Ryan Holiday ON: How To AVOID BEING MISERABLE For The Rest of Your Life | Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty Podcast・2 minutes read

Society is moving towards pleasure-seeking while neglecting wisdom and self-control, with a focus on balancing discipline, sustainability, and rest. Personal growth requires stepping outside comfort zones and challenging oneself, emphasizing the importance of actions over intentions and embracing difficulties for profound personal development and resilience.

Insights

Society is increasingly drawn to immediate pleasure, often neglecting wisdom and self-control, which can lead to negative consequences like hangovers and shortsighted decisions.
Discipline involves not just pushing oneself but also understanding the importance of rest, balancing sustainability with hard work, and questioning emotions to make the right choices, ultimately focusing on actions over intentions to cultivate meaningful habits and relationships.

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Recent questions

How can discipline be balanced with rest?
By knowing when to push and when to recover.

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Summary

00:00

Society's Pleasure Addiction: Wisdom vs. Self-Control

Society is becoming addicted to pleasure-seeking, moving away from wisdom and self-control.
The Epicureans believe that excessive pleasure can lead to negative consequences, like hangovers.
Immediate pleasure, like sex, often blinds individuals to future consequences or regrets.
Wisdom involves considering the long-term effects of current actions and questioning one's own thoughts and beliefs.
Ambitious individuals often tie their happiness to future accomplishments, which may not be realistic.
Ego can lead people to believe they are exceptions to common pitfalls or mistakes.
Discipline is not just about pushing oneself but also about knowing when to rest and recover.
Balancing discipline with sustainability and rest is crucial, especially for elite athletes.
Self-discipline involves questioning one's emotions and impulses to determine the right course of action.
Dad guilt can arise from balancing work commitments with family responsibilities, requiring individuals to prioritize their time and values.

13:12

"Actions Over Words: Cultivating Discipline and Happiness"

Actions speak louder than words; focus on deeds, not just thoughts or wishes.
Mark Aurelius, a Stoic Emperor, exemplifies this philosophy through his actions, not explicit identification with Stoicism.
Prioritize actions over intentions; self-audit to align priorities with actions taken.
Shift from feeling to thinking and doing; change thoughts and actions to alter emotions like guilt or happiness.
Happiness is a byproduct of meaningful actions and habits, not a direct pursuit.
Cultivate good habits and routines for desired outcomes, like a happier home life.
Balance sedentary activities like writing with physical practices to cultivate discipline.
Cold plunges or challenging activities build the muscle to push through discomfort and cultivate discipline.
Personal growth often requires stepping outside comfort zones and challenging oneself.
Discipline in personal life is crucial; focus on improving personal relationships and habits as much as professional success.

27:02

Navigating Life's Challenges: Embracing Growth and Resilience

Personal life expectations are challenging due to reliance on others who may not share your desires or plans.
Having children and being married necessitates adjusting and accommodating to others' needs, disrupting personal routines.
Yes Theory's Ahmad highlighted the importance of saying no and facing difficult tasks, like sitting with one's thoughts for 15 minutes.
Seeking discomfort involves challenging oneself with tasks that are personally difficult, like sitting quietly.
Pascal's quote emphasizes the struggle of humanity to be still, especially in today's distracting world.
Discipline involves self-awareness, control, and the ability to confront discomfort by being still.
Overcoming addiction or habits, like sugar consumption, requires education, support, and gradual changes over time.
Discipline is a lifelong journey, not a sudden transformation, requiring patience, self-awareness, and setting achievable goals.
The mind's control illusion is shattered by unexpected events, like injuries, highlighting the importance of responding positively to challenges.
Embracing difficulties as opportunities for growth and practice, even in the worst scenarios, can lead to profound personal development and resilience.

40:35

Embracing challenges for growth and resilience

The importance of accepting situations as they are and not trying to force them to be different is highlighted.
Reflecting on current experiences as formative for the future is emphasized.
Freud's perspective on retrospect and struggle being beautiful is mentioned.
The significance of experiencing difficulties to build discipline is discussed.
The detrimental effects of being rescued from difficulties and not learning from them are pointed out.
The language used to describe challenging times, like during COVID, is criticized for its negative impact.
The transformative potential of difficult experiences is highlighted, with examples from historical events.
The concept of emerging from challenging times with newfound strength and capabilities is emphasized.
The idea of reframing negative thoughts during difficult times to find gratitude and growth is discussed.
The Stockdale Paradox, focusing on accepting reality while striving for positive outcomes, is explained.

54:58

"Authenticity, Audience, and Growth: Keys to Success"

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and fully committed to creating authentic and relatable work.
It is crucial to accept one's intentions and values, balancing personal truth with commercial success.
The conversation highlights the necessity of understanding and serving the audience, utilizing various platforms and tools to reach different people.
Success is viewed as impacting the world positively, with financial gain being a byproduct rather than the primary goal.
The discussion delves into the concept of creating value, where personal growth and learning are the primary benefits, with external success being secondary.
The importance of long-term commitment and continuous improvement is stressed, with the idea that current efforts will pay off in the future.
Seeking mentorship and coaching is essential for personal growth and skill refinement, with a focus on identifying teachers to guide one to the next level.
The conversation touches on the significance of allowing oneself to evolve and explore different aspects of life and creativity, rather than being confined to a single identity or experience.
The speaker reflects on the evolution of their work, from initial influences to current endeavors, emphasizing the need for ongoing self-discovery and growth.
The importance of not becoming complacent, continuously adding new skills and perspectives to one's repertoire, is highlighted as a key factor in long-term success and fulfillment.

01:08:07

Embrace Growth Through Diverse Pursuits

The author discusses the importance of not limiting oneself to a single area of expertise, using their own experience of transitioning from marketing books to writing about ancient philosophy as an example.
They emphasize the value of challenging oneself and trying new things, even if it means starting from scratch or facing potential failure, citing Tiger Woods' swing changes as an illustration.
The author highlights the necessity of maintaining courage and discipline in pursuing new directions, even after achieving initial success, to avoid stagnation and continue personal growth.
They stress the significance of internal satisfaction and personal growth over external recognition, encouraging listeners to embrace creativity, take risks, and follow their own path, regardless of outcomes.

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