12 Favorite Phrases of Female Covert Narcissists

Lise Leblanc2 minutes read

Identifying covert narcissists involves recognizing patterns of manipulative behaviors like gaslighting, control, and shifting blame, rather than focusing on isolated incidents. Look for phrases like "You're just trying to start an argument" or "I was just kidding" as red flags for maintaining dominance and controlling partners.

Insights

  • Lisa Block highlights the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior over isolated incidents when identifying narcissistic traits in ex-partners, emphasizing the need to look for consistent signs of disrespect, control, and manipulation.
  • Covert narcissists employ subtle tactics like gaslighting and using phrases to maintain dominance, control, and manipulate partners' emotions, such as shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, and instilling self-doubt through comparisons and unrealistic standards.

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Recent questions

  • How can I identify covert narcissism in a partner?

    Look for patterns of disrespect, lack of empathy, and control.

  • What tactics do covert narcissists use to manipulate their partners?

    They use phrases like "I was just kidding."

  • How do covert narcissists deflect blame in relationships?

    By accusing partners of being insecure or jealous.

  • What phrases do covert narcissists use to maintain control?

    "You never put me as a priority."

  • How do covert narcissists dominate their partners?

    By using phrases like "You're just trying to start an argument."

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Summary

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Identifying Covert Narcissism in Relationships

  • Lisa Block, therapist, author, and life coach, discusses the tendency to label exes as narcissists when hurt, emphasizing the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior over isolated incidents.
  • Covert narcissists, harder to spot than overt ones, exhibit manipulative behaviors gradually, often using phrases to control and dominate their partners.
  • Look for patterns of disrespect, disdain, lack of empathy, defensiveness, and control in a partner's behavior to identify covert narcissism.
  • Covert narcissists use phrases like "You're just trying to start an argument" to maintain dominance and control, employing tactics like silent treatment and gaslighting.
  • Phrases like "I was just kidding" or "You're crazy" are used to avoid responsibility and manipulate partners into questioning their own perceptions and self-esteem.
  • Statements like "No one appreciates me" or "You're always imagining things" aim to shift blame and demand admiration and validation from partners.
  • Covert narcissists may accuse partners of being insecure, jealous, or needy to deflect from their own wrongdoing and manipulate emotions.
  • Expressions like "You never put me as a priority" or "You'll never find anyone as good as me" serve to lower partners' self-worth and maintain control.
  • Comparing partners to others or demanding changes with phrases like "Why can't you be more like so and so" aims to instill self-doubt and keep partners striving to meet unrealistic standards.
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