How To End An Affair With Someone You Love

Marriage Helper16 minutes read

Having an affair while being in love can cause emotional turmoil due to feelings of ecstasy with the lover and guilt from violating marriage vows or religious beliefs. Choosing to end the affair can stem from fears of losing the lover's unique connection, facing family repercussions, and compromising one's identity and values, with various paths like letting someone else decide, leaving current relationships, or ending the affair.

Insights

  • Being in love while having an affair can create emotional turmoil, leading to ecstasy with the lover but also guilt due to violating vows or beliefs.
  • Fear of losing the lover's connection, family, or personal identity can drive contemplation of ending an affair, with paths including letting others decide, leaving for the lover, or ending it but feeling unsure.

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Recent questions

  • How can one navigate the emotional turmoil of being in love with someone while having an affair?

    One must acknowledge the conflicting emotions of ecstasy with the lover and guilt from violating commitments. Understanding the internal struggle and seeking support or guidance can help manage these complex feelings.

  • What are the three main fears that may drive someone to contemplate ending an affair?

    The fears include losing the unique connection with the lover, facing repercussions of infidelity within the family, and compromising one's own identity and values. These fears can create a significant internal conflict.

  • What are the possible paths one can take when considering ending an affair?

    Options include letting someone else decide, leaving current relationships for the lover, or ending the affair but being unsure of the next steps. Each path comes with its own set of consequences and challenges.

  • How can changing beliefs and values to accommodate an affair impact one's future?

    Altering one's beliefs and values to fit the affair can lead to becoming a different person, potentially not for the better. This change can have long-lasting effects on relationships and personal identity.

  • What is the importance of decisively ending an affair and seeking support during the process?

    Ending the affair decisively is crucial to maintain control and prevent prolonged pain for all parties involved. Seeking support from resources like marriagehelper.com or contacting the provided phone number can offer guidance and assistance during this challenging time.

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Summary

00:00

Navigating Love, Affair, and Consequences

  • Being in love with someone while having an affair can lead to emotional turmoil, feeling ecstasy with the lover but also guilt and conflict due to various reasons like violating marriage vows or religious beliefs.
  • Fantasizing about external solutions to end the affair may arise from the internal struggle of wanting out but fearing the consequences of ending the relationship.
  • Three main fears may drive the contemplation of ending the affair: fear of losing the lover and the unique connection, fear of losing the family and facing the repercussions of infidelity, and fear of losing one's own identity and values.
  • Three possible paths from this point include letting someone else make the decision, choosing to leave current relationships for the lover, or deciding to end the affair but unsure how to proceed.
  • Allowing someone else to make decisions can lead to loss of control over one's life, with potential negative consequences like divorce, reputation damage, and social repercussions.
  • Opting to leave current relationships for the lover can irreversibly alter relationships with family, children, and friends, impacting them forever and changing one's own identity and values.
  • Changing beliefs and values to accommodate the affair can lead to becoming a different person, potentially not for the better, and altering the course of one's future in unforeseen ways.
  • Statistics show that relationships formed from affairs often do not lead to lasting happiness, with many regretting the way the relationship began even if they try to make it work.
  • Ending the affair is possible but requires careful consideration and planning, with resources available at marriagehelper.com or through contacting the provided phone number for guidance and support.

14:40

End affair decisively to prevent prolonged pain.

  • When ending an affair, it is crucial to do so decisively and immediately to maintain control and avoid prolonging the pain for all parties involved. Communicate clearly that the relationship is over, either face-to-face or through a letter, and cease all further contact to prevent giving false hope and dragging out the pain for the other person. Additionally, it is essential to inform your spouse about the affair's end, seeking support if needed, to ensure fairness and clarity in the situation.
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