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Relationship Astrology for Modern Times, with Jessica Lanyadoo

The Astrology Podcast・146 minutes read

Jessica Lanyadoo discusses adapting relationship astrology to modern times, emphasizing the need to reflect modern sensibilities. She aims to deepen readers' understanding of relationships, focusing on humanity rather than gender and advocating for conscious choices in relationships.

Insights

  • Jessica Lanyadoo emphasizes adapting astrology to modern sensibilities, including gender, sexuality, race, and class.
  • Her work focuses on using astrology as a counseling tool to provide actionable tools for individuals.
  • Jessica Lanyadoo's book, "Astrology for Real Relationships," aims to deepen readers' understanding of relationships, emphasizing self-relationship as foundational.
  • The book challenges traditional views on friendships, embraces diverse relationship types, and advocates for humanity over gender.
  • Consultations involve understanding clients without imposing personal morality, focusing on questioning motivations and societal assumptions.
  • Astrologers should avoid projecting personal experiences onto clients and prioritize flexibility and understanding diverse backgrounds.
  • The importance of personal growth through understanding one's birth chart and relationships is highlighted over seeking idealized connections.

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Recent questions

  • What is the focus of Jessica Lanyadoo's new book on relationship astrology?

    Jessica Lanyadoo's new book on relationship astrology aims to deepen readers' understanding of relationships by emphasizing the importance of understanding one's relationship with oneself as the foundation for all other relationships. The book focuses on humanity rather than gender, being feminist and queer-inclusive, acknowledging diverse relationship types, including non-monogamous, queer, and asexual relationships. It encourages individuals to choose their path consciously, whether conventional or not, and provides actionable tools for enhancing relationships.

  • How does Jessica Lanyadoo approach astrology in her counseling work?

    Jessica Lanyadoo approaches astrology as a counseling tool to provide actionable tools for individuals in her work. She focuses on using astrology to meet individuals where they are without imposing moral judgments, challenging societal assumptions about adulthood and relationships. Lanyadoo emphasizes understanding the fundamentals of astrology, particularly focusing on planets for practical utility, enabling readers to apply astrology across various relationship contexts without judgment.

  • What is the significance of the book "Astrology for Real Relationships" by Jessica Lanyadoo?

    The book "Astrology for Real Relationships" by Jessica Lanyadoo aims to deepen readers' understanding of relationships by focusing on humanity rather than gender, being feminist and queer-inclusive. It acknowledges diverse relationship types, including non-monogamous, queer, and asexual relationships, encouraging individuals to choose their path consciously. The book emphasizes the importance of understanding one's relationship with oneself as the foundation for all other relationships, providing actionable tools for enhancing relationships.

  • How does Jessica Lanyadoo view the importance of adapting astrology to modern sensibilities?

    Jessica Lanyadoo emphasizes the need to adapt astrology to reflect modern sensibilities, including gender, sexuality, race, and class. She believes that modern voices and the internet have democratized astrology, allowing for diverse perspectives and challenging traditional male-centric views. Lanyadoo's work is influenced by her background as a queer person and her experiences with refugees, advocating for a humanistic approach to astrology that avoids imposing personal morality on clients with different backgrounds or beliefs.

  • What is the core message of Jessica Lanyadoo's podcast and book on relationship astrology?

    The core message of Jessica Lanyadoo's podcast and book on relationship astrology is to provide actionable tools for individuals to enhance their relationships. Lanyadoo focuses on using astrology as a counseling tool, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's relationship with oneself as the foundation for all other relationships. Her work is influenced by her background as a queer person and her experiences with refugees, advocating for a humanistic approach to astrology that avoids imposing personal morality on clients with different backgrounds or beliefs.

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Summary

00:00

"Modern Relationship Astrology with Jessica Lanyadoo"

  • The episode of The Astrology Podcast was recorded on Saturday, November 16th, 2019, starting at 3:53 pm in Denver, Colorado.
  • The guest, astrologer Jessica Lanyadoo, discussed adapting relationship astrology to modern times.
  • Jessica Lanyadoo has a new book on relationship astrology coming out by a major publisher.
  • She emphasizes the need to adapt astrology to reflect modern sensibilities, including gender, sexuality, race, and class.
  • Jessica Lanyadoo hosts the "Ghost of a Podcast," which started about a year and a couple of months ago.
  • She focuses on using astrology as a counseling tool to provide actionable tools for individuals.
  • Jessica Lanyadoo's work is influenced by her background as a queer person and her experiences with refugees.
  • Astrology has historically been male-centric, but modern voices and the internet have democratized astrology, allowing for diverse perspectives.
  • Jessica Lanyadoo's book, "Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along," aims to deepen readers' understanding of relationships.
  • The book emphasizes the importance of understanding one's relationship with oneself as the foundation for all other relationships.

12:24

"Enhancing Relationships Through Humanistic Astrology"

  • The book aims to enhance relationships by focusing on humanity rather than gender, being feminist and queer-inclusive.
  • It acknowledges diverse relationship types, including non-monogamous, queer, and asexual relationships.
  • The author credits the internet for enabling global sharing of language and self-definition.
  • The book is structured into three sections: friends and chosen family, hooking up and early dating, and long-term relationships.
  • It challenges traditional views on friendships and emphasizes the importance of platonic relationships.
  • The section on hooking up and early dating addresses the ambiguity and stages of relationships beyond the typical astrological approach.
  • The author prioritizes understanding the fundamentals of astrology, particularly focusing on planets for practical utility.
  • By grasping the archetype of planets, readers can apply astrology across various relationship contexts.
  • The author's humanistic approach to astrology involves meeting individuals where they are without imposing moral judgments.
  • Consultations involve questioning clients' motivations for major life decisions, challenging societal assumptions about adulthood and relationships.

24:44

Navigating Relationships and Sexuality in Astrology

  • Questions the importance of legally binding agreements and parties in relationships
  • Advocates for questioning assumptions about sexual orientation and dating preferences
  • Encourages individuals to choose their path consciously, whether conventional or not
  • Shares a story about a client cheating on her husband and lover, highlighting the importance of understanding choices without judgment
  • Emphasizes the need for astrologers and therapists to support clients without imposing personal morality
  • Discusses the danger of astrologers projecting their experiences onto clients instead of using an objective lens
  • Stresses the importance of flexibility and avoiding imposing personal morality on clients with different backgrounds or beliefs
  • Advocates for addressing sex and sexuality in astrology, especially in relation to shame, duty, and embracing one's sexuality
  • Highlights the evolution of societal norms around sex and relationships, encouraging open discussions in astrology
  • Encourages astrologers to understand human nature thoroughly to interpret astrology accurately and without judgment

36:51

Holistic Approach to Astrology and Sex

  • Safer sex practices are crucial to protect physical and emotional well-being, preventing STIs and unintended pregnancies.
  • Understanding the importance of sexual boundaries is essential for overall health and well-being.
  • Bridging the gap between astrology and discussions on sex and health is encouraged for a holistic approach.
  • Traditional astrology sometimes perpetuates a divide between spirit and body, leading to shame or guilt regarding the body.
  • Intimacy involves physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects, necessitating presence in all areas for holistic growth.
  • Every birth chart is unique, reflecting individual choices and evolution of the soul.
  • Astrology consultations offer continuous learning experiences due to the uniqueness of each chart and individual life manifestations.
  • Couples readings in astrology are discouraged unless in specific circumstances like long-term relationships or involving children.
  • Reading for children requires confidentiality and a mindful approach due to power differentials and age-related considerations.
  • Tailoring consultations for younger individuals under 25 involves framing information differently to respect their experiences and maturity levels.

48:15

Astrologers analyze relationships with composite charts.

  • In your 20s, you may struggle with childhood issues or identity crises, but as you age, astrologers believe time matures and changes individuals.
  • Astrologers feel a responsibility to counsel based on astrological understanding, acknowledging generational transits and levels of individuation at specific ages.
  • While astrologers work with younger individuals, they frame consultations differently, avoiding overly deterministic statements.
  • Consultations with older couples can provide valuable insights, as seen in an instance where a wife's perspective shed light on her husband's past and psychological influences.
  • Couples readings can be beneficial if both partners are prepared and have a genuine reason beyond mere curiosity or past life connections.
  • Astrologers like to work with composite charts for couples, focusing on the relationship as a separate entity with its own dynamics.
  • Some astrologers, like the speaker, prefer composite charts over synastry and believe in the importance of studying all houses in a birth chart for relationship analysis.
  • The speaker emphasizes the significance of power dynamics, communication, and shared responsibility in relationships, as these factors can either break or strengthen bonds.
  • It is advised not to delve into a partner's birth chart prematurely, as it may lead to incorrect assumptions and hinder genuine emotional connection and intimacy.
  • Different relationships, such as romantic and platonic, manifest astrological placements differently, emphasizing the need for caution and understanding in interpreting charts.

59:04

Understanding and Avoiding Astrological Misjudgments in Relationships

  • Developing the ability to read a person and interpret their life and personality accurately is crucial.
  • Avoid making quick judgments about new people in your life; give them time to show their true selves.
  • Refrain from projecting past experiences onto future relationships based on astrological signs or placements.
  • Energy varies, and not all similar energies will fit into the same mold.
  • Studying exes' birth charts can provide retrospective insights but avoid preconceived notions in new relationships.
  • Personal experiences highlight the importance of not jumping to conclusions based on astrological similarities.
  • Focus on personal growth through understanding one's birth chart rather than seeking answers in others.
  • Relationships may exhibit repetitions in certain astrological placements, offering educational opportunities.
  • Preference for composite charts over Davison charts due to the former's abstraction of midpoint theories.
  • Twin flame concept is viewed skeptically, with emphasis on seeking functional, healthy relationships over idealized connections.

01:10:24

Navigating Relationships: Soul Connections and Realities

  • Soul and spiritual connections are important, but functionality and compatibility in real-time relationships are crucial.
  • Astrologers are often sought out to identify soulmates and karmic relationships, but certainty in these matters is limited.
  • Every relationship, whether with a pet, friend, or romantic partner, should involve a soul connection for it to be fulfilling.
  • Relationships with strong Neptune or Pluto influences may focus on potential or intense feelings rather than healthy dynamics.
  • Not all relationships labeled as soul unions or twin flames are necessarily better or healthier.
  • It's essential to focus on the present and deal with relationships realistically rather than getting attached to potential outcomes.
  • Astrology can help identify areas of compatibility and tension in relationships, but the ultimate decision to stay or leave lies with the individuals involved.
  • Problems in relationships can be personal growth opportunities or destructive patterns that need to be addressed.
  • All relationships are karmic in nature, reflecting past actions and experiences.
  • "The Greatness of Saturn" is a recommended book for those interested in exploring karmic relationships and spiritual growth.

01:21:54

Debunking 'Sister Signs' in Relationship Astrology

  • Rob Bailey, known as @oldschoolastro on Twitter, questions the concept of 'sister signs' in relationship astrology or synastry.
  • The idea of sister signs has gained popularity recently but lacks a clear definition, leading to confusion among different individuals.
  • Concepts like twin flames, sister signs, and cusps seem to have emerged spontaneously in recent times, challenging traditional astrology beliefs.
  • Twin flames, unlike sister signs, is not an astrology concept but often gets intertwined with astrology, tarot readings, and other practices.
  • The democratization of astrology raises concerns about the credibility of sources and the validity of new concepts like sister signs.
  • Sister signs may refer to zodiac signs that are opposite or ruled by the same planet, like Libra and Taurus being sister signs due to both being ruled by Venus.
  • The necessity and practicality of the sister signs concept are questioned, with doubts about its relevance in improving relationships.
  • Relationships are emphasized as active engagements where individuals have choices and free will, not predetermined by astrological transits or concepts like sister signs.
  • The evolving nature of relationships and the need for personal growth and learning from experiences are highlighted over the fixation on finding 'the one' or marriage.
  • The conversation shifts to broader societal changes, like climate change impacting future generations, leading to shifts in priorities around intimacy, partnering, and community.

01:32:55

Navigating Name, AI, Astrology, and Diversity

  • The speaker struggles with people mispronouncing and misspelling their last name, "Lan-yah-doe."
  • Another person, Chris Brennan, lost his domain name to a MMA fighter with the same name, known as the West Side Strangler.
  • There is a discussion about potential future scenarios involving artificial intelligence and human-AI relationships.
  • The conversation delves into the impact of virtual relationships on interpersonal dynamics and projections.
  • Concerns are raised about AI being programmed with biases due to the lack of diversity in the tech industry.
  • The importance of diversity in technology and programming is emphasized to avoid potential issues.
  • The conversation shifts to relationship astrology, debunking the idea that only certain zodiac signs are compatible.
  • The importance of considering various planetary placements in astrology for understanding relationships is highlighted.
  • The breakdown of different planets and their significance in relationships is discussed, emphasizing the complexity of astrological analysis.
  • The speaker's book on astrology is mentioned, detailing how it explores different planetary influences on relationships and the importance of diverse perspectives in astrology.

01:44:33

Navigating Queer Astrology: Insights and Tools

  • Many astrologers struggle with organizing and documenting the insights gained from consultations.
  • Teaching or lecturing to other astrologers can reveal the need to explain methodologies clearly.
  • The book discussed includes cute pictures and is designed to be huggable and portable.
  • The book is intended for note-taking and repeated reference to deepen astrological knowledge.
  • Various podcast episodes are recommended for further exploration of relationship astrology.
  • Queering astrology involves avoiding assumptions and allowing for individual agency in relationships.
  • The normalization of gay relationships impacts how astrologers interpret queer relationships.
  • The term 'queer' has evolved to encompass a broader range of identities and experiences.
  • Uranus and Neptune are highlighted as planets relevant to understanding queerness in astrology.
  • Personal experiences reflect the changing societal attitudes towards queer identities and relationships.

01:56:23

Navigating Queer Relationships and Astrology Insights

  • Partner is trans, comfortable being out about it, can have conversations due to increased cultural awareness and ability to Google terms.
  • Partner is a "passing" trans man, experiencing straight privilege within the queer relationship, highlighting differences in experiences.
  • Astrology is about queering the viewfinder, not about labeling planets as gay or straight.
  • Uncertainty about the future normalization of LGBTQ+ rights due to societal factors like religion and gender norms.
  • Concerns about climate change, water insecurity, and refugee crises impacting progress in LGBTQ+ and human rights.
  • Birth charts should not be used to predict sexual orientation, focus on humanity and common sense in discussions.
  • Topping and bottoming terminology in queer relationships can be integrated into astrology, providing more nuanced understanding.
  • Straight culture adopting queer language and wisdom is positive but must acknowledge power dynamics in relationships.
  • Differences in relationships based on race, class, and age can create inequities that need to be recognized and addressed.
  • Nature versus nurture is essential in understanding birth charts and guiding discussions on sexuality and identity.

02:08:00

"Marriage begins with partnership decision"

  • Astrologer JL does not practice electional astrology for marriages, believing that the decision to get married marks the beginning of a marriage, not the wedding itself.
  • JL emphasizes that the marriage begins with the decision to be partnered, not with the wedding ceremony conducted by the church or government.
  • When asked about considering first meeting elections in synastry readings, JL dismisses the idea, stating that such information does not aid in being present and authentic in a relationship.
  • JL expresses a lack of interest in sun sign astrology for relationship compatibility, mentioning Annabelle Gat's book on sun sign compatibility but asserting her focus on birth charts.
  • The conversation shifts to house systems, with JL discussing her preference for the Campanus house system due to its detailed data on interceptions, especially related to prenatal conditions.
  • JL shares her experience with astrology teacher Mike Boyle, who advised her to study her chart in all house systems and choose one to stick with, leading her to adopt the Campanus system.
  • The discussion touches on the importance of respecting boundaries in casual relationships, with JL advising not to treat casual partners like best friends or partners based on astrology compatibility.
  • JL emphasizes the need to differentiate between casual relationships and long-term partnerships, suggesting that focusing on birth charts is unnecessary for casual relationships.
  • The conversation delves into the concept of sexual relationships and kinks, with JL highlighting that kinks are associated with the outer planets rather than Venus and Mars in astrology.
  • The summary concludes with a mention of Annabelle Gat's book on love and sex astrology, known for its compatibility insights and appealing illustrations.

02:18:09

"Sexuality, Astrology, and Saturn: Broadening Perspectives"

  • Sexual perversion is viewed positively, with some engaging in sex out of a desire for love and companionship rather than Mars-driven desires.
  • Fixating solely on Venus-Mars for sex overlooks the complexity of human beings and their traumas, leading to missed insights from birth charts.
  • Using muscle groups not typically associated with a movement can improve performance, similar to how one may think they're moving with Mars but actually pulling from Saturn in a birth chart.
  • Different backgrounds, traumas, and kinks can influence one's sexual desires, expanding the definition of perversion and kinky beyond traditional norms.
  • Encouragement to broaden perspectives on sex and sexuality, understanding that individual desires may not align with actions due to partner preferences or inhibitions.
  • Avoid analyzing crushes or partners' charts to determine their sexual desires; instead, have open conversations to understand preferences and boundaries.
  • Discussion on practicing astrology before Saturn return, emphasizing transparency with clients about experience level and pricing accordingly.
  • Acknowledgment of the Saturn return marking the transition to adulthood and the importance of maturity and integration gained through this astrological transit.
  • Importance of being transparent about one's experience level and relationship with Saturn when counseling clients, as astrologers serve as stewards of time and development.
  • Confirmation that it's acceptable to practice astrology before Saturn return, as long as honesty and openness about experience level are maintained.

02:29:17

Navigating Saturn Return: Time, Astrology, Growth, Relationships

  • The speaker reflects on reaching a significant point in life at their 35th birthday, emphasizing the importance of time and experience.
  • They mention being a practicing astrologer and encourage others to explore astrology during their Saturn return period.
  • Saturn return is discussed in relation to dating, with the speaker sharing personal experiences and advice on navigating relationships during this time.
  • The importance of understanding one's birth chart and how it influences experiences during Saturn return is highlighted.
  • The speaker emphasizes the need to pay attention to various transits during Saturn return, not just Saturn's influence.
  • Personal experiences during Saturn return are shared, with a focus on self-discovery and growth.
  • The impact of Saturn on appearance, specifically hair loss, is discussed, highlighting the physical manifestations of Saturn's influence.
  • The speaker stresses the importance of taking responsibility for oneself and embodying maturity during Saturn return.
  • Different manifestations of Saturn return experiences are acknowledged, ranging from constructive to challenging.
  • The speaker and host discuss their personal experiences during Saturn return, including challenges and growth opportunities.

02:40:30

Gratitude for support and book launch

  • JL and CB express gratitude for the support and discuss the upcoming book launch in about a month and a half, highlighting the importance of promoting good astrology and making it accessible to people. They thank patrons and sponsors for their support in producing the podcast.
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