Why Perfectionism Is Ruining Your Life

Ali Abdaal・2 minutes read

Harry and Percy have different reactions to feedback, with Harry embracing constructive criticism and Percy viewing it as a failure. Perfectionism can lead to decreased performance and burnout, requiring individuals to set reasonable standards and embrace imperfections to overcome it.

Insights

  • Perfectionism exists on a spectrum, not as a binary concept, with different reactions to feedback based on healthy striving versus perfectionism, impacting productivity and success.
  • Overcoming perfectionism involves setting reasonable standards, reframing failure as growth, embracing imperfections, and utilizing tools like journaling and "nice goals" to combat negative feelings and increase productivity.

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Recent questions

  • What are the different reactions to feedback between Harry and Percy?

    Harry appreciates constructive criticism, while Percy sees it as a failure. Harry is a healthy striver, while Percy is a perfectionist, leading to their contrasting responses to feedback.

  • Is there a correlation between perfectionism and increased productivity?

    No, data shows no correlation between perfectionism and performance. Perfectionism can actually lead to decreased effort after setbacks, resulting in procrastination and decreased performance.

  • What are the negative consequences of perfectionism?

    Perfectionism can lead to compromises in life, less productivity, and increased burnout. It stems from a sense of deficit, setting excessively high standards that often result in failure, shame, guilt, anxiety, and stress.

  • How can one overcome perfectionism?

    Overcoming perfectionism involves setting reasonable standards, understanding the law of diminishing returns, and embracing the concept of "good enough" to avoid burnout and procrastination. Journaling and reframing failure as a natural part of growth are also helpful strategies.

  • What is a practical approach to setting achievable goals and combating perfectionism?

    Utilizing "nice goals" - NE term, input-based, controllable, and energizing - can be a practical approach to setting achievable goals and combating perfectionism. Setting vague, sketchy goals rather than rigid and specific ones can also be more effective in this regard.

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Summary

00:00

"Perfectionism: Impact and Overcoming Strategies"

  • Harry and Percy are ambitious and hardworking students who react differently to feedback; Harry appreciates constructive criticism, while Percy sees it as a failure.
  • Harry is a healthy striver, while Percy is a perfectionist, leading to different reactions to feedback.
  • Perfectionism is not a binary concept but exists on a spectrum, with growing levels observed, especially among young people.
  • Perfectionism does not necessarily lead to increased productivity or success, as evidenced by data showing no correlation between perfectionism and performance.
  • A study on student athletes revealed that perfectionists tend to decrease effort after a setback, leading to procrastination and decreased performance.
  • Perfectionists often work too hard, leading to compromises in life, less productivity, and increased burnout.
  • Perfectionism stems from a sense of deficit, setting excessively high standards that often lead to failure, shame, guilt, anxiety, and stress.
  • Imposter syndrome is common among perfectionists, particularly those from working-class backgrounds, leading to doubts about self-worth and constant need to prove oneself.
  • Socially prescribed perfectionism, influenced by external expectations, can lead to imposter syndrome and feelings of inadequacy.
  • Overcoming perfectionism involves setting reasonable standards, understanding the law of diminishing returns, and embracing the concept of "good enough" to avoid burnout and procrastination.

11:26

Overcoming perfectionism through journaling and growth.

  • Journaling is a helpful tool to combat negative feelings like procrastination and perfectionism, with a database of journaling prompts available for free.
  • Surrendering to life's unpredictability and imperfections is key to overcoming perfectionism, drawing parallels to the Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi.
  • Reframing failure as a natural part of growth and learning is crucial in breaking the cycle of perfectionism, progressing through levels of acceptance.
  • Stepping out of one's comfort zone regularly is essential for personal development and overcoming perfectionism, challenging aversions to failure and criticism.
  • Setting vague, sketchy goals rather than rigid and specific ones can be more effective in combating perfectionism, as evidenced by research on goal-setting.
  • Utilizing "nice goals" - NE term, input-based, controllable, and energizing - can be a practical approach to setting achievable goals and combating perfectionism.
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