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Fatherhood, Oxford Union and Ukraine | Konstantin Kisin

John Anderson・52 minutes read

Constantine Kisin discusses a variety of societal issues, from parenting choices to political debates, emphasizing the importance of personal growth, positive values, and overcoming fear to achieve happiness and fulfillment. He highlights the need for unity, rational arguments, and resilience in navigating modern challenges and stresses the importance of freedom of speech as a fundamental value in Western societies.

Insights

  • Delaying smartphone use for children until at least age 16 is advocated due to concerns about social media's negative impact on young minds.
  • Stable, committed relationships are deemed essential for personal growth and success, contrasting with the transient nature of modern dating, emphasizing the significance of meaningful connections over superficial interactions.

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Recent questions

  • How does Constantine Kisin plan to approach his son's smartphone use?

    Constantine Kisin plans to delay his son Nikolai's smartphone use until at least age 16 due to concerns about the negative impact of social media. He believes in the importance of effective communication and wants to shield his son from potential harm that excessive smartphone use can bring, emphasizing the need for a balanced and mindful approach to technology in parenting.

  • What does Constantine Kisin believe about women and gender equality?

    Constantine Kisin believes that women are pressured to act against their long-term happiness to maintain gender equality myths. He highlights the challenges women face in balancing societal expectations with personal fulfillment, advocating for a more nuanced and authentic approach to gender equality that considers individual happiness and well-being.

  • How does Constantine Kisin view relationships in the age of social media and dating apps?

    Constantine Kisin warns that social media and dating apps have altered relationships, promoting transactional behavior that does not lead to genuine happiness. He emphasizes the importance of stable, committed relationships for personal growth and success, contrasting them with the transient and shallow connections facilitated by modern technology.

  • What societal trends concern Constantine Kisin regarding depopulation?

    Constantine Kisin warns of a looming depopulation crisis due to societal atomization and loneliness. He highlights the impact of changing relationship dynamics, economic challenges, and delayed family formation on population growth, underscoring the need for meaningful connections and stable relationships to address this pressing issue.

  • How does Constantine Kisin view the role of freedom of speech in society?

    Constantine Kisin sees freedom of speech as a defensive value that provides a fair playing field for ideas to be expressed and debated. He emphasizes the importance of overcoming fear of backlash and expressing opinions authentically, advocating for a positive vision for the future that goes beyond just the ability to speak freely.

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Summary

00:00

"Constantine Kisin on Relationships and Society"

  • The NHS issues in the UK are perpetual, with blame shifting between political parties, but no real solutions are seen.
  • Constantine Kisin, a Russian immigrant in Britain, has written a book and co-hosts the podcast Trigonometry.
  • Constantine recently became a father to Nikolai, which has softened his approach and made him more focused on effective communication.
  • Constantine plans to delay Nikolai's smartphone use until at least age 16 due to concerns about social media's negative impact.
  • Children often seek different things from their parents, with mothers providing warmth and fathers offering excitement.
  • Constantine believes women are pressured to act against their long-term happiness to maintain gender equality myths.
  • Social media and dating apps have altered relationships, encouraging transactional behavior that doesn't lead to happiness.
  • Constantine warns of a looming depopulation crisis due to societal atomization and loneliness.
  • Social media dating apps favor a small group of attractive men, leading to shallow relationships and dissatisfaction for both genders.
  • Stable, committed relationships are crucial for personal growth and success, contrasting with the transient nature of modern dating.

14:29

Challenges and Trends in Western Societies

  • Meeting someone in person can provide a deeper understanding of their personality and relationships compared to social media interactions.
  • Men living alone for extended periods without forming relationships is a growing trend in the West.
  • Video games can offer a false sense of accomplishment, hindering socialization and real-life success.
  • Economic mismanagement in Western economies has led to young people struggling to start on the economic ladder, delaying family formation.
  • The average age for purchasing a first home in the UK is in the mid-30s, impacting family planning and size.
  • The housing issue in the UK is exacerbated by middle-class individuals resisting solutions that may reduce housing prices.
  • Many in the West rely on inheritance for homeownership, leading to unhelpful family dynamics and delayed maturity.
  • The speaker, who grew up in Russia, emphasizes the importance of appreciating the freedoms and prosperity in Western societies.
  • The speaker's impactful speech to young people addressed climate change narratives, emphasizing the need for rational arguments and logic.
  • Trade-offs are inherent in all policies and solutions, requiring careful calibration to avoid unintended consequences, a nuance often overlooked in modern discourse.

29:22

Managing Complexity: Navigating Politics and Fear

  • The speaker discusses the absence of absolute solutions in politics and the need to manage multiple complex issues simultaneously in personal lives and governments.
  • Politics is reduced to crisis-focused discussions, neglecting trade-offs and other significant problems that could overshadow current crises.
  • The speaker expresses frustration at being predominantly featured on conservative shows due to reluctance from others to engage with differing opinions.
  • Fear in society is compared to autocratic regimes like Russia, with the speaker questioning the excessive fear of expressing opinions publicly.
  • The speaker emphasizes the need to overcome fear of social media backlash and not giving undue importance to others' opinions.
  • The discussion shifts to the fear of repercussions in institutions for expressing opinions, highlighting the negative impact of woke corporates.
  • A BBC journalist's lack of curiosity and preparedness in an interview with Elon Musk is criticized, emphasizing the decline in journalistic standards.
  • The speaker reflects on the loss of curiosity in society and the importance of feeding the curiosity of those who still possess it.
  • The division in America during the culture wars is discussed, with a focus on the lack of genuine exchange of ideas and the tribal nature of protests.
  • The speaker highlights the need for unity between conservatives and old-school liberals in addressing progressive ideas in America, emphasizing the importance of positive stances rather than just fighting battles for points.

44:20

"Values, Vision, and Resilience for Success"

  • Freedom of speech is seen as a defensive value, providing a fair playing field for ideas.
  • The importance of having a positive vision for the future is emphasized, beyond just achieving free speech.
  • Encouraging people to think about what they want to say and believe in, once they have the freedom to speak.
  • The need for an invitational approach to offer people meaning, fulfillment, and purpose.
  • Emphasizing the importance of resilience over victimhood in achieving happiness and fulfillment.
  • Discussion on the values of Western societies in offering opportunities for success, freedom, and prosperity.
  • The importance of Ukraine focusing on long-term security through NATO membership or a UN peacekeeping force.
  • Personal growth and being a positive example are highlighted as crucial for ensuring a secure and good life for one's child.
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