emphasizing the need for resistance to build strength.
It highlights the concept of independent happiness, achievable through mindfulness, leading to inner peace even in challenging situations.
The speaker shares personal experiences of overcoming fear of public speaking by applying mindfulness techniques, transforming discomfort into relaxation.
Mindfulness exercises, like relaxing in queues or traffic, can extend to improving relationships by fostering forgiveness as a trainable skill.
Meditation is emphasized as a powerful tool in training forgiveness by loosening the mind's attachment to hurt, anger, and resentment.
The text delves into the distinction between meditation and mindfulness, noting that while some differentiate them, the techniques are essentially the same.
The discussion touches on the balance between non-striving in meditation sessions and maintaining goals and aspirations in life.
The speaker elaborates on the complexity of thoughts and emotions in meditation, viewing them as part of mental activity that can be managed through compassion.
The text explores the difference between feeling compassion towards oneself and feeling sorry for oneself, emphasizing the importance of understanding and addressing emotional states.
The speaker encourages practical application of mindfulness and meditation techniques to navigate complex emotional experiences and cultivate compassion towards oneself and others.

01:15:42

"Compassion, Vows, and Wisdom in Buddhism"

Compassion for oneself involves having a loving relationship with one's thoughts and emotions, showing kindness and acceptance towards the parts of the mind that cause pain.
To enter a monastery as a monk, one must wear robes and shave their head, following 253 vows for life.
Keeping these vows has given the speaker the freedom to serve others, as it aligns with their intense and obsessive personality, allowing them to focus on helping others.
Buddhism is viewed as a science of awareness, exploring consciousness and the mind, rather than a belief system or religion.
Compassion is not about forcing warm feelings towards oneself but rather about allowing negative aspects to exist without trying to fix them, leading to a deeper understanding and wisdom.
Fear of leaving problems unsolved can be addressed by learning to solve issues from a higher level of consciousness, stepping back and allowing wisdom to provide solutions.
Empathizing with others' anxiety and trauma can help understand their behavior and show love even when it is not expressed lovingly, fostering compassion and mindfulness.

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