You MUST Know THIS to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse
RICHARD GRANNON・2 minutes read
Recovery from narcissistic abuse requires understanding the Dual Mothership Model and breaking free from colonization of the mind by the narcissist's worldview, with healing involving individuation and a transformative process over a few months. The relationship dynamics involve phases of idealization, devaluation, and discard, leading to deep psychological conditioning and potential prolonged grief syndrome and arrested development in the target.
Insights
- The Jewel Mothership Model by Sam Vaknin explains how narcissistic relationships involve co-idealization, where the narcissist and target idealize each other as mother and child to facilitate individuation, leading to phases of idealization, devaluation, and discard.
- Understanding the Dual Mothership Model helps unravel the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, where a covert contract between both parties creates a symbiotic relationship of narcissistic supply, conditioning the target to adopt narcissistic traits and worldview, hindering personal growth and potentially causing prolonged grief syndrome.
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Recent questions
What is the purpose of co-idealization in narcissistic relationships?
Co-idealization in narcissistic relationships serves to lead to individuation, where the target is persecuted and discarded to allow the narcissist to grow. This process involves mutual idealization between the narcissist and the target, creating a fusion akin to a mother-child dynamic. The goal is for the target to be pushed to develop their own identity separate from the narcissist, ultimately leading to personal growth for both parties involved.
How does the Dual Mothership Model explain dynamics in narcissistic relationships?
The Dual Mothership Model helps make sense of the push-pull dynamics in narcissistic relationships by outlining phases of idealization, devaluation, and discard. This model involves a covert contract where both parties play the role of hyper-idealized mother, creating a symbiotic relationship of narcissistic supply. Understanding this model is crucial in comprehending the complexities of narcissistic abuse and the psychological mechanisms at play within these relationships.
What is the essence of narcissistic personality disorder?
The essence of narcissistic personality disorder lies in a rejection of reality, leading to delusional behavior and a fantasy-based existence. Individuals with this disorder struggle to accept the truth about themselves and often engage in behaviors that maintain their grandiose self-image. This rejection of reality can manifest in various ways, impacting their relationships and interactions with others.
How can one heal from narcissistic abuse?
Healing from narcissistic abuse involves understanding the Dual Mothership Model, addressing emotional artifacts, and breaking free from the colonization of the mind by the narcissist's worldview. It requires a conscious effort to regain autonomy, undergo a transformative process of individuation, and commit to a period of self-reflection and growth. Seeking support from a community or a course specifically tailored to recovering from narcissistic abuse can also be beneficial in the healing journey.
What challenges may arise post-breakup in a Dual Mothership relationship?
Leaving a Dual Mothership relationship may lead to overwhelming feelings of guilt and anxiety, similar to a mother abandoning a child. This can result in abandonment anxiety, causing significant distress and difficulty in daily life. Individuals may still act as the narcissist post-breakup, affecting therapy and healing processes. Understanding and managing these emotions, as well as deconstructing the shared fantasy in the relationship, are crucial steps in moving on and healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse.
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