How To Get The Guy Expert: Why You Must NEVER PURSUE A Man & The Power Of WALKING AWAY | RC Blakes
Lisa Bilyeu・106 minutes read
Masculine energy pursues feminine energy, leading to potential brokenness if a woman pursues a man, affecting self-worth and relationship dynamics. Healthy submission empowers and creates a balanced dynamic, recognizing the importance of individual growth, honesty, and aligning values for a successful and fulfilling relationship.
Insights
- Pursuing a man can lead to an approval trap, where a woman seeks validation from a man who rejected her, impacting her self-worth.
- Submission should stem from honor and trust, not demand.
- The significance of shared goals in guiding decisions and actions as a couple, fostering unity and clarity.
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Recent questions
How does pursuing a man impact a woman?
Pursuing a man can lead to an approval trap, where a woman seeks validation from a man who rejected her, impacting her self-worth. It can also jeopardize the natural rhythm of a relationship, hindering the man's ability to prove leadership and potentially leading to a lack of motivation in the relationship. This pursuit can result in a woman losing a part of herself and compromising her virtue, potentially leading to brokenness if the man rejects her.
What is the significance of self-respect in relationships?
Self-respect is crucial in any process one chooses to undertake, especially in relationships. It empowers individuals to set boundaries and demand respect from their partners. By prioritizing self-respect, individuals can avoid toxic relationships, attract partners who value them, and maintain a healthy dynamic based on mutual respect and understanding.
How can therapy aid in personal growth and relationship development?
Therapy can help individuals identify the origins of certain behaviors and belief systems that may be affecting their relationships. By addressing past traumas and behaviors, therapy aids in deprogramming negative patterns and establishing new, healthier belief systems. It can also facilitate the process of re-parenting oneself, leading to personal growth, self-awareness, and improved relationship dynamics.
Why is it essential to prioritize character over physical appearance in relationships?
Prioritizing character over physical appearance when seeking a partner emphasizes sustainability in relationships. By focusing on qualities like honesty, respect, and shared values, individuals can build lasting, loving relationships based on mutual understanding and emotional connection. This approach helps avoid toxic relationships and fosters long-term success and fulfillment in partnerships.
How can open communication and understanding foster a healthy relationship?
Open communication and understanding are essential for a successful and lasting relationship. By creating an environment where partners can be honest without fear of judgment, individuals can facilitate healing, emotional growth, and mutual respect. Deep conversations and meaningful interactions help break down emotional barriers, leading to clarity, unity, and satisfaction in the relationship.
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Summary
00:00
"Women's pursuit of men risks self-loss"
- Masculine energy is designed to pursue feminine energy, and when a woman pursues a man, she risks losing a part of herself.
- A woman's feminine soul is not meant to compromise its virtue, leading to potential brokenness if she pursues a man who rejects her.
- Women approach relationships seeking love, while men are often socialized to seek flings or sex, resulting in different desired outcomes.
- Pursuing a man can lead to an approval trap, where a woman seeks validation from a man who rejected her, impacting her self-worth.
- Pursuing a man jeopardizes the natural rhythm of a relationship, hindering the man's ability to prove leadership and potentially leading to a lack of motivation in the relationship.
- A successful relationship requires a balance of leadership, with both partners respecting their roles and allowing the designated leader to lead.
- Individuality is crucial before entering a relationship, as being a fulfilled, healthy, and happy individual is essential before joining with someone else.
- Desperation can lead to attracting the wrong partners who do not respect a woman's value, resulting in a track record of negative relational experiences.
- Women need to awaken to their true worth and value, embracing their Queen Consciousness and understanding the value they bring to a man's life.
- Honesty and understanding the dynamics that work best for a couple are essential for a successful and lasting relationship, with open communication being key.
18:00
Essential self-respect in relationships and submission.
- Self-respect is crucial in any process one chooses to undertake.
- Triggering moments can lead to recognizing truths and facilitating real change.
- Relationships require effort and hard work, similar to careers or businesses.
- A downloadable PDF with essential questions for a successful relationship is available.
- Submission should stem from honor and trust, not demand.
- Submission is a natural response to a man who honors, values, and earns trust.
- Healthy submission empowers and is a beautiful, organic dynamic.
- Manipulation and control indicate toxic relationships, not healthy submission.
- Relationships should be reciprocal in energy and satisfy the soul.
- The absence of paternal participation can lead to a "father wound" affecting women's self-esteem and relationships.
35:52
Healing Trauma, Changing Beliefs: Therapy's Impact
- Starting to re-parent oneself often begins with therapy to address past traumas and behaviors.
- A therapist can help identify the origins of certain behaviors and belief systems.
- Personal experiences can lead to epiphanies, like realizing past abuse.
- Therapy can aid in deprogramming and establishing new belief systems.
- Changing one's social circle is crucial for personal growth.
- The people we surround ourselves with greatly influence our beliefs and behaviors.
- Recognizing toxic patterns in relationships is essential for personal growth.
- Walking away from toxic relationships allows for healing and clarity.
- Lisa's story exemplifies the power of walking away from a relationship that isn't reciprocated.
- Walking away can lead to clarity and the realization of true life partners.
53:21
"Empowering self-respect through healthy boundaries"
- Walking away was crucial for the woman's self-esteem and power.
- Thirstiness is unattractive; hunger for healthy relationships or personal growth is beautiful.
- The woman's decision to walk away led to self-respect over a relationship idea.
- Pursuing a woman respectfully versus chasing her without boundaries was highlighted.
- After an emotionally abusive relationship, the woman swung to the opposite extreme.
- Setting boundaries and demanding respect in relationships is essential.
- Starting with friendship and respect leads to a lasting, loving relationship.
- Self-love, knowing one's purpose, and being patient are vital for attracting the right partner.
- Narcissistic behavior can manipulate individuals into toxic relationships.
- Qualifying people for different levels of access in life is crucial to avoid toxicity.
01:10:31
Prioritize character over physical appearance in relationships.
- Suggests prioritizing character over physical appearance when seeking a partner, emphasizing sustainability in relationships.
- Highlights the impact of poor partner choices on women, leading to immediate consequences due to their feminine nature.
- Discusses the delayed realization of relationship mistakes by men, often occurring later in life.
- Advocates for women to support reformed men by engaging in meaningful conversations and providing a safe space for emotional expression.
- Emphasizes the importance of asking questions to understand a man's soul and foster mutual understanding and honesty.
- Recommends creating moments for deep conversations to break down emotional barriers in men.
- Stresses the significance of creating an environment where men can be honest without fear of judgment, leading to healing and emotional growth.
- Outlines signs that indicate a man's genuine interest in commitment, such as consistency, patience, and respect for the woman's pace.
- Encourages choosing partners based on future compatibility and shared vision, rather than immediate physical attraction.
- Advocates for individual growth and alignment of values in relationships to ensure long-term success and fulfillment.
01:27:27
Navigating Financial Values in Relationships
- Initial clash of values regarding discussing money openly, leading to a deeper understanding of differing perspectives.
- Importance of recognizing conflicting values to avoid unnecessary arguments and focus on underlying value systems.
- Practical advice on financial management: prioritize paying bills, saving rapidly to achieve six months' living expenses, and controlling spending.
- Emphasis on the two levers of financial control: income and expenses, highlighting the need for balance.
- Joint approach to finances, with shared savings and bill contributions based on individual income percentages.
- Discussion on overcoming personal challenges and biases in financial decision-making within a relationship.
- Importance of setting shared goals as a couple to align values and make joint decisions effectively.
- Example of a couple's journey in discussing and aligning goals before making significant life decisions.
- The significance of shared goals in guiding decisions and actions as a couple, fostering unity and clarity.
- Personal experiences and perspectives on disciplining children, contrasting views on spanking and instilling discipline without fear.
01:40:35
Navigating Differences and Communication in Relationships
- Discussion about spanking children, cautioning about the impact on different child personalities and the importance of parental agreement on discipline methods.
- Differences in religious beliefs between partners, with one partner valuing Greek Orthodox traditions and the other being open but not converting.
- Partner's willingness to meet halfway on religious practices, with one partner appreciating the effort without expecting full conversion.
- Importance of communication and respect in handling differences in habits and routines, especially in shared spaces during quarantine.
- Mutual understanding of each other's priorities, like the gym, and the need for clear communication to avoid disrupting routines.
- Importance of acknowledging and rewarding positive habits in a relationship, like boiling the kettle, to prevent them from becoming expectations.
- Open and honest communication about habits and boundaries, using signals or indicators to indicate work mode or personal time.
- Addressing messy habits like leaving clothes on the floor, emphasizing the need for understanding and communication rather than bossing around.
- Implementing systems like the Brazilian restaurant chip system to indicate work or personal time in shared spaces.
- Encouraging open conversations about habits and routines, discussing needs and boundaries to maintain harmony in shared spaces.
01:53:35
Navigating Relationship Cleanliness Standards and Expectations
- In relationships, differing views on cleanliness can lead to clashes of values, where one person prioritizes tidiness while the other sees constant cleaning as unnecessary.
- Compromises can be reached in some clashes of values, but in cases where one's neurological patterns cause anxiety over messiness, no change can occur without significant effort.
- Establishing rules for handling shared spaces, such as dividing closets or agreeing on bed-making preferences, can help manage conflicting cleanliness standards.
- Misunderstandings can arise when actions, like making the bed, are perceived differently by each partner, leading to feelings of disrespect or annoyance.
- Open communication is crucial to understanding each other's perspectives and avoiding unnecessary conflicts over seemingly trivial matters.
- Cultural expectations, like the perception of making the bed as a sign of being a good spouse, can influence individuals' reactions to cleanliness habits within a relationship.
