The sex-starved marriage | Michele Weiner-Davis | TEDxCU
TEDx Talks・12 minutes read
The speaker specializes in helping couples on the verge of divorce by addressing the issue of sex-starved marriages and emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in relationships. Research shows that physical intimacy and connection are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship, underscoring the significance of responding positively to a partner's needs to foster love and mutual care in a relationship.
Insights
- Lack of communication about sex in long-term marriages can lead to misunderstandings and unmet needs, potentially worsening the dynamic in a sex-starved marriage.
- Research indicates that physical arousal can precede desire in some individuals, underscoring the importance of being receptive to a partner's advances and responding positively to bids for connection to maintain a healthy relationship.
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Recent questions
How can a couple address a sex-starved marriage?
By managing anger, communicating, and being present.
What can cause a sex-starved marriage?
Misunderstandings and unmet needs due to lack of communication.
How can rejection in relationships affect individuals?
It can cause emotional pain similar to physical pain.
What should partners prioritize in a relationship?
Fulfilling each other's specific ways of feeling connected.
What can precede desire in some individuals?
Physical arousal.
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Summary
00:00
"Resolving Sex-Starved Marriages: Communication and Connection"
- The speaker specializes in working with couples on the brink of divorce, aiming to help them resolve differences and rekindle love.
- The speaker's parents' unexpected divorce at 16 led to a passion for understanding and teaching healthy relationships.
- A sex-starved marriage involves one partner craving more physical intimacy while the other dismisses it, risking disconnection and divorce.
- The primary cause of a sex-starved marriage is often simple to solve, despite complex underlying reasons for low desire.
- In a sex-starved marriage, the partner with lower sex drive typically controls the sexual relationship.
- Lack of communication about sex in long-term marriages can lead to misunderstandings and unmet needs.
- A couple's dynamic in a sex-starved marriage can worsen if not addressed properly, leading to anger, withdrawal, and further disconnection.
- To address a sex-starved marriage, the partner with higher desire should manage anger, communicate, and be present, while the other should consider adopting a "just do it" approach.
- Research shows that physical arousal can precede desire in some individuals, emphasizing the importance of being receptive to a partner's advances.
- Human beings are wired for connection, and rejection in relationships can cause emotional pain similar to physical pain, highlighting the importance of responding positively to a partner's bids for connection.
15:53
"Connecting through touch and intimacy in relationships"
- Understanding and connecting with your partner involves recognizing and fulfilling their specific ways of feeling connected, including physical touch and intimacy, as these are powerful means of bonding and expressing love in a relationship. Prioritizing your partner's needs, even if you don't fully comprehend or agree with them, is essential for building healthy relationships based on mutual caretaking and love, ultimately contributing to a more loving world.
