7 Underrated Habits for a Better Life (and 7 Overrated Habits Too)

Mark Manson・2 minutes read

The host discusses various topics like self-care, friendship, and therapy, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and finding quality therapists for personal growth. The episode concludes with a focus on the benefits of using listening.com for convenient learning and catching up on research while on the go.

Insights

  • The host emphasizes the value of motivation and direction in setting goals rather than achieving them, highlighting the significance of the journey over the destination.
  • Therapist-client fit is crucial for successful therapy outcomes, with the therapist's empathy, listening skills, and ability to ask useful questions playing a pivotal role, emphasizing the importance of finding the right therapist through trial and error.

Get key ideas from YouTube videos. It’s free

Recent questions

  • What is the importance of setting boundaries in self-care?

    Boundaries in self-care are crucial for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. By setting limits on what is acceptable in terms of interactions, activities, and commitments, individuals can protect their energy and prioritize their needs. Boundaries help prevent burnout, resentment, and overwhelm by ensuring that personal limits are respected and honored. They allow individuals to establish a sense of control over their lives and create space for self-nurturing practices. Setting boundaries in self-care is about valuing oneself enough to say no to things that do not align with personal values or goals, ultimately fostering a healthier relationship with oneself and others.

  • How can one differentiate self-discipline from self-love?

    Self-discipline and self-love are interconnected concepts that play a significant role in personal growth and well-being. Self-discipline involves the ability to control impulses, stay focused on goals, and take consistent action towards desired outcomes. It often requires doing things that are beneficial in the long run, even if they are not immediately enjoyable. On the other hand, self-love involves treating oneself with kindness, compassion, and respect. It is about recognizing one's worth, prioritizing self-care, and setting healthy boundaries. While self-discipline focuses on taking action, self-love emphasizes nurturing oneself emotionally and mentally. Both self-discipline and self-love are essential components of a balanced and fulfilling life, working together to support personal development and overall happiness.

  • Why are adult friendships considered underrated for mental health?

    Adult friendships are often undervalued in society, yet they play a crucial role in maintaining mental health and overall well-being. Unlike romantic relationships, friendships provide a different kind of support system that is based on companionship, shared interests, and emotional connection. Adult friendships offer a sense of belonging, reduce feelings of loneliness, and provide opportunities for social interaction and personal growth. Having strong friendships can boost self-esteem, reduce stress, and improve mental resilience in challenging times. Cultivating adult friendships allows individuals to feel understood, supported, and accepted for who they are, contributing positively to their mental health and quality of life.

  • What factors contribute to the success of therapy?

    The success of therapy is influenced by various factors, including the quality of the therapist-client relationship, the therapist's empathy and listening skills, and the client's willingness to engage in the therapeutic process. A good therapist creates a safe and supportive environment for clients to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, fostering trust and open communication. Empathy, active listening, and the ability to ask insightful questions are essential qualities that contribute to the effectiveness of therapy. Additionally, the therapist's specialization in specific issues and the client's personal fit with the therapist are crucial for achieving positive outcomes. Clients who actively participate in therapy, reflect on sessions outside of therapy, and bring insights back for further exploration are more likely to experience growth and progress. Ultimately, the success of therapy depends on the collaborative effort between the therapist and the client, emphasizing the importance of a strong therapeutic alliance and mutual commitment to the healing process.

  • Why is it important to have a sense of purpose in life?

    Having a sense of purpose in life is essential for overall well-being and fulfillment. A sense of purpose provides direction, meaning, and motivation, guiding individuals towards goals and aspirations that align with their values and beliefs. It gives life a sense of significance and helps individuals navigate challenges, setbacks, and uncertainties with resilience and determination. A clear sense of purpose can enhance mental health, increase self-esteem, and promote a positive outlook on life. While not everything needs to feel purposeful all the time, having a general sense of direction and meaning can contribute to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Engaging in activities that resonate with one's purpose can lead to a greater sense of accomplishment, connection, and happiness, highlighting the importance of identifying and pursuing meaningful goals in life.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

"Friendship Over Romance: Self-Care and Boundaries"

  • The episode features a game of "overrated or underrated" where the host gives opinions on various topics like morning routines, saunas, meditation, and more.
  • The host expresses his views on goals, emphasizing that the value lies in motivation and direction rather than achieving the exact goal.
  • Self-care is discussed, with the host highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and practicing self-care beyond indulgence.
  • The concept of self-discipline as self-love is emphasized, focusing on doing things that are beneficial rather than solely enjoyable.
  • Romance is deemed overrated, with the host suggesting that it often derails relationships and can be mistaken for love itself.
  • Friendship is considered underrated, with the host stressing the significance of adult friendships for mental health and overall well-being.
  • The importance of friendships is compared to the adverse effects of social isolation, equating it to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • The host discusses the feeling of loneliness in romantic relationships and the value of having decent friends around.
  • An advertisement for listening.com is included, promoting the platform's ability to turn any text into an audiobook for convenient learning.
  • The episode concludes with a discussion on the benefits of using listening.com for catching up on research while on the go.

12:25

Therapist fit crucial for successful therapy

  • Therapy has a high success rate but varies in effectiveness for individuals and is dependent on the therapist's quality and the client's relationship with them.
  • Various therapy modalities exist, but the key factor in therapy's success is the therapist's empathy, listening skills, and ability to ask useful questions.
  • Research suggests that the best therapists produce significantly better outcomes than average therapists, while the worst therapists can make clients worse.
  • Choosing a therapist should focus on their specialization in specific issues and personal fit rather than their background or credentials.
  • It is advised to try out multiple therapists before committing to one to ensure a good fit and feeling heard and understood.
  • Therapists prioritize the client-therapist fit and are not solely motivated by financial gain, aiming to help those they can truly assist.
  • Clients must actively engage in therapy, reflecting on discussions outside sessions and bringing insights back for further exploration.
  • A good therapist will recognize when therapy is no longer necessary, indicating progress and growth.
  • Having a sense of purpose in life is important, but not everything needs to feel purposeful all the time, as mundane tasks are a part of life.
  • Physical activity, particularly dancing, has been shown to have positive effects on mental well-being, comparable to pharmaceutical interventions, and can elevate mood significantly.

25:05

"Escaping Politics: Embracing Journaling and Saunas"

  • David Brooks mentioned our culture is facing a crisis of connection, with many turning to politics unsuccessfully.
  • Politics can create unrealistic expectations and disappointments due to the complexity and imperfection of societal systems.
  • The speaker has shifted away from politics as they've aged, realizing the limitations and messiness of societal solutions.
  • Politics is likened to a drug or reality TV, offering unhealthy governance and a lack of purpose for individuals.
  • News consumption negatively impacts mental health, leading the speaker to replace news with historical reading during the pandemic.
  • Journaling is praised for its benefits in providing clarity, reflection, and personal growth, with a preference for journals that ask challenging questions.
  • The speaker regrets not journaling consistently throughout life, finding past entries fascinating and insightful.
  • Saunas are deemed underrated for their health benefits, while cold plunges are considered overrated due to maintenance issues and lack of substantial data.
  • The speaker owns both a sauna and a cold plunge, finding the sauna relaxing and beneficial, but the cold plunge cumbersome and time-consuming.
  • Heat exposure, like saunas, is supported by long-term data, while cold plunges lack substantial evidence for their benefits. Hot yoga is also praised for its positive effects on the speaker.

37:05

Psychedelics and Religion Impact Mental Health

  • Getting your heart rate up and inducing a stress response periodically is beneficial for overall health.
  • Psychedelics have therapeutic benefits, especially for severe mental health issues like PTSD.
  • Controlled clinical trials with trained professionals are crucial for the therapeutic effects of psychedelics.
  • Microdosing psychedelics for optimization purposes may not be appropriate for everyone.
  • Psychedelics can help individuals with serious mental health issues but may not have the same impact on high-functioning individuals.
  • Some people have intense negative reactions to psychedelics, especially those predisposed to certain mental illnesses.
  • The efficacy of psychiatric interventions tends to decrease over time due to overprescription and selection bias.
  • Religious communities have been linked to longer life, better relationships, and lower crime rates.
  • Religious thinking is inherent in human nature and can manifest in various ways beyond traditional religion.
  • Gratitude practices like journaling may be beneficial for those who tend to take things for granted but may not be as effective for everyone.

51:11

Personalized gratitude practices for individual effectiveness

  • Gratitude journaling may not suit everyone, as some individuals naturally feel grateful without the need for structured exercises. The effectiveness of such tools varies from person to person, with no universal solution for everyone.
  • The key lesson highlighted is the importance of recognizing that no single method works universally or indefinitely. It is advised to experiment with different approaches, sticking with what works until it no longer does, and then transitioning to alternative methods in a continuous cycle of trial and error.
Channel avatarChannel avatarChannel avatarChannel avatarChannel avatar

Try it yourself — It’s free.