DO THESE 6 Things To Get Him ADDICTED To You Forever! | Matthew Hussey
Lewis Howes・86 minutes read
People often lack a healthy perspective on long-term relationships, and a single quality may attract someone but won't sustain a relationship. Matthew Hussey offers steps to thrive in relationships, emphasizing that both partners need to work towards a high standard and communicate needs and expectations clearly.
Insights
- Empathy is crucial for maintaining healthy long-term relationships, as a lack of it can lead to misunderstandings and emotional distance.
- Building a successful relationship requires continuous effort and a focus on everyday gestures rather than just initial attraction.
- Balancing strengths and qualities in a relationship is essential for creating a unique and fulfilling connection that enhances personal growth and mutual understanding.
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Recent questions
How can I initiate contact with someone I'm interested in?
By asking for a simple favor or starting a guessing game.
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Summary
00:00
"Matthew Hussey: Navigating Relationships with Insight"
- People often lack a healthy perspective on long-term relationships, especially when empathy is lacking from a partner.
- A single quality may attract someone, but it won't sustain a relationship in the long run.
- Matthew Hussey offers steps to thrive in relationships, despite being young and single himself.
- Hussey emphasizes that being a man doesn't automatically grant him credibility to speak for all men.
- He started coaching women based on insights gained from coaching thousands of men.
- Hussey challenges the notion that men should always make the first move in dating scenarios.
- Women can drop the "handkerchief" by asking for a simple favor, tapping into men's instincts to provide and protect.
- Another tactic is to engage men in a guessing game about people's professions, creating a fun and easy conversation starter.
- After initiating contact, it's crucial not to linger too long, as it can make the other person uncomfortable.
- Recreating space after initial contact allows for observation, interest to develop, and a chance for the other person to engage further.
13:35
"Choosing, Space, and Communication in Relationships"
- Women need to feel chosen in a relationship, not just randomly selecting from available options.
- Giving space in a relationship allows the other person to choose you, fostering confidence in the process.
- Reacting to hurt or unmet expectations in a relationship can be challenging.
- Some individuals need space to process before addressing issues to avoid reacting negatively.
- Real-time communication can lead to reflex responses that may harm a relationship.
- Overcoming instinctual reactions in relationships is crucial for emotional intelligence.
- Building a relationship is compared to constructing a castle, requiring consistent effort from both parties.
- Many people prioritize the initial connection in a relationship over the ongoing effort required to build it.
- Love at first sight is viewed as infatuation, with true relationships requiring continuous investment and effort.
- Focusing on the small, everyday aspects of a relationship, like the "trash cans," is what truly defines its success.
29:46
"Relationships: Love, Happiness, and Communication"
- The importance of small, everyday gestures in relationships, such as supporting a partner silently or privately, determines the quality of life.
- Being in love does not guarantee happiness; one can be in love but still experience constant anxiety, heartache, and pain in a relationship.
- Prioritizing happiness over love is crucial, as a relationship should involve building together and committing to mutual growth.
- Building a relationship requires both partners to work towards a high standard and communicate their needs and expectations clearly.
- Compromise and sacrifice play a role in relationships, where certain things may become less important over time while others remain crucial.
- Effective communication, empathy, and the ability to resolve conflicts lovingly become more important as relationships progress.
- Living together during quarantine can reveal new aspects of a partner, either positive or challenging, and may test the strength of the relationship.
- Creating space, both physically and emotionally, is essential in maintaining intimacy and desire in a relationship, especially during times of confinement.
- Communicating the need for space in a loving and respectful manner is crucial to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
- Setting aside dedicated quality time with a partner and balancing it with personal time can help maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship dynamic.
45:06
"Balancing Qualities for Fulfilling Relationships"
- Quality time is emphasized over quantity in relationships, focusing on engagement and meaningful interactions.
- Both men and women can experience insecurities in relationships, influenced by differing levels of busyness and purpose.
- Social media comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy, as highlight reels don't reflect the full spectrum of emotions experienced.
- Entitlement in dating can hinder personal growth and effort in relationships, expecting love without effort.
- Over-reliance on a single strength, like ambition, can lead to imbalance and lack of attractiveness in relationships.
- Balancing strengths with other qualities creates a unique pairing that enhances attractiveness and connection.
- A combination of traits, like being cocky yet gentlemanly, can create a compelling and addictive attraction.
- Developing a range of qualities rather than over-relying on one trait can lead to more fulfilling and dynamic relationships.
- Understanding the importance of diverse qualities and behaviors in relationships can enhance personal growth and connection.
- Striving for a unique pairing of qualities can lead to deeper connections and more fulfilling relationships.
01:00:11
Navigating Relationships: Love, Desire, and Growth
- Being seductive is a skill some excel at, but it doesn't always translate to a meaningful connection.
- Unique pairings in relationships can make it hard to move on from an ex.
- The fear of losing someone with unique qualities makes them more desirable.
- The divorce rate is high, with many people having fears about long-term commitment.
- There is less stigma around divorce now than in the past.
- Entitlement and unrealistic expectations contribute to relationship issues.
- Love and desire are both essential for a successful relationship.
- Spending time apart can create mystery and desire in a relationship.
- Understanding and meeting your partner's needs is crucial for a healthy relationship.
- Working on personal growth and fulfillment is key to being a good partner.
01:14:30
Relationship Success: Creativity, Care, and Growth
- Binge-watching a series may indicate a weakness in a relationship if one cannot answer what they would do with their time otherwise.
- It is essential to have a purpose or goal, whether grand or simple, to engage in rather than waiting for a partner to make one feel good.
- Vulnerability is crucial in relationships, but constantly seeking validation or expecting a partner to fix insecurities can be burdensome.
- Partners should share responsibilities and work together, but it is not their job to solve all problems or constantly provide reassurance.
- Being a genuine team in a relationship involves supporting each other, taking turns in leading or supporting roles, and understanding that both partners need to contribute equally.
- The stages of a relationship include admiration, connection, commitment, and compatibility, with all four stages being necessary for a successful match.
- Personal growth, creativity, and caring are vital in relationships, with both partners needing to be creative and caring towards each other's needs.
- Indirect actions, such as reducing workload or engaging in new activities, can have a significant impact on one's dating life by increasing energy and creating opportunities to meet new people.
- Taking time away from routine activities and immersing oneself in new experiences can spark creativity and prevent stagnation in both business and relationships.
- Creativity and caring are key elements in successful relationships, with both partners needing to be creative in their approach to dating and attentive to each other's needs.
01:30:19
"Exploring new activities boosts creativity and relationships"
- Trying new activities can positively impact relationships by engaging different parts of the brain, leading to a fresh perspective and renewed creativity.
- Focusing solely on one aspect of life, like work, can limit creativity and personal growth, highlighting the importance of exploring diverse interests.
- Encouraging new experiences, even small changes, can significantly benefit mental health, relationships, and overall creativity, offering valuable perspectives and insights.
