Doormat Covert Narcissist Turns Primary Psychopath

Prof. Sam Vaknin・2 minutes read

Covert narcissists can transition into primary psychopaths under stress, manipulation, or rejection, exhibiting a range of manipulative behaviors. Their lack of true self and ability to switch between states can lead to dysfunctional relationships and internal conflict.

Insights

  • Covert narcissists can transform into different personality disorders within cluster B under adverse circumstances, such as becoming a primary psychopath or classic narcissist due to stress or rejection.
  • Covert narcissists exhibit self-destructive and passive-aggressive behaviors, resorting to feigning indifference and adopting people-pleasing strategies to avoid abuse, leading to a constant state of loss and a sense of control through reframing situations.

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Recent questions

  • How do covert narcissists react to stress?

    Covert narcissists can transform into primary psychopaths when faced with stress, humiliation, rejection, or abandonment. This transformation occurs due to their inability to extract narcissistic supply, leading to a shift in behavior under adverse circumstances.

  • What distinguishes covert narcissists from borderline individuals?

    Covert narcissists share similarities with borderline personality but have unique features like pseudo humility and shape-shifting. While both may exhibit psychopathic behaviors under stress, covert narcissists tend to adopt a people-pleasing persona and experience life as a constant state of loss.

  • What defense mechanisms do covert narcissists employ?

    Covert narcissists use defense mechanisms like feigning indifference, numbness, and colluding in their own mistreatment to maintain a facade of control and self-destruction. They may adopt passive-aggressive and self-sabotaging behaviors as a way to cope with their internal struggles.

  • How do covert narcissists maintain relationships?

    Covert narcissists excel at maintaining relationships by employing strategies like people-pleasing, emotional blackmail, and clinging. However, their partners may only realize the missing elements in the relationship after a breakup or dissolution, as the covert narcissist's behavior may seem disconnected from their true self.

  • What happens when covert narcissists are rejected?

    When rejected, covert narcissists may transition into primary psychopaths, creating fictional characters to achieve their goals. This behavior stems from their lack of true self and inability to cope with rejection, leading to a cycle of giving everything away while struggling to assert themselves.

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Summary

00:00

"Narcissists Transform Under Stress and Humiliation"

  • The covert narcissist can transform into different personality disorders within the cluster B, such as becoming a classic narcissist or a primary psychopath, due to stress, humiliation, rejection, or abandonment.
  • Borderline women, when stressed or humiliated, can exhibit psychopathic behaviors, reacting in antisocial ways and losing impulse control.
  • The covert narcissist, lacking the tools to extract narcissistic supply, often transforms into a primary psychopath under adverse circumstances.
  • There is no type constancy among narcissists, as they can switch between different types, such as somatic, cerebral, inverted, or classic.
  • Borderline individuals can transition into secondary psychopaths due to identity disturbance and reliance on external influences for their identity.
  • The covert narcissist shares similarities with borderline personality but has unique features like pseudo humility and shape-shifting.
  • The covert narcissist tends to be a people-pleaser and experiences life as a constant state of loss, feeling that everyone takes away from him.
  • Frustration in the covert narcissist often leads to aggression, which is counterproductive as it is suppressed and expressed passively.
  • The covert narcissist adopts a posture of indifference and collusion in their own abuse, reframing situations to maintain a sense of control.
  • The covert narcissist's defense mechanisms include feigning indifference, numbness, and colluding in their own mistreatment to maintain a facade of control and self-destruction.

19:08

"Covert Narcissists: Control, Manipulation, and Self-Preservation"

  • Internal modification restores locus of control, shifting from external to internal control.
  • Reframing situations where one takes control of actions as godlike.
  • Covert narcissists exhibit self-destructive, passive-aggressive, and sabotaging behaviors.
  • Covert narcissists may adopt people-pleasing strategies to avoid abuse.
  • Covert narcissists aim to make the cost of abusing them escalate to deter abusers.
  • Covert narcissists' behaviors make those around them feel unsafe and unprotected.
  • Covert narcissists engage in a form of people-pleasing that differs from typical people-pleasing.
  • Covert narcissists employ a vanishing act as a strategy to avoid being hurt.
  • Covert narcissists lack self-efficacy, leading to dysfunctional relationships and behaviors.
  • Covert narcissists often resort to imitating primary psychopaths to regain control and assert themselves.

38:07

"Covert narcissists struggle with idealization and stalking"

  • Covert narcissists fail to imitate primary psychopaths, leading to people seeing through them and walking away.
  • Women team up with covert narcissists but end up cheating on them due to unmet emotional and physical needs.
  • Covert narcissists excel at clinging, neediness, emotional blackmail, and stalking.
  • Covert narcissists lack a true self, unlike classic narcissists who provide a Hall of Mirrors with a childlike true self.
  • Covert narcissists struggle with idealization but excel in clinging, neediness, and demanding behavior.
  • Covert narcissists may become stalkers when rejected or under stress, displaying behaviors similar to borderline patients or those with dependent personality disorder.
  • When rejected or stressed, covert narcissists may transition to becoming primary psychopaths, creating fictional characters to achieve goals.
  • Covert narcissists invent fictional characters to interact with others, never truly enjoying the benefits of their actions.
  • Covert narcissists perpetuate a pattern of giving everything to others, even when attempting to take something for themselves.
  • Covert narcissists experience life as an observer, creating fictional characters to interact with others, perpetuating a cycle of giving everything away.

56:56

Covert narcissists: Relationship issues and identity conflict.

  • Complaints about covert narcissists focus on the individual rather than the relationship, with partners often expressing dissatisfaction with the narcissist's behavior and lack of identity.
  • Covert narcissists are adept at maintaining relationships, but their partners may only realize the missing elements after a breakup or dissolution of the relationship.
  • The covert narcissist's behavior, gifts, and contributions may seem disconnected from their true self, leading to a sense of insufficiency and disconnection in relationships.
  • Covert narcissists can switch between dormant and psychopathic states, with distinct signs visible during these transitions.
  • Modification in covert narcissists occurs when the dormant state is provoked within a shared fantasy, leading to internal conflict between the dormant and psychopathic states.
  • Covert narcissists can experience conflict similar to multiple personality disorder when the dormant and psychopathic states clash, resulting in a struggle for dominance within the individual.
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