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Mel Robbins ON: If You STRUGGLE With Stress & Anxiety, This Will CHANGE Your Life! | Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty Podcast・78 minutes read

The text discusses the importance of focusing on the journey in life, not just the end goal, highlighting the significance of happiness, confidence, and self-improvement through intentional actions and personal growth. It emphasizes the need to confront internal struggles, shift negative thinking patterns, and embrace daily routines to achieve fulfillment and celebrate small wins along the way.

Insights

  • Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of learning happiness and contentment, focusing on being present and reframing negative thoughts, highlighting the journey towards happiness and acknowledging past coping mechanisms.
  • Mel Robbins challenges the idea that mediocrity is safer than striving for happiness, emphasizing the importance of deserving and pursuing happiness despite societal norms and the campaign of misery within oneself.
  • The speaker shares a personal story of transitioning from a safe corporate job to pursuing a passion despite initial doubts, encouraging taking small steps daily towards dreams to combat the campaign of misery within oneself and shift from self-doubt to growth.

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Recent questions

  • How can one find happiness and contentment in life?

    Finding happiness and contentment in life involves focusing on being present and reframing negative thoughts. It's essential to learn to appreciate the journey rather than solely fixating on reaching goals. By embracing each step along the way and recognizing the meaningful moments that come with it, individuals can cultivate a sense of fulfillment and joy in their daily experiences. Mel Robbins, a renowned confidence and motivation expert, emphasizes the importance of shifting one's mindset towards positivity and learning to be content in the present moment. By practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and self-reflection, individuals can gradually build a foundation of happiness that stems from within.

  • How can one combat self-doubt and negativity to pursue happiness?

    Overcoming self-doubt and negativity involves redirecting negative energy towards positive actions. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or perceived shortcomings, individuals can focus on taking small steps daily towards their dreams. By challenging negative thoughts and actively engaging in activities that promote personal growth and self-assurance, individuals can gradually build confidence and resilience. Mel Robbins, through her work and personal experiences, highlights the importance of confronting internal struggles and embracing discomfort as a means of fostering growth and happiness. By acknowledging one's worth and deserving of happiness, individuals can break free from societal norms and pursue their aspirations with determination and self-belief.

  • How can one navigate feelings of envy and insecurity in relationships?

    Feeling envious or insecure in relationships is a common experience that often stems from personal insecurities and comparisons. It's essential to recognize these emotions as opportunities for self-reflection and growth rather than sources of negativity. By focusing on one's own journey, asking leading questions, and creating space for open communication, individuals can support others through their growth while also addressing their own feelings of envy or resistance. Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of accepting that people may take different paths in life and that relationships can evolve over time. By fostering understanding, empathy, and self-awareness, individuals can navigate feelings of envy and insecurity in relationships with grace and compassion.

  • How can one build self-confidence and combat self-doubt effectively?

    Building self-confidence and combating self-doubt requires taking action and trying new things to expand one's comfort zone. The Confidence Competency Loop, as discussed by Mel Robbins, emphasizes the importance of stepping out of one's comfort zone, even if mistakes are made, to build confidence through experience. By challenging oneself, setting achievable goals, and celebrating small wins, individuals can gradually boost their self-assurance and belief in their abilities. It's crucial to redirect negative energy towards positive actions and focus on personal growth rather than comparing oneself to others. By embracing challenges, seeking feedback, and learning from setbacks, individuals can cultivate a strong sense of self-confidence and resilience.

  • How can one find happiness and contentment in daily routines?

    Finding happiness and contentment in daily routines involves acknowledging and appreciating small achievements and efforts. By celebrating small wins, adding happy elements from the past into daily life, and focusing on positive interactions, individuals can create a sense of fulfillment and joy in their everyday experiences. Mel Robbins emphasizes the significance of recognizing the value in small moments and taking time to reflect on one's progress. By incorporating gratitude, mindfulness, and self-care practices into daily routines, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of happiness that stems from within. It's essential to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment to create a life that is meaningful and fulfilling.

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Summary

00:00

"Embracing Happiness: Mel Robbins' Journey"

  • The purpose of going for a hike is to focus on the trail, not just reaching the top, as each step leads somewhere meaningful in life.
  • Jay Shetty, a best-selling author and host of a top Health and Wellness podcast, welcomes Mel Robbins, a renowned confidence and motivation expert.
  • Mel Robbins, a sought-after figure by leading brands and medical professionals, is a New York Times best-selling author with a successful podcast and media company.
  • Mel Robbins' work includes books like "The High Five Habit" and "The Five Second Rule," along with a highly popular podcast and TEDx talks.
  • Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of learning happiness and contentment, focusing on being present and reframing negative thoughts.
  • Mel Robbins shares a personal story about her daughter leaving for college, highlighting the struggle of encouraging loved ones to grow and the campaign of misery.
  • Mel Robbins discusses her journey towards happiness, acknowledging past coping mechanisms and the need to slow down and be content in the present.
  • Mel Robbins draws a comparison between learning happiness and learning to curl hair, emphasizing the importance of experiencing discomfort to grow.
  • Jay Shetty shares a personal experience with his mother, discussing the mindset of counting down days and the importance of celebrating the present.
  • Mel Robbins challenges the idea that mediocrity is safer than striving for happiness, emphasizing the importance of deserving and pursuing happiness despite societal norms.

15:05

Overcoming negativity and pursuing personal growth.

  • The speaker faced negativity in various aspects of life, including marriage, finances, and anxiety.
  • Despite external improvements, the internal negativity persisted, leading to self-criticism and anxiety.
  • A breakthrough occurred while sitting on a deck with a breathtaking view, realizing the importance of being present.
  • The speaker experienced a profound moment of happiness, free from anxiety and stress.
  • Recognizing the need for balance between spiritual quiet time and the busyness of life in cities like Los Angeles, Boston, or New York.
  • Many individuals settle for mediocrity due to fear of pursuing their dreams and the pain associated with change.
  • The speaker shared a personal story of transitioning from a safe corporate job to pursuing a passion despite initial doubts.
  • Encouragement to take small steps daily towards one's dreams to combat the campaign of misery within oneself.
  • An analogy was drawn between actively engaging in self-doubt and creating a cancerous mindset that hinders progress.
  • The importance of shifting from criticizing others to creating, learning, and growing in pursuit of personal goals.

30:22

"Embracing Dreams: Pursuing Aspirations with Intention"

  • The speaker reflects on the realization that campaigns of misery do not alleviate heartache or dreams, emphasizing the need to confront and pursue one's aspirations.
  • Two years ago, the speaker decided to prioritize her podcasting venture, necessitating changes in her commitments and boundaries to fully engage in this new endeavor.
  • The speaker shares her background in radio hosting since 2007 and her desire to return to radio for its intimacy, highlighting the challenge of sharing real-time life experiences in other formats.
  • Loneliness is discussed as a prevalent issue, particularly as people struggle with adult friendships post-quarantine, prompting the speaker to actively combat her own loneliness by reaching out and making plans with friends.
  • The speaker and a guest discuss their personal campaigns of misery, with the guest expressing a desire to return to acting and drama, recounting a recent uncomfortable yet fulfilling acting experience.
  • The distinction between dreams and delusions is explored, with the speaker emphasizing that dreams are personal, directional signals meant to ignite a flame within oneself, guiding individuals towards self-expression and growth.
  • Dreams are viewed as ongoing journeys rather than finite achievements, with the speaker highlighting her podcasting venture as a means to connect deeply with others, foster creativity, and make a lasting impact.
  • Intentionality in starting projects is emphasized as key to consistency, creativity, and happiness, contrasting with a sole focus on results that may lead to dissatisfaction or stagnation.
  • The importance of focusing on impact, connection, and storytelling in creative pursuits is underscored, with the speaker advocating for a deeper understanding of one's motivations to sustain long-term fulfillment.
  • The analogy of being on a suspension bridge is used to illustrate the ongoing nature of personal journeys, encouraging individuals to embrace the process and look beyond immediate outcomes towards long-term growth and fulfillment.

45:09

Life's Journey: Bridges, Hikes, and Identity

  • Every episode is likened to a bridge, with each one leading to another bridge, symbolizing life's continuous journey.
  • Meaning is derived from working intentionally on something significant to you, like planting a garden or going for a hike.
  • The purpose of going for a hike is not just reaching the top but enjoying the journey along the trail.
  • Happiness is about ending internal struggles and allowing oneself to embrace the journey rather than focusing solely on reaching goals.
  • The world is compared to a bridge, emphasizing the importance of crossing over rather than building a permanent residence.
  • Separation anxiety and anxiety, in general, often stem from childhood experiences of feeling disconnected from parents.
  • Childhood experiences can lead to negative thinking patterns that persist into adulthood, impacting behavior and mental health.
  • The importance of separating from parental expectations and beliefs to develop one's own identity and self-worth.
  • Paying your own way can empower you to make decisions and live life on your terms, free from external influences.
  • Girls' confidence often declines during puberty due to societal pressures, body changes, and the public scrutiny of their physical development.

01:00:24

Building Confidence Through Action and Self-Acceptance

  • Confidence is not just belief but also acknowledgment and self-assurance in one's abilities.
  • Self-confidence grows through action and trying new things, not by staying idle.
  • The Confidence Competency Loop emphasizes trying something new, even if mistakes are made, to build confidence.
  • The 60% rule suggests going for something if you feel 60% qualified, as job descriptions are often wish lists.
  • Overcoming self-doubt involves redirecting negative energy towards positive actions.
  • Feeling ahead or behind someone close can stem from insecurity and envy.
  • It's normal to feel envious or resistant to someone else's growth, but it can be a sign of personal reflection.
  • Supporting someone through their growth involves focusing on your own journey and asking leading questions rather than giving advice.
  • Creating space for others to open up about their struggles can help them move past self-doubt.
  • Accepting that people may take different paths in life and may come back at another time is crucial in relationships.

01:16:34

"Drawing Happiness: Transforming Life with Small Wins"

  • Advised a person feeling stuck and miserable to draw a line on a paper and list details of their happy past and current life.
  • Encouraged comparing past and present life details to identify areas for improvement.
  • Stressed that happiness and confidence lie in daily routines and interactions, not grand gestures.
  • Suggested focusing on adding small happy elements from the past into daily life for positive change.
  • Highlighted the importance of acknowledging and appreciating small achievements and efforts.
  • Discussed the significance of celebrating small wins and progress to build momentum.
  • Encouraged sharing insights and discussing episodes like this with others to deepen understanding and growth.
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