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Why You FEEL LOST In Life & How To Find Your TRUE SELF Again! (I.F.S METHOD) | Richard Schwartz

Dr Rangan Chatterjee・76 minutes read

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy focuses on working with internal parts to heal trauma, rewrite stories, and improve internal relationships, leading to increased compassion towards oneself and others. The approach aims to address protective parts, guide individuals towards self-awareness, and promote self-leadership through various practices and techniques.

Insights

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy focuses on understanding and working with different parts of the mind that interact like an external family, aiming to heal internal relationships and improve external interactions.
  • IFS therapy emphasizes recognizing the "Self" as a distinct entity alongside internal parts, fostering self-awareness and self-compassion through practices like the "8 C's of self-leadership."
  • IFS therapy provides practical tools for individuals to navigate conflicts and connect with protective parts, promoting self-understanding, compassion, and inner healing to address underlying needs and shift away from addictive tendencies.

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Recent questions

  • What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

    Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as a system of different parts, each with its own unique characteristics and roles. These parts interact within an individual's internal family, influencing thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. IFS aims to help individuals understand and work with these parts to promote healing, reduce internal conflicts, and improve overall well-being.

  • How does IFS therapy address trauma?

    IFS therapy delves into trauma by recognizing that traumatic experiences can lead to the creation of protective parts within an individual. These protective parts may take on roles such as exiles, protectors, managers, and firefighters to cope with the impact of trauma. By working with these parts in a compassionate and understanding manner, IFS therapy aims to heal internal relationships, rewrite stories, and transform past experiences related to trauma.

  • What are the key concepts in IFS therapy?

    Key concepts in IFS therapy include the idea of the "Self" as a central, compassionate core within individuals, alongside various parts that interact within the internal family system. The "8 C's of self-leadership" - calm, curiosity, compassion, courage, creativity, clarity, connectedness, and confidence - are essential qualities that individuals can cultivate to lead themselves effectively. By separating from protective parts and fostering compassion towards all parts, individuals can promote healing and self-awareness.

  • How does IFS therapy help individuals with addictive tendencies?

    IFS therapy helps individuals with addictive tendencies by addressing and healing the underlying vulnerable parts that addictive behaviors protect. By understanding and befriending different parts of one's personality, individuals can experience shifts in addictive tendencies and move towards a more compassionate self-relationship. Therapists focus on the needs behind addictive behaviors rather than simply trying to eliminate them, leading to natural cessation of addictive tendencies.

  • Where can I find resources and training for IFS therapy?

    Resources and training for IFS therapy are available through various avenues, including online programs, books like "No Bad Parts" and "You're the One You've Been Waiting For," video lectures on YouTube, and active groups like IFS UK. The Foundation for Self-Leadership sponsors research and educational programs, offering opportunities for individuals to learn more about IFS therapy and its applications.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

Transformative Internal Family Systems Therapy

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) has transformed the speaker's life, reducing stress and anxiety.
  • Dr. Gabor Mate is a supporter of IFS, finding it incredible and transformative.
  • Tim Ferriss also praises IFS, stating it has been helpful personally.
  • IFS helps work with the inner critic, best understood by observing a session.
  • IFS involves having parts inside our minds that interact like an external family.
  • Trauma and attachment injuries force parts into destructive roles, freezing them in time.
  • IFS challenges the cultural idea of one mind, highlighting the multiplicity of minds within us.
  • Family therapy's insight of understanding the context applies to IFS, reorganizing parts.
  • IFS delves into trauma, rewriting stories to transform past experiences.
  • Sessions involve going back to incidents, interacting with younger selves and others to transform relationships and rewrite stories.

18:09

Healing Internal Relationships Through IFS Therapy

  • The mistake in culture and psychotherapy is assuming parts are what they seem, like the inner critic being parental voices and binging as addiction.
  • Trying to ignore or fight parts leads to coercion, worsening the situation.
  • Valuable parts are frozen in trauma, thinking they still need to protect as they did in childhood.
  • Recognizing the "Self" as a 40-year-old within, alongside parts, is a key concept in IFS therapy.
  • The "8 C's of self-leadership" include calm, curiosity, compassion, courage, creativity, clarity, connectedness, and confidence.
  • Separating from parts allows for a shift in feelings towards them, fostering calm, curiosity, and compassion.
  • Developing compassion for internal parts leads to increased compassion for external interactions.
  • IFS aims to heal internal relationships to improve external interactions, fostering compassion towards oneself and others.
  • The origins of IFS lie in treating bulimia, where parts like exiles, protectors, managers, and firefighters emerge.
  • Exiled parts carry burdens from trauma, leading to emotional explosions and the need for protectors and managers to control and protect them.

36:52

Navigating Conflict: Understanding Protectors Within Relationships

  • The speaker discusses how protective parts within themselves can take over during conflicts, particularly with their wife, leading to negative thoughts and hurtful words.
  • Both the speaker and their wife have developed a method of calling a time out during conflicts, focusing inward to understand the protective parts at play before speaking from a place of self.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing when protectors take over during conflicts, highlighting the value of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy in increasing awareness and facilitating inner work.
  • Practical advice is given for individuals experiencing conflicts with their partners, suggesting taking a break to separate and identify the protective parts at play before addressing the issue.
  • A physical exercise is described where individuals can feel the difference between their protector and self by imagining a triggering person and noticing the physical and emotional responses.
  • By focusing inward and separating from the protector, individuals can experience a shift in their physical and emotional state, leading to a more open-hearted and relaxed demeanor.
  • The speaker guides the individual to interact with their protector, offering compassion and understanding, leading to a sense of relief and a shift in their role from protector to a more relaxed companion.
  • The speaker encourages further exploration by asking the protector if they are safeguarding other vulnerable parts, leading to a healing process and a deeper understanding of the self.
  • Through a guided visualization, the individual connects with a vulnerable part of themselves, expressing love and understanding, uncovering the desire for unconditional love and acceptance.
  • The individual explores the past experiences of the vulnerable part, revealing a pattern of seeking love through actions rather than self-acceptance, leading to feelings of exhaustion and a lack of self-acceptance.

59:04

Healing the Inner Child Through IFS Therapy

  • Encourage the individual to connect with their inner five-year-old self and show understanding of the difficulties faced.
  • Prompt the individual to be present with the five-year-old self stuck in the past without seeing themselves in the scenario.
  • Guide the individual to interact with the five-year-old self by radiating warmth, love, and support.
  • Assist the individual in addressing unresolved issues by having conversations with others from the past.
  • Transition the five-year-old self to a happier place, like the woods, and assure them of care and support.
  • Help the five-year-old self release negative feelings by visualizing and letting go of them through fire.
  • Encourage the five-year-old self to invite positive qualities into their being.
  • Facilitate the reunion of the protective part with the five-year-old self, ensuring a sense of security.
  • Discuss the goals of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, including liberating parts, restoring trust in self, integrating parts, and promoting self-led behavior.
  • Reflect on the universal applicability of IFS therapy, its potential benefits for individuals without diagnosed issues, and its effectiveness with children through play therapy techniques.

01:20:32

"Transformative journey from addiction to self-compassion"

  • The speaker reflects on his addictive personality, particularly during his university days in Edinburgh, where he engaged in gambling activities for excitement.
  • Through a self-healing journey, the speaker noticed a natural cessation of addictive behaviors without actively trying to stop them.
  • Therapists working with addicts focus on understanding the underlying needs of addictive behaviors rather than simply trying to eliminate them.
  • By addressing and healing the younger, vulnerable parts that addictive behaviors protect, individuals naturally move away from addictive tendencies.
  • The speaker highlights the transformative power of acknowledging and befriending different parts of one's personality, leading to shifts in addictive tendencies.
  • The approach of Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) involves understanding and working with various protective parts within individuals, leading to a compassionate self-relationship.
  • IFS therapy has shown significant success in treating PTSD, with individuals experiencing shifts in their protective parts and moving away from diagnoses.
  • The speaker critiques the labeling and identification with diagnoses, emphasizing the importance of understanding symptoms and exploring underlying causes.
  • IFS therapy involves ongoing daily practices to maintain therapeutic gains, ensuring continued connection with vulnerable parts and relaxation of protective parts.
  • The speaker discusses the potential for backlash when delving deep into therapy, emphasizing the need for attention and care towards scared protective parts.

01:37:54

"Online circle training and resources available"

  • The online circle training is in high demand, leading to a waiting list, but an online program is available for basics.
  • Books like "No Bad Parts" and "You're the One You've Been Waiting For" are recommended, with availability on Amazon and the website.
  • Various video lectures and examples of therapy sessions are accessible on YouTube.
  • The IFS UK group is active, offering trainings and resources, with their website being ifsuk.com.
  • The Foundation for Self-Leadership, a non-profit organization, sponsors research and educational programs, accepting donations for their work.
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