BREAK The Cycle Of Self Sabotage & STOP Your Shame Spiral | La La Anthony

Jay Shetty Podcast67 minutes read

The speaker reflects on their competitive upbringing, divorce, and career in Hollywood, highlighting the importance of self-compassion and support from friends and mentors. They stress the need for self-care, learning from past experiences, and prioritizing personal well-being, while navigating personal growth, relationships, and life transitions with kindness and resilience.

Insights

  • Self-compassion and reflection on difficult experiences are vital for healing, with an emphasis on acknowledging feelings of abandonment and not feeling good enough.
  • Balancing personal and professional life, prioritizing self-care, and overcoming fear and guilt are crucial in avoiding burnout and finding a healthy life balance.

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Recent questions

  • How does the speaker view success and emotional struggles?

    The speaker highlights the misconception that success shields one from emotional struggles, emphasizing the importance of reflecting on difficult experiences and practicing self-compassion.

  • What advice does the speaker give on balancing personal and professional life?

    The speaker discusses the importance of balancing personal and professional life to avoid neglecting relationships, overcoming guilt associated with taking time off work, and recognizing the need for self-care to find a balance in life.

  • What does the speaker emphasize about self-love and acceptance post-divorce?

    The speaker stresses the importance of self-love and acceptance post-divorce, encouraging individuals to speak kindly to themselves, acknowledge personal growth, and resilience, and not blame themselves for life's challenges.

  • How does the speaker approach feedback and criticism?

    The speaker acknowledges the challenge of balancing feedback and criticism, opting to consider constructive feedback while filtering out negativity. He prioritizes his mental well-being by not delving too deeply into negative comments and focusing on genuine moments of appreciation.

  • What drives the speaker's passion for prison reform work?

    Personal experiences and empathy drive the speaker's passion for prison reform work, as they understand the impact of lack of support on families and individuals. Witnessing individuals reintegrate into society successfully after incarceration through love, support, and a changed environment is inspiring and fulfilling.

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Summary

00:00

Navigating Life's Challenges with Resilience and Support

  • The speaker grew up in a competitive environment, emphasizing hard work over talent.
  • A job opportunity is discussed, highlighting the speaker's emergence in Hollywood.
  • The speaker reflects on their marriage falling apart, emphasizing the unexpected nature of divorce.
  • The audience is invited to join a community for more interviews and support.
  • The speaker acknowledges the support received from a bestselling author and podcast host.
  • Reflecting on difficult experiences is encouraged, with an example from the speaker's mother.
  • Healing is described as messy, with no set time limit, and the importance of being kind to oneself is stressed.
  • The speaker discusses feelings of abandonment and not feeling good enough, emphasizing the need for self-compassion.
  • The speaker highlights the misconception that success shields one from emotional struggles.
  • Strong friendships are valued, with an emphasis on being open and vulnerable with friends during challenging times.

12:39

"Self-care, growth, and balance in relationships"

  • A friend's advice during a divorce: "This isn't your fault."
  • Importance of not blaming oneself but taking accountability for personal growth.
  • Learning from experiences to avoid repeating mistakes in future relationships.
  • Balancing personal and professional life to avoid neglecting relationships.
  • Overcoming guilt associated with taking time off work or going on vacation.
  • Fear and competitive upbringing leading to overworking and burnout.
  • Recognizing the need for self-care and finding a balance in life.
  • Significance of giving oneself permission to prioritize personal well-being.
  • Unconditional love and patience learned through parenting.
  • The debate on whether children should be considered best friends by parents.

25:00

Will Smith prioritizes kindness and ambition

  • Will Smith values hearing that his child is kind, humble, and well-mannered above any accolades or recognition.
  • He remains driven and ambitious, always seeking his next endeavor and working hard to avoid returning to a place of lack.
  • Smith is heavily involved in acting, producing, and his prison reform charity, focusing on giving back and creating opportunities.
  • Producing allows Smith to bring projects he loves to life, giving him control and the ability to create jobs for others.
  • Acting, while providing steady work, involves waiting for opportunities and facing rejection, which Smith has learned to handle with grace and understanding.
  • Smith reflects on a failed TV show pitch that led to valuable friendships, learning experiences, and ultimately, the creation of his podcast, book, and tour.
  • Overcoming the fear of not being liked by everyone, Smith emphasizes celebrating those who support and love him rather than focusing on critics.
  • Both Smith and his interviewer discuss the importance of accepting and internalizing positive feedback, rather than dismissing it as insincere.
  • Smith acknowledges the challenge of balancing feedback and criticism, opting to consider constructive feedback while filtering out negativity.
  • While Smith occasionally checks criticism, he prioritizes his mental well-being by not delving too deeply into negative comments and focusing on genuine moments of appreciation.

37:33

Navigating Love, Support, and Personal Growth

  • Many individuals struggle with understanding love due to lack of experience growing up, leading them to gravitate towards negative emotions like hate and feeling unworthy.
  • Changing negative thoughts into positive ones is crucial in altering individuals' perspectives on love and self-worth.
  • The key to success in prison reform work lies in changing the environment and showing love and support to individuals.
  • Initiating conversations about love, compassion, and empathy with incarcerated individuals requires authenticity and genuine care.
  • Genuine conversations and expressions of love can break down barriers and help individuals open up to change and support.
  • Personal experiences and empathy drive the speaker's passion for prison reform work, as they understand the impact of lack of support on families and individuals.
  • Witnessing individuals reintegrate into society successfully after incarceration through love, support, and a changed environment is inspiring and fulfilling.
  • Collaboration with organizations like Reform Alliance is essential in navigating the challenges of prison reform work and ensuring support and guidance.
  • The speaker's humor and enjoyment of life are aspects not widely known, emphasizing the importance of living in the moment and embracing life's transitions.
  • Transitioning in the public eye after significant life changes can be challenging due to external opinions and narratives, highlighting the complexities of personal growth and change.

50:36

Navigating Divorce: Embracing Change and Self-Care

  • Lack of preparation for divorce is highlighted, with a focus on emotional unpreparedness and the absence of tools for coping.
  • Life post-divorce is described as different, with the speaker adjusting to a new normal of single parenthood and shared custody.
  • Co-parenting is emphasized as crucial for the child's well-being, with the importance of maintaining a supportive environment highlighted.
  • Traditional family setups are questioned, with an emphasis on the need to redefine what constitutes a successful relationship or family dynamic.
  • Self-love and acceptance post-divorce are discussed, with a focus on speaking kindly to oneself and acknowledging personal growth and resilience.
  • The speaker's evolving perspective on love and marriage post-divorce is shared, emphasizing the importance of aligning with someone who brings happiness and authenticity.
  • The significance of self-care, patience, and self-love is underscored, with a reminder not to blame oneself for life's challenges.
  • Encouragement is given to listeners to share and reflect on the discussed topics, emphasizing the importance of feeling seen, heard, and understood in difficult times.
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