The BIGGEST Reasons 80% Of Relationships FAIL... | Esther Perel

Greatness Clips - Lewis Howes21 minutes read

Key challenges in relationships include indifference, neglect, violence, and contempt, impacting the emotional dynamics significantly. Sustaining desire in long-term relationships requires seduction, playfulness, and maintaining a sense of mystery, with a focus on balancing love and desire for passion and fulfillment.

Insights

  • Indifference, neglect, violence, and contempt are common challenges in relationships that can lead to their downfall, highlighting the importance of maintaining care, connection, and respect to sustain a healthy partnership.
  • Understanding the impact of childhood dynamics on relationship behaviors, recognizing the evolving nature of sexuality, and prioritizing seduction, playfulness, and emotional risk-taking are crucial for nurturing desire, passion, and growth within a relationship, emphasizing the significance of intentional efforts and mutual appreciation for long-term success.

Get key ideas from YouTube videos. It’s free

Recent questions

  • What are common challenges in relationships?

    Indifference, neglect, violence, contempt, and disrespect.

  • How do childhood experiences influence relationships?

    Childhood shapes views on closeness, trust, and loyalty.

  • What is the importance of maintaining desire in relationships?

    Understanding seduction, playfulness, and mystery is crucial.

  • Why does women's desire decline in monogamous relationships?

    Due to lack of seduction, romance, and playfulness.

  • How can individuals maintain a healthy dynamic in relationships?

    By regularly checking in, showing gratitude, and avoiding strain.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

Challenges in Relationships: Indifference, Neglect, Violence, Contempt

  • In relationships, key challenges that often lead to their demise include indifference, contempt, neglect, and violence.
  • Indifference arises when one feels the other no longer cares, leading to a sense of disconnect and estrangement.
  • Neglect occurs when partners take each other for granted, prioritizing other aspects of life over their relationship.
  • Violence, not just physical but also emotional, disrespect, and passive aggressiveness, can deteriorate a relationship.
  • Contempt, the most damaging, involves degradation and a sense of superiority over one's partner.
  • Relationships mirror dynamics learned from childhood, shaping views on closeness, trust, and loyalty.
  • Sexuality has evolved rapidly, shifting from a duty to a part of identity and lifestyle in a short span.
  • Sustaining desire in long-term relationships requires understanding the importance of seduction, playfulness, and maintaining a sense of mystery.
  • Women's desire in monogamous relationships often declines due to a lack of seduction, romance, and playfulness.
  • Desire is rooted in self-worth and vitality, with confidence being a significant turn-on, balancing love and desire in a relationship is crucial for maintaining passion.

15:03

Nurturing Intimate Connection for Relationship Success

  • Commitment to making time for intimate connection is crucial; premeditated, intentional efforts are necessary for a fulfilling relationship.
  • Emotional risk-taking is essential for desire and growth in a relationship; it involves bringing something new to the partnership to enhance it.
  • Regularly checking in with oneself and the relationship, showing gratitude and appreciation, is vital for maintaining a healthy dynamic.
  • Creating an internal incentivized system within a relationship, focusing on gratitude, acknowledgment, and going beyond the minimum effort, is key for long-term success.
  • Avoiding making one person responsible for all needs and seeking admiration and support from various sources can prevent relationship strain and foster individual growth.
Channel avatarChannel avatarChannel avatarChannel avatarChannel avatar

Try it yourself — It’s free.