Why perfectionists become depressed | Dr Keith Gaynor

Aware2 minutes read

Perfectionism can lead to self-criticism, low self-esteem, and mental health issues, with high achievers often feeling their accomplishments are never enough. Keith highlights the negative impact of perfectionism on depression and recommends flexible goals, self-appreciation, and incremental progress to combat self-criticism and foster a positive self-image.

Insights

  • Perfectionism, when taken to extremes, can lead to increased risks of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues due to setting excessively high standards and engaging in self-criticism, impacting mood and overall well-being.
  • Embracing flexible standards, recognizing and appreciating achievements, and balancing hard work with self-care are essential in combating self-criticism, fostering a positive self-image, and maintaining mental well-being, crucial for managing obstacles effectively.

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Recent questions

  • What is the link between perfectionism and depression?

    Perfectionism can lead to increased risks of depression.

  • How can perfectionism impact one's well-being?

    Perfectionism can lead to emotional worry, physical fatigue, and poor sleep.

  • What are the signs of clinical perfectionism?

    Clinical perfectionism can result in increased risks of depression and anxiety.

  • How can one combat perfectionism?

    Embracing flexible standards and acknowledging imperfections can lead to a healthier mindset.

  • What are the consequences of perfectionism on self-esteem?

    Perfectionism often leads to self-criticism and low self-esteem, impacting mood and overall well-being.

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Summary

00:00

Perfectionism's Link to Depression and Anxiety

  • Keith, a psychologist and therapist, works extensively with individuals dealing with anxiety and depression.
  • He notes that many high achievers struggle with feeling their accomplishments are never enough due to perfectionism.
  • Keith aims to discuss the link between perfectionism and depression, highlighting how this mindset can be detrimental.
  • Perfectionists often set excessively high standards, leading to self-criticism and low self-esteem.
  • Clinical perfectionism, when taken to extremes, can result in increased risks of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
  • Keith recommends a book by Roz Afrin, "Overcoming Perfectionism," as a helpful resource for those struggling with this trait.
  • Perfectionism can lead to emotional worry, physical fatigue, poor sleep, cognitive rumination, and behavioral patterns like procrastination.
  • The paradox of perfectionism is that the more one achieves, the worse they may feel about themselves due to unattainable standards.
  • Perfectionism often stems from low self-esteem, rigid standards, and the tendency to self-criticize regardless of task outcomes.
  • Perfectionists tend to criticize themselves whether they complete a task, fail to meet standards, or avoid the task altogether, leading to a continuous cycle of self-doubt and lowered self-esteem.

15:33

Striving for Perfection: Impact and Solutions

  • Many individuals strive to be perfect parents, but the rigidity of this standard can lead to feelings of failure when faced with challenges like a misbehaving toddler in public.
  • Criticizing oneself for not meeting the impossible standard of perfection can lead to negative self-perception and avoidance of situations that may highlight imperfections.
  • Perfectionism often leads to self-criticism and low self-esteem, impacting mood and overall well-being.
  • Setting rigid goals and standards can create internal conflict when competing priorities arise, causing stress and feelings of inadequacy.
  • Goals should be flexible and realistic, allowing for ups and downs without harsh self-judgment.
  • Perfectionism stems from a dissatisfaction with oneself and a belief that nothing is ever good enough, leading to a constant pursuit of unattainable standards.
  • Recognizing and appreciating one's achievements, even if not unique or perfect, can help combat self-criticism and foster a positive self-image.
  • Avoidance and procrastination often stem from the fear of not achieving perfection, leading individuals to avoid tasks altogether rather than risk failure.
  • Balancing hard work with self-care is essential to prevent burnout and maintain mental well-being.
  • Embracing flexible standards and acknowledging that perfection is unattainable can lead to a healthier mindset and improved self-esteem.

31:21

Overcoming fear and self-criticism for success.

  • Fear of failure can hinder progress and reinforce negative beliefs about oneself, leading to low self-esteem.
  • Ways to avoid tasks include getting busy with other tasks, blaming external factors, or feeling overwhelmed by the issue.
  • Anxiety is a normal part of starting something new, but taking the first step is crucial despite the fear of failure.
  • Gradually chipping away at tasks incrementally is key to achieving goals, even if anxiety and fear persist.
  • Self-criticism, often stemming from perfectionism, can lead to relentless criticism, lowering self-esteem and hindering progress.
  • Developing core confidence, where one recognizes their fundamental okayness even on bad days, is crucial in building a resilient self-esteem and managing obstacles effectively.
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