3 habits that kill your confidence | Shadé Zahrai | TEDxMonashUniversity

TEDx Talks10 minutes read

Self-doubt is a learned behavior influenced by high standards, comparisons, and toxic dynamics, leading to mind pits like Failure to Launch, Treading Water, and Destination Obsession. To combat these patterns, individuals can shift their internal narrative, find meaning in commitments, and set boundaries to overcome self-doubt beliefs.

Insights

  • Self-doubt is a learned behavior influenced by various factors such as high standards, comparisons, shame, bullying, or toxic family dynamics, rather than being an innate trait.
  • Three common self-doubt mindsets, Failure to Launch, Treading Water, and Destination Obsession, can hinder confidence and potential expression, but can be overcome by changing internal narratives, finding meaning in commitments, and setting boundaries to shift focus from comparison to personal growth.

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Recent questions

  • How does self-doubt develop?

    It is learned through various influences like high standards, comparisons, shame, bullying, or toxic family dynamics as we grow up.

  • What are the three universal self-doubt mind pits?

    Failure to Launch, Treading Water, and Destination Obsession.

  • How can one overcome Failure to Launch?

    By shifting internal narrative, using empowering language, and taking immediate action to combat overthinking.

  • How can Treading Water be escaped?

    By finding meaning in commitments, reflecting on the bigger picture, and aligning actions with a clear purpose.

  • How can Destination Obsession be managed?

    By setting boundaries, scheduling purposeful breaks, and shifting the narrative from comparison to learning from others' journeys.

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Summary

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Overcoming self-doubt mind pits for success.

  • Self-doubt is not innate; it is learned as we grow up, influenced by various factors like high standards, comparisons, shame, bullying, or toxic family dynamics.
  • Patterns of thinking can lead to entrenched self-doubt beliefs that hinder confidence and potential expression.
  • Three universal self-doubt mind pits are identified: Failure to Launch, Treading Water, and Destination Obsession.
  • Failure to Launch involves endless preparation, overthinking, and procrastination due to fear of failure.
  • Treading Water is characterized by starting but not finishing tasks due to self-doubt, boredom, and lack of interest.
  • Destination Obsession leads to relentless goal-setting without fulfillment, comparing oneself to others, and feeling inadequate.
  • To overcome Failure to Launch, shift internal narrative, focus on empowering language, and take immediate action to combat overthinking.
  • Treading Water can be escaped by finding meaning in commitments, reflecting on the bigger picture, and aligning actions with a clear purpose.
  • Destination Obsession can be managed by setting boundaries, scheduling purposeful breaks, and shifting the narrative from comparison to learning from others' journeys.
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