Narcissist's Revenge: Signs YOU are in DANGER
Prof. Sam Vaknin・20 minutes read
Narcissists experience frustration as narcissistic injury, leading to aggression and manipulation to reduce anxiety. They can transition to various self-states under stress and resort to abusive behaviors, including violence and revenge, driven by their fear of intimacy.
Insights
- Frustration and aggression play a significant role in the life of a narcissist, leading to transitions between different self-states under mounting stress, ultimately culminating in dangerous behaviors like violence and revenge.
- Narcissists seek intimate partners to fulfill shared fantasies and often resort to manipulation and abuse due to their fear of intimacy, transitioning through covert and psychopathic self-states, with revenge serving as a tool to regain a sense of grandiosity and control.
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Recent questions
How do narcissists perceive frustration?
Narcissists perceive any frustration as narcissistic injury, leading to anxiety and stress. This perception of frustration as internal leads them to attempt to modify others to reduce dissonance and anxiety.
What is the transition process for a narcissist under extreme stress?
Under mounting anxiety and stress, a narcissist decompensates, transitioning to a borderline self-state. This transition is followed by a covert phase before entering a psychopathic self-state.
What are the different types of revenge responses seen in narcissists?
There are three types of revenge responses: punitive moralistic, narcissistic, and pragmatic restorative. Punitive moralistic revenge aims to restore justice but can devolve into obsession and criminal behavior. Narcissistic revenge is a way for narcissists to regain their grandiosity by punishing those they perceive as perpetrators. Pragmatic restorative revenge is a healthy response where victims aim to restore their fortunes and rights, seeking to revert the world to its previous state by acting decisively against their violators.
How do narcissists seek to brainwash their intimate partners?
The adult narcissist seeks an intimate partner to brainwash into a shared fantasy, lasting for decades. This manipulation is a key aspect of their relationships, aiming to control and mold their partner's perception to fit their own.
What is the role of frustration in a narcissist's life?
Frustration aggression is a recurring theme in a narcissist's life, with Dollard's 1933 hypothesis explaining how frustration leads to aggression. Narcissists perceive frustration as a narcissistic injury, which can lead to anxiety and stress, ultimately affecting their behavior and relationships.
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Summary
00:00
"Narcissist's Life: Childhood Trauma to Aggression"
- A narcissist's life can be summarized in under 30 seconds, starting from childhood trauma to adult narcissism and final years.
- The adult narcissist seeks an intimate partner to brainwash into a shared fantasy, lasting for decades.
- Frustration aggression is a recurring theme in a narcissist's life, with Dollard's 1933 hypothesis explaining how frustration leads to aggression.
- Narcissists perceive any frustration as narcissistic injury, leading to anxiety and stress.
- Under mounting anxiety and stress, a narcissist decompensates, transitioning to a borderline self-state.
- Frustration in a narcissist leads to externalized, reckless aggression, aiming to force compliance with their expectations.
- Narcissists perceive frustration as internal, leading to attempts to modify others to reduce dissonance and anxiety.
- Narcissists transition to a borderline self-state under extreme stress, followed by a covert phase before a psychopathic self-state.
- The covert phase involves normal behavior while planning revenge and destruction, often covertly.
- Narcissists can transition to either eruptive or escalatory borderline self-states, seeking to provoke a fight through projective identification.
20:33
"Narcissistic Revenge: From Abuse to Violence"
- Narcissists often resort to verbal and psychological abuse, escalating to violence against those close to them due to their fear of intimacy.
- Aggression in narcissists transitions from abstract to physical violence, dehumanizing even their loved ones, with some becoming paranoid and vindictive, leading to dangerous behaviors like stalking or murder.
- There are three types of revenge responses: punitive moralistic, narcissistic, and pragmatic restorative, with the first two being unhealthy. Punitive moralistic revenge aims to restore justice but can devolve into obsession and criminal behavior.
- Narcissistic revenge is a way for narcissists to regain their grandiosity by punishing those they perceive as perpetrators, seeking to silence internal voices of inadequacy.
- Pragmatic restorative revenge is a healthy response where victims aim to restore their fortunes and rights, seeking to revert the world to its previous state by acting decisively against their violators.
