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USE THIS TRICK To Turn Awkwardness Into CONFIDENCE | Vanessa Van Edwards

Lisa Bilyeu・58 minutes read

Lisa B Leah transitioned from a housewife to co-founding a billion-dollar company, Quest Nutrition, and is now the president of Impact Theory. The mission of the show "Women of Impact" is to empower women to become the heroes of their lives.

Insights

The show "Women of Impact" aims to empower women to take control of their lives and become the heroes of their own stories, focusing on mastering human behavior for success in various aspects of life.
Vanessa van Edwards, known for her work on human behavior, emphasizes the importance of understanding and decoding human behavior, impacting thousands globally and assisting Fortune 500 companies, while highlighting the effectiveness of an "offer mentality" in interactions.

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Recent questions

How did Lisa B Leah transition her career?
By co-founding a billion-dollar company and leading Impact Theory.
What is the mission of "Women of Impact" show?
To empower women to become heroes of their lives.
How can one enhance social interactions effectively?
By adopting an "offer mentality" and reframing anxiety positively.
What is the significance of authenticity in relationships?
Authenticity is valued over faking confidence or perfection.
How can one effectively set boundaries in relationships?
By learning to say no unapologetically and offering alternatives politely.

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Summary

00:00

Empower Women, Decode Behavior, Enhance Success

Lisa B Leah transitioned from a housewife to co-founding a billion-dollar company, Quest Nutrition, and is now the president of Impact Theory.
The mission of the show "Women of Impact" is to empower women to become the heroes of their lives.
In a ten-minute conversation, people are likely to be lied to two to three times, and 91% of individuals lie regularly at home and work.
The show delves into understanding human behavior, predicting and changing behavior, and mastering people skills for success in love, life, and business.
Vanessa van Edwards, the founder of the Science of People, focuses on human behavior research and teaching others to decode human behavior.
Vanessa's work has impacted over 300,000 students in 40 countries and 189 cities, with Fortune 500 companies seeking her consultation.
The best place to stand at an event is where people exit the drink line, providing social relief and initiating conversations effectively.
Adopting an "offer mentality" rather than an "ask mentality" can enhance interactions and relationships, fostering a more positive experience.
Refraining from faking confidence and instead reframing anxiety as excitement can lead to better performance and enjoyment in high-pressure situations.
Prioritizing self-care, setting goals, and priming oneself before events can enhance confidence and success in social interactions.

14:03

Embracing Vulnerability: Strength in Authenticity and Connection

The author initially planned to start her book with scientific data but was advised to begin with vulnerability.
She introduces herself as a "recovering awkward person" after hiding her awkwardness for years.
The author emphasizes viewing anxiety, awkwardness, or lack of confidence as potential strengths.
Sharing personal vulnerabilities, like awkwardness, can be more relatable and impactful than projecting perfection.
The author highlights the importance of authenticity over faking confidence or perfection.
Posting a vulnerable moment, like a surfing fail, garnered more positive responses than expected.
The "Swan theory" metaphor is used to illustrate the contrast between outward appearance and inner struggles.
Networking advice includes focusing on liking others rather than seeking approval, based on a study on popularity.
Approaching interactions with a mindset of being impressed by others can lead to more engaging conversations.
Researching and tapping into others' "hot buttons" or passion projects can enhance connections in various relationships.

28:05

"Parenting: Saying No, Setting Boundaries, Transitioning"

A friend's male baby is encouraged to be strong and fast, while a daughter is told to be gentle and cooperative.
The importance of learning to say no unapologetically is emphasized for both men and women.
Giving reasons when declining invites can lead to pushy behavior from others.
The recommendation is to say no without offering reasons to maintain boundaries effectively.
Offering an alternative when saying no can be a polite way to decline invitations.
It is advised to never agree to anything in person to make it easier to say no later.
The challenges and changes in life after having a baby are discussed.
The transition from high-level thinking to basic survival needs after having a baby is highlighted.
The emotional journey of mourning the old life while celebrating the new life as a parent is described.
The newfound highs and lows of parenting are compared to the previous life's narrow band of experiences.

42:04

"Motherhood, Attachment, Love: Finding Balance and Support"

The speaker reflects on how motherhood reshaped her values and perspective on life, leading her to reevaluate her priorities and expectations.
Initially, she struggled with self-judgment and the pressure to embody the idealized image of a perfect mother, influenced by societal portrayals on social media.
The speaker discusses attachment theory, highlighting the impact of childhood attachment styles on adult relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in parenting.
She shares personal experiences of being avoidant in attachment, finding it challenging to ask for help and form secure relationships, especially as a parent.
The speaker emphasizes the significance of self-assessment before parenthood to understand and address one's relationship patterns and projections onto children.
A book on love languages profoundly impacted the speaker's relationship with her husband, leading them to discover and cater to each other's preferred ways of expressing and receiving love.
The speaker advocates for sending well wishes that allow the recipient to fill in the emotional blank, providing support and understanding without imposing pressure or expectations.
By offering wishes that encompass various emotions, individuals can show support and care in times of need, ensuring the recipient feels loved and empowered regardless of their circumstances.
The speaker stresses the importance of not staying silent in times of grief or difficulty, as offering support, even if uncertain, can prevent feelings of abandonment and provide comfort to those in need.
Ultimately, the speaker encourages thoughtful communication and understanding in relationships, allowing for emotional support and connection without imposing expectations or pressure.

55:05

"Empower through positive emotions, connect authentically"

The speaker emphasizes the importance of conveying positive emotions to others, suggesting that giving permission for such emotions can be empowering, especially for those facing challenges. She directs people to find her online at scienceofpeople.com and mentions her book, "Captivate," available wherever books are sold. Additionally, she promotes an upcoming class on social skills for professionals, encouraging applications.
The speaker identifies her superpower as translating emotions, particularly negative ones like awkwardness and anxiety, into something useful and relatable. She aims to help people understand and leverage these emotions rather than hide them, fostering a sense of connection and empowerment. She passionately recommends her book for improving relationships and understanding others, urging viewers to subscribe and follow her on social media.

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