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Why we love, why we cheat | Helen Fisher

TED・2 minutes read

Romantic love involves intense focus on a partner, characterized by dependence, possessiveness, and a motivation to be together. Women entering the job market is reshaping dynamics in sex, romance, and families, with a predicted trend towards symmetrical marriages emphasizing equality.

Insights

  • Romantic love is a complex phenomenon involving intense focus, emotional dependency, and a powerful motivation to be with one's partner, surpassing even the sex drive in potency.
  • The increasing presence of women in the workforce is reshaping societal norms around sex, romance, and family dynamics, with significant implications for the future of relationships and marriages.

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Recent questions

  • What are the key characteristics of romantic love?

    Romantic love involves intense focus on a partner, special meaning, mood swings, dependence, sexual possessiveness, and a strong desire to be emotionally close.

  • How do women impact the job market?

    Women are increasingly entering the job market, bringing strengths like verbal ability, people skills, negotiating skills, and imagination, reshaping dynamics in sex, romance, and families.

  • What is the predicted trend for marriages in the 21st century?

    The 21st century is expected to emphasize "symmetrical marriage," focusing on equality in partnerships and prioritizing being in love over other qualities.

  • How do brain systems influence love?

    Three brain systems evolved for mating and reproduction: sex drive, romantic love, and attachment, which can operate independently, allowing individuals to love multiple people simultaneously.

  • How do antidepressants impact relationships?

    Antidepressants can affect brain systems associated with love and attachment, potentially impacting relationships negatively by altering feelings of love and attachment.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

"Love, Work, and Gender Dynamics in 21st Century"

  • Research conducted on romantic love involved 32 individuals, with 17 in accepted relationships and 15 recently dumped.
  • Romantic love involves a person taking on special meaning, focusing intensely on their partner, and experiencing intense energy and mood swings.
  • Love is characterized by dependence, sexual possessiveness, intense craving to be with the person emotionally, and motivation to be with them.
  • Romantic love is not just an emotion but a powerful drive, more potent than the sex drive.
  • Three brain systems evolved from mating and reproduction: sex drive, romantic love, and attachment.
  • Women entering the workforce is a significant social trend, with 129 out of 130 societies showing women moving into the job market.
  • Women's verbal ability, people skills, negotiating skills, and imagination are highlighted as strengths they bring to the workforce.
  • Women's increasing presence in the job market is reshaping sex, romance, and family dynamics.
  • Female sexual expression is on the rise, with women starting sex sooner, having more partners, and leaving bad marriages for better ones.
  • The 21st century is predicted to be the era of "symmetrical marriage," emphasizing equality in partnerships.

14:36

Love Over Qualities: Changing Marriage Trends

  • 91% of American women and 86% of American men prioritize being in love with their partner over having every quality they desire in a marriage.
  • Arranged marriages are declining globally as people increasingly seek love in their marriages.
  • Marriages may become more stable due to women entering the job market and an aging world population.
  • Divorce rates are stable and declining in America, with older individuals less likely to divorce.
  • The brain systems of lust, romantic love, and attachment can operate independently, allowing individuals to love multiple people simultaneously.
  • Antidepressants can impact brain systems associated with love and attachment, potentially affecting relationships negatively.
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