The TRUTH About ANXIETY And How To HEAL IT! | The Mel Robbins Podcast
Mel Robbins・81 minutes read
Anxiety is rooted in separation anxiety, addressed by Dr. Russ Kennedy through a body-focused approach instead of solely worrying thoughts, while Mel Robbins shares her personal journey with anxiety and the development of the "five-second rule" to combat anxious thoughts and distinguish different approaches to addressing anxiety. Focusing on self-love, soothing techniques, and the body's alarm signals can help manage anxiety effectively, with practical steps like breathing exercises to signal safety to the brain, soothing the body's alarm and empowering individuals to heal and reconnect with themselves.
Insights
- Anxiety is often rooted in separation anxiety, originating from a lack of self-love and connection with caregivers, leading to a mind-body disconnect that triggers physical and emotional responses.
- Healing anxiety requires addressing the body's alarm signals through self-love practices, acknowledging safety in the present moment, and soothing the inner child, emphasizing the importance of physical touch, validation, and reassurance in managing anxiety effectively.
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Recent questions
What is separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety is caused by blocking love for oneself.
How can anxiety be managed effectively?
Addressing the alarm system in the body is key.
What is the "five-second rule" in combating anxiety?
The "five-second rule" is a brain hack to combat anxious thoughts.
How does the autonomic nervous system contribute to anxiety?
The autonomic nervous system triggers various anxiety responses.
How can individuals combat loneliness and feelings of separation?
Combat loneliness by acknowledging and soothing the inner child.
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Summary
00:00
Overcoming Anxiety: Healing Through Self-Love and Tools
- Anxiety is described as separation anxiety, caused by blocking love for oneself.
- Dr. Russ Kennedy aims to change the approach to anxiety, empowering individuals to heal it.
- Mel Robbins shares her personal anxiety journey, starting from childhood.
- She struggled with anxiety for 45 years, affecting her school and college experiences.
- Mel found relief through Zoloft medication, which acted as a ladder out of her anxiety.
- Postpartum depression after her daughter's birth led to severe anxiety.
- Mel developed the "five-second rule" as a brain hack to combat anxious thoughts.
- Mel distinguishes between a "neck up" and "neck down" approach to anxiety.
- Dr. Russ Kennedy emphasizes addressing anxiety from the body's perspective for healing.
- Dr. Kennedy, a bestselling author of "Anxiety RX," shares tools to heal anxiety by focusing on the body.
16:13
Understanding Anxiety: The Body's Alarm System
- Anxiety is often misunderstood and misused, leading to confusion about its nature and expression in the body.
- Changing the term "anxiety" to "alarm" can help individuals better understand and address the physical response.
- Anxiety manifests differently in people, with some experiencing frustration or anger rather than traditional worry or tension.
- The autonomic nervous system can trigger various responses like fight, flight, or freeze, leading to diverse expressions of anxiety.
- Many individuals are unaware of their anxiety until they recognize its physical and emotional manifestations.
- The amygdala, known as the fear center of the brain, plays a crucial role in recognizing and responding to alarm triggers.
- Anxiety originates as a physical response to a situation, prompting the brain to create worrisome thoughts to align with the alarm.
- Background alarm, stemming from unresolved emotional issues, contributes to the persistence of anxiety.
- All anxiety is rooted in separation anxiety, often beginning with a sense of disconnection from parents or caregivers.
- Acknowledging and addressing the physical alarm in the body, rather than solely focusing on worrisome thoughts, can help manage anxiety effectively.
31:32
Managing Anxiety: Addressing Inner Child's Cry
- Moving to Vermont, away from friends and family, leads to increased loneliness.
- Catastrophizing worsens the feeling of loneliness.
- Reflecting on childhood nicknames brings up feelings of vulnerability and separation.
- Outrunning anxiety by keeping busy is a common coping mechanism.
- Negative stress addiction is a way to numb anxiety.
- The alarm in the body may be a cry for attention from one's inner child.
- Giving oneself reassurance and love can help calm the alarm.
- Understanding the root cause of anxiety is crucial for healing.
- Overthinking exacerbates anxiety, and a neck-down approach is recommended.
- Addressing the alarm system in the body is key to managing anxiety effectively.
46:24
"Physical Reassurance Key for Anxiety in Children"
- Oakley faced bullying at school due to dyslexia and ADHD, causing morning nervousness.
- Physiological and neurological challenges made Oakley feel incapable in the classroom.
- Alarm signals triggered physiological changes, leading to stomach discomfort.
- Instead of self-reassurance, Oakley spiraled into panic attacks and physical distress.
- Traditional interventions focused on changing thoughts, but Oakley needed physical reassurance.
- Physical touch, validation, and reassurance are crucial for children facing anxiety.
- Trauma therapist emphasizes the importance of physical touch in healing pre-verbal trauma.
- The body encodes trauma, leading to unconscious alarm triggers without conscious memory.
- Techniques involve locating safe or neutral body areas to regulate the nervous system.
- Practice and repetition of physical regulation tools help in high-stress situations like presentations.
01:00:48
Healing Anxiety: Addressing Root Causes and Soothing
- Building a bridge of communication with someone who has experienced trauma involves acknowledging their pain and waiting for their response, even if it takes months.
- Cognitive therapies are helpful but may only address surface-level issues, akin to bailing water out of a leaky boat.
- To truly heal, one must address the root cause, often linked to childhood wounds, by finding and comforting the wounded inner child.
- Chronic anxiety is often connected to addictive behaviors, as addiction can serve as a coping mechanism to drown out the alarm of anxiety.
- The ego, akin to an overprotective mother, is linked to the amygdala and plays a role in avoiding past traumas.
- Anxiety and addiction are intertwined, with addiction often being a way to mute the alarm of anxiety.
- Regulating the body first can lead to a calmer mind, as the body-mind connection is crucial in managing anxiety.
- Anxiety stems from a mind-body disconnect, with individuals often staying in their heads to avoid feeling the pain in their bodies.
- The key to healing anxiety lies in soothing oneself, acknowledging safety in the present moment, and addressing the root cause of separation and lack of self-love.
- By locating and soothing the alarm in the body, individuals can begin the journey towards healing anxiety and reconnecting with themselves.
01:16:34
"Self-Love: Key to Calming Anxiety"
- A child during quarantine had a realization about self-love, leading to a positive attitude and reduced chronic anxiety.
- Anxiety can be met with acts of self-love, counterintuitive but effective in calming the mind.
- When anxious, the brain seeks threats, but redirecting focus to self-love can alleviate anxiety.
- Practical steps to combat anxiety include asking "Am I safe in this moment?" and focusing on breathing techniques.
- Breathing exercises involve quick inhales through the nose, holding the breath, and exhaling slowly with a hissing sound.
- The breathing technique aims to create a long exhale, signaling to the brain that one is safe and in control.
- The practice of self-love and soothing techniques can be a powerful tool in managing anxiety and stress.
- The alarm in the body is a signal for self-love and reassurance, not a reason to panic or numb emotions.
- Consistent practice of self-love and soothing techniques can lead to a deeper connection with oneself and empowerment to help others.
