Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

Teal Swan16 minutes read

Women are attracted to men with masculine traits like leadership and protection, often feeling compelled to be with them even if they exhibit negative qualities. The desire for masculine traits stems from a biological need for protection and provision, leading to women seeking safety and containment in relationships.

Insights

  • Women are attracted to men with masculine traits such as leadership, protection, confidence, and charisma, seeking qualities that nice guys often lack, rather than specifically preferring "assholes."
  • Childhood experiences, especially with fathers, significantly influence women's subconscious definitions of love, impacting their attraction to familiar negative traits and potentially leading to relationships where women feel compelled to chase approval and validation, often from men exhibiting undesirable behaviors.

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Recent questions

  • What traits do women find attractive in men?

    Masculine traits like leadership, protection, creativity, strength, and charisma.

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Summary

00:00

"Women Desire Masculine Traits in Partners"

  • Women do not actually prefer assholes; they prefer men with masculine traits that nice guys often lack.
  • Masculine traits include leadership, protection, direction, creativity, strength, provision, good social skills, drive, charisma, confidence, high energy levels, and positive ownership.
  • Women feel forced to be with men possessing these traits, even if they exhibit undesirable characteristics.
  • Feminine attraction is rooted in biology, seeking protection, healthy offspring, and provision from a man.
  • Women feel exposed and alone without a masculine partner who can provide containment and protection.
  • Polarity flips in relationships, where men lack masculine traits, lead to women adopting masculine roles, causing stress and pain.
  • Women desire positive ownership from men, prioritizing their best interests and feeling safe and secure.
  • Containment, creating a safe space for a woman to be soft and receptive, is crucial in relationships.
  • Childhood experiences, especially with fathers, influence women's subconscious definitions of love, leading to attraction to familiar negative traits.
  • Women with low self-esteem may be drawn to aloof men, seeking validation and healing through relationships.

13:19

"Women chasing approval from 'assholes' over 'nice guys'"

  • Women who feel a desperate need to prove their worth often end up chasing men for approval and commitment, driven by a desire to feel good enough and special.
  • Some women are drawn to "assholes" in relationships due to low self-esteem, childhood wounds, or a codependent tendency where they take on a fixer role to avoid their own shame and feel good about themselves.
  • Women may perceive "nice guys" as manipulative and see niceness as a strategy to get what they want, leading some to prefer the perceived straightforwardness of "assholes" over the hidden intentions of nice guys.
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