What No One Tells You About Grief Healing with David Kessler
Commune・18 minutes read
Grief encompasses various types of losses and is unique to each individual, not to be compared with others; mourning is the external expression of grief. Society's pressure to hide grief can hinder the healing process, with the duration of grief varying for each person, highlighting the importance of allowing oneself to feel the pain for healing.
Insights
- Grief encompasses various losses beyond death, including relationships and jobs, and is unique to each person, discouraging comparisons with others' experiences.
- Society's pressure to hide grief and conform to specific timelines for mourning can hinder the healing process, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and accepting individualized grief experiences without judgment.
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Recent questions
What is grief?
Grief is the emotional response to the loss of something significant, not limited to death but also encompassing relationships, jobs, or other connections. It reflects the unique experience of losing a connection to people, places, or things, and can be categorized into big (macro) and small (micro) losses like death, divorce, job loss, or canceled events.
How does society view grief?
Society often pressures individuals to be strong and productive, leading to the concealment of grief. This societal expectation can cause individuals to doubt their grieving process and hide their emotions, hindering the healing and acceptance of their grief.
What are the stages of grief?
The stages of grief include anticipatory grief before a loss, the acute phase immediately after a loss, early grief lasting up to two years, and mature grief where love can surpass pain. Each stage represents a different aspect of the grieving process, guiding individuals towards healing and self-discovery.
Why is it important to acknowledge grief?
Acknowledging grief is essential for healing, as resisting the pain only prolongs the suffering. Allowing oneself to feel the emotions associated with grief, and seeking validation and support from others, can help individuals navigate through the grieving process towards acceptance and peace.
How does grief manifest externally?
While grief is an internal feeling, mourning is the external expression of grief. It is crucial to understand that everyone grieves differently, and the duration of grief varies for each person with no set timeline. The goal is to eventually grieve with more love than pain at one's own pace, honoring personal grief experiences and finding peace through understanding and acceptance.
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Summary
00:00
Understanding and Embracing the Complexity of Grief
- Grief is defined as the death of something significant, not just limited to the loss of a loved one but also relationships, jobs, or other connections.
- Grief reflects the loss of a connection, unique to each individual, and can be experienced over people, places, or things.
- Grief can be categorized into big (macro) and small (micro) losses, encompassing various types of losses like death, divorce, job loss, or canceled events.
- Comparing grief with others' losses is discouraged as each person's grief is unique and valid, regardless of the scale of the loss.
- Grief is an internal feeling, while mourning is the external expression of grief, and it's crucial to understand that everyone grieves differently.
- Society's pressure to be strong and productive has led to grief being hidden away, causing individuals to doubt their grieving process.
- The duration of grief varies for each person, with no set timeline, and the goal is to eventually grieve with more love than pain at one's own pace.
- Different stages of grief include anticipatory grief before a loss, the acute phase immediately after a loss, early grief lasting up to two years, and mature grief where love can surpass pain.
- It's normal to fear that grief will be overwhelming, but allowing oneself to feel the pain is essential for healing, as resisting grief only prolongs the suffering.
- Grief needs to be witnessed and acknowledged by others, mirroring the concept of mirroring neurons where individuals seek validation and support in their grief.
20:15
Navigating the River of Grief
- Grief is likened to a river that individuals may enter gradually or suddenly, guiding them towards healing and self-discovery without their loved ones.
- In the river of grief, small complications are represented by sticks that flow downstream easily, while significant complications, like large branches, create eddies, symbolizing stuck emotions that require examination and discussion for healing.
- Society's expectations regarding grief, such as time limits for mourning, may not align with the individual's unique grieving process, emphasizing the importance of honoring personal grief experiences and finding peace through understanding and acceptance.
