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LOVE Expert: When A Man REALLY Loves You, He Will SHOW UP Like This! | Stephan Speaks

André Duqum・90 minutes read

Love is often misunderstood in various relationships, leading to high divorce rates and unsustainable connections; authentic communication and healing are crucial for genuine and lasting bonds, emphasizing self-awareness, acceptance, and the importance of addressing past traumas before entering relationships. Men are encouraged to embrace masculinity, commit to inner work, and choose compatible partners to avoid derailment and foster deep spiritual connections, while women are urged to prioritize holistic health, seek freedom in femininity, and not let societal pressures dictate their choices in relationships.

Insights

  • Authenticity is crucial in relationships to avoid deception and resentment, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and self-acceptance for genuine connections and fulfilling relationships.
  • Healing is essential for individuals to tap into their true selves, live authentically, and foster personal growth, highlighting the significance of addressing past traumas and unresolved issues to prevent defensive behaviors and foster vulnerability in love.

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Recent questions

  • How can relationships be sustained long-term?

    Relationships can be sustained long-term by prioritizing effective communication, authenticity, and self-awareness. It is crucial to avoid sacrificing freedom or pretending to be someone else to impress a partner. Genuine connections based on compatibility and shared values, rather than superficial qualities like wealth or extravagance, are key. Both partners should be willing to address issues, make necessary changes, and engage in regular relationship checkups to prevent resentments from lingering. Understanding oneself, healing past traumas, and embracing vulnerability are essential for building a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

  • What role does healing play in relationships?

    Healing plays a crucial role in relationships as it allows individuals to tap into their true selves and live authentically. By facing past traumas, releasing negative energy, and changing perspectives, individuals can prevent future hurt and defensive behaviors. Healing enables individuals to let go of past hurts, embrace vulnerability, and communicate effectively with their partners. It also helps in attracting those who respect and honor one's true self, leading to genuine connections and fulfilling relationships.

  • Why is authenticity important in relationships?

    Authenticity is crucial in relationships to avoid deception, resentment, and unsustainable connections. Being true to oneself allows for genuine connections based on shared values and mutual respect. Authenticity frees up energy and attracts individuals who align with one's true self, leading to fulfilling relationships. Without authenticity, relationships may be built on false pretenses, which can hinder personal growth and prevent deep emotional connections.

  • How can individuals navigate heartbreak in relationships?

    Heartbreak can be a significant human experience that offers growth and self-reflection. It is essential for individuals to view breakups as learning opportunities and blessings in disguise, redirecting them to better paths or relationships. Reflecting on breakups can reveal the fantasy versus reality of relationships, helping individuals understand themselves better and make healthier choices in the future. Embracing vulnerability, self-reflection, and personal improvement are key aspects of navigating heartbreak and moving forward positively.

  • What is the significance of masculine energy in relationships?

    Masculine energy plays a crucial role in relationships, impacting women's sense of safety and attraction. Men should cultivate healthy masculinity, which involves honesty, open communication, and a deep spiritual connection with their partners. Women are often drawn to masculine energy, but it is important for men to balance this with respect, understanding, and mutual support. By embracing their masculine energy authentically and supporting their partners in tapping into their positive energy, men can foster harmonious relationships where both individuals can flourish and grow together.

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Summary

00:00

Navigating Relationships: Love, Healing, and Authenticity

  • Love is often confused with various types of relationships, such as friendships, family bonds, and work connections.
  • High divorce rates are attributed to the misconception that relationships require sacrificing freedom.
  • Trying to be someone else during the courting phase to impress a partner can lead to unsustainable relationships.
  • Long-term relationships are likely to involve hurt, necessitating effective communication beyond mere arguments.
  • Men often struggle with knowing when to lean into a relationship or let go, impacting their healing process.
  • Healing is crucial for individuals to tap into their true selves and live life to their fullest potential.
  • Trauma bonding can masquerade as genuine affection, leading to unhealthy relationships.
  • Attraction should be based on genuine connection and compatibility, not just infatuation or chemistry.
  • Needing someone in a relationship often stems from fear, lack of self-esteem, and unresolved issues.
  • Embellishing or pretending to be someone else during the courting phase is dangerous and unsustainable in relationships.

14:01

"Authenticity in Relationships: Embracing Self and Others"

  • Impressing someone by pretending to live a lavish lifestyle can lead to deception and resentment.
  • Maintaining a facade of wealth or extravagance can create difficulties when the truth is revealed.
  • Authenticity is crucial in relationships to avoid deception and resentment.
  • Self-awareness and self-acceptance are essential for genuine connections.
  • Relationships serve as mirrors, reflecting aspects of ourselves we may not readily see.
  • Romantic relationships often bring out vulnerability and expose hidden aspects of our personalities.
  • Inner work and self-acceptance are foundational for authentic connections and fulfilling relationships.
  • Wilderness phases, periods of detachment and self-discovery, can lead to personal growth and self-acceptance.
  • Accepting and embracing all parts of oneself leads to clarity in relationships and attracts those who respect and honor our true selves.
  • Authenticity frees up energy and allows for genuine connections with others who align with our values and true selves.

27:26

Healing Walls: Embracing Vulnerability for Growth

  • Healing is crucial to understanding oneself, as past traumas can define one's identity and lead to defensive behaviors.
  • Women, hurt by men, often develop walls of masculine energy as a defense mechanism, believing it defines them.
  • Resolving deeper issues can lead to feeling lighter, softer, and less stressed, as one no longer lives in constant fear.
  • Walls put up for protection can also block blessings, hindering potential relationships and personal growth.
  • Authenticity is challenging with walls up; healing and self-reflection are essential to starting from a strong foundation.
  • Courage is necessary to let go of past hurts and embrace vulnerability in love, despite the risk of potential heartbreak.
  • Healing involves facing past traumas, releasing negative energy, and changing perspectives to prevent future hurt.
  • Communication in relationships is vital; calm, loving discussions or letter writing can help address deep issues effectively.
  • Regular relationship checkups can ensure grievances are aired out promptly, preventing lingering resentments.
  • Knowing when to lean in or let go in a relationship depends on mutual willingness to address issues and make necessary changes.

40:47

Navigating Breakups: Growth, Reflection, and Masculinity

  • Maintaining a friendship post-breakup is valuable, showcasing shared experiences and love.
  • Heartbreak is a significant human experience, offering growth and revelation.
  • Heartbreak can be a learning opportunity, prompting self-reflection and growth.
  • Breakups can be blessings in disguise, leading to personal improvement.
  • Breakups can redirect individuals to better paths or relationships.
  • Reflecting on breakups can reveal the fantasy versus reality of relationships.
  • Understanding the distinction between bad boy energy and healthy masculinity is crucial.
  • Masculine energy is attractive to women, impacting their sense of safety in relationships.
  • Men's lack of masculine energy can hinder their potential and desirability.
  • Commitment in relationships can coexist with personal freedom, requiring mutual respect and understanding.

54:21

"Choosing Compatible Partners for High-Purpose Men"

  • Different women have varying preferences regarding the level of attention they desire from their partners.
  • Men should seek women who align with their desired lifestyle and level of closeness.
  • Men generally fall into two categories: high-achieving go-getters and those seeking a simpler life.
  • Honesty and open communication are crucial in finding a compatible partner.
  • A deep spiritual connection is essential for a man's commitment to a relationship.
  • Inner work is necessary to cultivate a spiritual connection and commitment to a partner.
  • Choosing the right partner is vital for men with high purposes in life to avoid derailment.
  • Communication and journaling about values and desires are crucial for both men and women.
  • Differentiating between wants and needs in a relationship is important for quality and alignment.
  • Paying attention to patterns over potential is crucial in relationships to avoid living in a fantasy.

01:08:12

"True self, clear communication, strong foundation"

  • Encourages women to be true to themselves, emphasizing the importance of finding a partner who aligns with their nature.
  • Acknowledges the conflict that arises when individuals go against their true nature in relationships.
  • Stresses the significance of clear communication and honesty in relationships.
  • Highlights the need for willingness to change and grow in relationships.
  • Emphasizes the importance of complementing, not completing, each other in relationships.
  • Advises against the mindset of needing someone to feel complete, advocating for self-sufficiency.
  • Urges individuals to address unresolved issues before entering relationships.
  • Points out the high divorce rate and the necessity of resolving personal issues before committing to a relationship.
  • Suggests focusing on building a strong foundation before entering relationships.
  • Encourages women feeling pressure to have children to prioritize holistic health and address unresolved trauma before seeking a partner.

01:22:08

Empowering Women Through Support and Love

  • Women can experience true freedom in their femininity when they are not burdened by societal expectations and judgments.
  • Men should support women in tapping into their positive energy and freedom, aligning with their partner's needs and desires.
  • Providing for a woman can alleviate financial stress, allowing her to embrace her feminine role without unnecessary burdens.
  • Pouring into a woman with love and support can lead to reciprocation and a harmonious relationship where both individuals flourish.
  • Healing and self-improvement are essential for personal growth and fulfilling relationships, encouraging individuals to address emotional traumas and issues to live authentically and at their highest potential.
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