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Derek Sivers — Finding Paths Less Traveled, Taking Giant Leaps, and Picking the Right “Game of Life”

Tim Ferriss・146 minutes read

Derek Sivers highlights the importance of minimalism, self-reliance, and independence from cloud services. Tim Ferriss and Derek Sivers discuss personal growth, mentorship, gaming addiction, and the pursuit of personal fulfillment over external recognition.

Insights

  • Derek Sivers practices minimalism with only three glasses in his kitchen and focuses on sufficiency, avoiding unnecessary possessions.
  • Derek Sivers embodies the idea of having enough and not buying unnecessary items, highlighting the benefits of minimalism and simplicity.
  • Tim Ferriss and Derek Sivers discuss the importance of tech independence, advocating for control over personal data and security.
  • Derek Sivers shares personal experiences of challenging societal norms and prioritizing personal growth, emphasizing the value of self-awareness and constant self-doubt.
  • Sivers emphasizes the significance of understanding that beliefs, rules, and norms are not universally true, encouraging individuals to create their own rules for personal empowerment.
  • Derek Sivers reflects on the complexity of advising one's younger self, highlighting the importance of offering guidance to others aspiring to reach similar positions.

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Recent questions

  • What is minimalism?

    Minimalism is a lifestyle focused on having just enough and avoiding unnecessary possessions. It involves simplifying one's life by decluttering and prioritizing essential items over excess belongings. Minimalists aim to reduce distractions and prioritize what truly adds value to their lives, emphasizing sufficiency and intentional living.

  • How can one achieve tech independence?

    Tech independence can be achieved by setting up personal servers for data storage and communication, reducing reliance on cloud services. By using tools like OpenBSD, SSH, and encryption, individuals can secure their data and maintain control over their information. Setting up servers in different locations for backup and security, syncing contacts and calendars, and using secure file synchronization tools like Rsync or Syncthing.net are steps towards tech independence.

  • What are the benefits of having a personal server?

    Having a personal server provides control, security, and privacy over your data, avoiding dependence on third-party cloud services. It allows individuals to store sensitive information securely, sync contacts and calendars, and automate file synchronization. By setting up multiple servers in different locations for backup and security, one can ensure data protection and autonomy in managing their digital assets.

  • How can one transition from Gmail to a personal domain for email?

    Transitioning from Gmail to a personal domain for email involves choosing email hosting services like Mailbox.org or Fastmail.com for a premium client. Alternatively, hosting email on a personal server is a more advanced option for those seeking complete control over their email data. By starting with email migration, individuals can take the first step towards gaining independence online and ensuring data privacy.

  • What is the concept of satisficing?

    Satisficing is the idea of accepting what is good enough rather than constantly seeking the best option. It involves making decisions based on achieving satisfactory outcomes rather than optimizing for perfection. By embracing satisficing, individuals can reduce decision-making stress, avoid overthinking choices, and focus on accepting adequate solutions rather than endlessly pursuing the ideal outcome.

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Summary

00:00

"Minimalist Derek Sivers Embraces Sufficiency"

  • Tim Ferriss and Derek Sivers share Scotch and Go Go Goa Black tea.
  • Derek Sivers has only three glasses in his kitchen, practicing minimalism.
  • Derek Sivers emphasizes having enough and not buying unnecessary items.
  • Derek Sivers owns only three glasses and a pair of pants, focusing on sufficiency.
  • Derek Sivers embodies minimalism with his limited possessions.
  • Tim Ferriss discusses the concept of quality versus quantity in possessions.
  • Derek Sivers shares a scuba diving experience in Iceland.
  • Derek Sivers initially panics during scuba diving but overcomes it with the instructor's help.
  • Derek Sivers assists a distressed German girl during a scuba diving session.
  • Derek Sivers reflects on his panic attack and the involuntary nature of certain experiences.

12:01

Unexpected Categories: Embracing Change and Identity

  • People can find themselves in unexpected categories, like being a hero or a millionaire, which they never thought they would be.
  • Positive categories can also be involuntary, and one can step into these roles by imitating others.
  • Labels applied to oneself can be limiting and fragile, affecting resilience and adaptability to change.
  • Admitting that identities can change and expire, requiring active effort to maintain them.
  • Identifying oneself based on values and heroes can lead to a shift in identity, like transitioning from an entrepreneur to an author.
  • Choosing a business based on serving people you admire can lead to greater happiness, even if it means making less money.
  • Being an entrepreneur can be a vehicle for being around people you love, even if it doesn't pay.
  • Having a passion project, like setting up legacy personal websites, can be pursued even if it doesn't bring financial gain.
  • Tech independence and programming can empower individuals to escape the cloud and achieve greater autonomy.
  • The setting of Wellington, New Zealand, is reminiscent of Northern California, sparking nostalgic feelings.

24:35

"Tech Independence: Setting Up Personal Server"

  • Derek Sivers and Tim Ferriss discuss the importance of refining answers and recommendations after initial conversations.
  • Derek Sivers shares his personal choice of not using the cloud due to privacy concerns.
  • Tim Ferriss expresses discomfort with using the cloud but feels there are no feasible alternatives.
  • Derek Sivers emphasizes the benefits of tech independence, including security, privacy, and control.
  • A cautionary tale is shared about a tech entrepreneur losing all his child's photos due to a cloud mishap.
  • Derek Sivers recommends setting up a personal server for tech independence, costing as low as $5 a month.
  • Three options for setting up a server are detailed: vultr.com cloud compute, a cheap dedicated server, or an old Lenovo ThinkPad.
  • Instructions are provided for setting up a server using OpenBSD, SSH, and encryption for security.
  • The process involves generating private and public SSH keys, uploading the public key to the server, and disabling password logins.
  • The use of private keys for secure server access is likened to a game of Marco Polo, ensuring heightened security against hacking attempts.

35:49

Enhancing Security and Independence with Private Servers

  • Phones use public/private key encryption behind the scenes for security.
  • Tim Ferriss suggests upgrading from a four-digit to an eight-digit phone password in settings.
  • Derek Sivers recommends BookMyName.com for domain registration and mentions NETIM.com and Porkbun.com as alternatives.
  • Having your own server provides control and security, avoiding reliance on cloud services.
  • Setting up a CardDAV and CalDAV server using Radicale.org allows syncing contacts and calendars to your server.
  • Rsync is a simple tool for synchronizing files between your computer and server.
  • Syncthing.net is a free alternative to Dropbox for automatic file synchronization.
  • Cloning your server for extra security involves setting up another server with a different company in a different country.
  • Derek Sivers emphasizes self-reliance and independence from cloud services for storing sensitive information.
  • He recommends setting up multiple servers in different locations for data backup and security, with a delay between them for added protection.

46:48

"Mastering HTML for website creation in hours"

  • Learning HTML to create a website can be achieved in an hour.
  • WordPress, while versatile, may be overly complex for basic website needs.
  • Simplifying website creation to plain text files with HTML can be more manageable.
  • Starting with a static HTML webpage is a good initial step in website creation.
  • Transitioning from Gmail to a personal domain for email is recommended.
  • Mailbox.org in Germany offers a simple email hosting option for $1 a month.
  • Fastmail.com provides a premium email client for $5 a month.
  • Hosting your email on your own server is a more advanced but feasible option.
  • Expecting businesses to fail, it's crucial to have control over your online presence.
  • Starting with transitioning email off Gmail is a manageable first step in gaining independence online.

58:02

"Rails, Shopify, London: Lessons in Life"

  • Tobi offered to teach Rails for $100 for an hour over the phone, which the speaker accepted.
  • The speaker was introduced to Rails by Tobi and subsequently transitioned his company, CD Baby, to Rails.
  • Tobi later requested an introduction to Tim Ferriss for an e-commerce venture, which the speaker declined.
  • Tobi's e-commerce venture turned out to be Shopify, a successful platform.
  • The speaker and Tim Ferriss met at RailsConf, where they connected in the green room.
  • The speaker and Tobi joked about the missed introduction to Tim Ferriss.
  • The speaker's son led a day in London, opting for spontaneous exploration over planned activities.
  • The speaker's son had memorable experiences in London, including wearing a cardboard box as a shell.
  • The speaker's son chose a spontaneous day in London as his favorite experience, emphasizing the value of unoptimized experiences.
  • The speaker discussed the concept of satisficing over maximizing, highlighting the importance of not optimizing everything in life.

01:09:24

"Empowerment through questioning beliefs and rules"

  • Derek Sivers hadn't showered since the previous day due to feeling greasy and distracted.
  • Tim Ferriss discusses the importance of making fast, reversible decisions, especially with money.
  • Derek Sivers emphasizes the significance of completing tasks rather than striving for perfection.
  • Sivers mentions the importance of releasing work when it's good enough, avoiding perfectionism.
  • The concept of "Useful Not True" is introduced, focusing on skepticism and radical doubt.
  • Sivers explains the four principles of "Useful Not True," including the subjective nature of truth.
  • Sivers illustrates how beliefs are placebos and can be chosen to empower oneself.
  • The idea that rules and norms are arbitrary games is discussed, highlighting the advantage of realizing their subjectivity.
  • Sivers shares examples of how societal rules are not absolute truths, encouraging individuals to create their own rules.
  • The importance of understanding that beliefs, rules, and norms are not universally true is emphasized for personal empowerment.

01:21:19

Navigating Societal Norms and Moral Compass

  • Derek Sivers discusses the importance of understanding that teaching skills does not equate to endorsing harmful behavior, using examples like flying a plane into a building or driving a car into a crowd.
  • Sivers recounts a risque story from Oslo, Norway, where he and a woman he met decided to get a hotel room for a few hours despite her recent breakup.
  • The woman hesitates due to societal judgment and decides to meet Sivers in the hotel room after he checks in alone.
  • Sivers reflects on the liberating experience of breaking societal norms without causing harm or breaking the law.
  • Tim Ferriss mentions a piece about not disappointing oneself and the importance of societal norms in determining right and wrong.
  • Sivers explains that societal norms vary globally and individuals can choose to adhere to or reject them based on personal beliefs.
  • The conversation shifts to moral relativism and the need for a consistent moral compass despite cultural differences.
  • Sivers recommends Sam Harris' work on moral objectivity and individual well-being as a basis for moral judgment.
  • Ferriss discusses the tension between living an unorthodox life and maintaining a moral compass, expressing envy for those with clear religious guidelines.
  • Sivers emphasizes the congruence and peace brought by aligning government and religious laws, while personally prioritizing actions for the greater good even if they don't benefit him directly.

01:33:14

"Balancing Gut Feelings and Critical Thinking"

  • Derek Sivers discusses the importance of gut feelings in decision-making, emphasizing the balance between personal desires and the greater good.
  • Sivers highlights the issue of subscribing to -isms and ideologies, cautioning against blind adherence to self-help books or movements.
  • The conversation delves into the concept of -isms, with examples like Stoicism, religion, CrossFit, veganism, and crypto, illustrating the dangers of all-or-nothing thinking.
  • An anecdote about a negative encounter with a reader of "The 4-Hour Workweek" showcases the pitfalls of dismissing an entire work based on one disagreement.
  • The discussion touches on the mindset of wanting everything to be a religion, simplifying reality and avoiding critical thinking.
  • Tim Ferriss emphasizes the importance of avoiding labels and ideologies, advocating for open-mindedness and thoughtful consideration of ideas.
  • Sonja Lyubomirsky's research on happiness is mentioned, highlighting the idea that 50% of happiness is within one's control, encouraging individuals to focus on what they can change.
  • Sivers reveals his journey towards Stoicism, initially dismissing it before realizing its alignment with his long-held beliefs.
  • The conversation explores the dangers of blindly adopting -isms and the importance of self-awareness in trying on different beliefs without rigidly defining oneself.
  • Sivers discusses his practice of questioning disempowering beliefs through writing, likening it to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and highlighting the importance of constant self-doubt and critical thinking.

01:45:26

Belief Stacking: Empowerment Through Evidence and Action

  • Derek Sivers emphasizes the importance of stacking up evidence to support a belief that empowers you, starting with writing in a diary.
  • Social interaction with friends can provide additional evidence and support for the belief you want to adopt.
  • Taking small or big actions before fully internalizing a new belief can help in reinforcing it.
  • Tim Ferriss suggests the concept of "Fake it before you make it" or acting as if you believe something before you actually do.
  • Derek Sivers shares personal experiences of taking actions to support new beliefs, like signing up for college before fully convincing himself.
  • Derek Sivers recounts renouncing his US citizenship in 2011 as a significant leap to challenge himself and avoid retreating to comfort.
  • Despite the initial regret, Derek Sivers explains the challenges and consequences of renouncing US citizenship, advising against it due to reduced options and potential difficulties.
  • Derek Sivers narrates a challenging visa situation post-renouncing citizenship, highlighting the importance of evidence and persistence in such cases.
  • Derek Sivers reflects on the value of holding multiple beliefs simultaneously and choosing the one that aligns with your values and goals.
  • Derek Sivers describes the pivotal moment of deciding to sell his company after feeling done with it, influenced by a friend challenging his thoughts and beliefs.

01:56:48

"Seeking Mentorship: Predicting Responses for Growth"

  • Derek Sivers values personal growth and is transitioning to new opportunities after 10 years of focusing on personal growth.
  • Sivers suggests having mentors and details his approach to seeking their help.
  • He writes a concise description of his dilemma before reaching out to mentors to avoid wasting their time.
  • Sivers summarizes the context, problem, options, and thoughts in half a page with bullet points.
  • He predicts what his mentors would say and addresses those points in advance to not waste their time.
  • Sivers emphasizes the importance of predicting and addressing potential responses from mentors.
  • Sivers reveals he hasn't spoken to his mentors in years, with one not even aware of his existence.
  • He advises people seeking mentors to internalize their situation and think from another person's perspective.
  • Tim Ferriss shares his similar approach of seeking advice from people he admires and aspires to be like.
  • Sivers and Ferriss discuss the importance of clarity in seeking mentorship and the value of thoughtful questions.

02:09:00

"Retire Early, Pursue Passion, Find Success"

  • No Bullshit Games recommended that require a one-time payment of around $9 for unlimited access.
  • Stardew Valley is highlighted as a highly engaging game, with one player investing 400 hours into it.
  • The player completed all tasks in the game but felt compelled to continue playing despite no new rewards.
  • The concept of addiction is discussed in relation to continuing a behavior without rewards.
  • Making money is likened to a game that one can choose to stop playing once satisfied.
  • Examples of individuals who quit at the peak of their careers are shared, like Gotye, Jacinda Ardern, Serena Williams, and Cameron Diaz.
  • Felix Dennis's book "How to Get Rich" is mentioned, emphasizing the idea of retiring early to pursue personal passions.
  • Derek Sivers shares his personal experience of selling his company and taking inspiration from Dennis's advice to retire early.
  • Sivers reflects on the concept of success being personal and not reliant on external validation.
  • Tim Ferriss and Derek Sivers discuss Sivers's desire for fame in his youth and his shift towards prioritizing personal fulfillment over external recognition.

02:22:17

Embrace change for a fuller, happier life.

  • People often continue playing the same game they have succeeded in, even if they no longer have the same passion for it, due to a fear of change.
  • There is a category of people who need to be pushed out of their comfort zones to experience a fuller life by trying new things.
  • It is believed that individuals should be encouraged to explore different perspectives and experiences to avoid stagnation.
  • Kurt Cobain's death was particularly impactful as he seemed to have more to offer but felt trapped in his current situation.
  • Encouraging individuals who feel stuck to try new environments or activities to broaden their horizons is essential.
  • Finding contentment in simpler tasks or roles, like manual labor, can bring peace and fulfillment.
  • The concept of being a "satisficer" involves learning to accept what is good enough rather than constantly seeking the best option.
  • The book "Paradox of Choice" influenced a shift towards being a satisficer, leading to quicker decision-making and reduced stress.
  • Overthinking decisions, like choosing where to live, can lead to unnecessary stress and wasted time.
  • Designing for extreme cases can often lead to better outcomes than designing for the average person, as seen in various domains.

02:33:55

Insights on Advice and Personal Growth

  • The author of "How to Get Rich" was worth 600 million when he wrote the book, sharing his extreme case.
  • The book provides insights into extreme situations and decision-making processes, offering valuable lessons for readers.
  • Derek Sivers discusses the question of advising one's younger self and its true meaning.
  • Sivers reflects on his past beliefs about women and sex, highlighting a significant personal realization.
  • The real question behind advising one's younger self is about offering guidance to others aspiring to reach a similar position.
  • Tim Ferriss emphasizes the importance of understanding the assumptions behind seeking advice on achieving a specific goal.
  • The conversation delves into the complexity of interpreting and answering questions about advice and personal growth.
  • Sivers uses a metaphor of geographical directions to illustrate the complexity of answering broad questions.
  • The discussion shifts to a humorous anecdote about a 16-year-old trying to mimic the behavior of his peers.
  • The conversation takes an emotional turn as Sivers discusses the profound impact of parenting and the generational influence of raising children well.

02:45:44

Global Connections: Speaker's Journey of Connection

  • The speaker traveled to Chennai and Bangalore for 10 days, engaging in one- to two-hour-long conversations with 50 individuals, many of whom had reached out to him after reading his articles, books, or hearing his podcasts over the years.
  • During a trip to Helsinki, Finland, the speaker connected with people who had previously introduced themselves via email, leading to unexpected and rewarding encounters, such as sitting in a sauna with someone who had read his book.
  • The speaker values personal connections and appreciates when individuals introduce themselves without any ulterior motives, emphasizing the joy of feeling connected with people worldwide, encouraging listeners to reach out via his website sive.rs to introduce themselves.
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