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The Worst Programming Language Ever - Mark Rendle - NDC Oslo 2021

NDC Conferences・48 minutes read

A .net developer plans to create the worst programming language by combining the worst features of existing languages, introducing elements like Euro symbol variable prefixes, unique comment rules, and a strict equality check. The speaker also discusses the complexities and unique aspects of various programming languages, highlighting the importance of loops, memory management, and date formatting conventions.

Insights

  • Mark Rendall is working on creating a new programming language called "BS" that will have inconsistent naming conventions, challenging coding practices, significant whitespace like Python, and unique features like Euro symbol variable prefixes and a Greek question mark for "unless" statements, inspired by JavaScript's comparison rules.
  • The speaker highlights various programming languages' worst features, including COBOL's excessive boilerplate, APL's complexity, INTERCAL's intentional slowness, and Visual Basic's evolution from a joke language to a widely used application-building tool, emphasizing the diversity of languages and the potential for innovation in the programming language landscape.

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Recent questions

  • What are some examples of the worst programming languages?

    COBOL, APL, INTERCAL, Visual Basic, Gupta SQL Windows.

  • What are some unique features of the proposed language "BS"?

    Inconsistent naming, Euro symbol prefixes, arrow dereferencing, comma string concatenation, unique comment rules.

  • How does the proposed language "BS" handle exception handling?

    No "if" statements, only "unless" with a single exception named "halt and catch fire."

  • What are some of the string formats offered in the proposed language "BS"?

    ASCII, ANSI, DBCS, EBCDIC, UTF-256 with unique encoding and interpolation rules.

  • How does the proposed language "BS" handle memory management?

    Automates memory management to simplify the coding process.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

"Creating the Worst Programming Language: BS"

  • Mark Rendall, a .net developer with 30 years of experience, discusses the worst features of various programming languages.
  • He aims to combine these worst features to create the worst programming language in history.
  • Rendall highlights COBOL as the first committee-designed language with excessive boilerplate, intended for business people to write applications.
  • IBM's version of COBOL had even more boilerplate, with a complex "Hello World" program.
  • APL, created by Kenneth Iverson, was a teaching language with a simple "Hello World" program and a complex Game of Life code.
  • INTERCAL, a joke language, required polite language in coding and had a unique "come from" statement instead of "go to."
  • INTERCAL was intentionally slow, with a benchmark showing it was 17 hours slower than a FORTRAN prime number finder.
  • Visual Basic, initially a joke language, was acquired by Microsoft and used for building applications in the 90s.
  • Gupta SQL Windows, a challenging language with a unique code editor and binary file saving, was abandoned for .NET.
  • Rendall plans to create a new language, "BS," with inconsistent naming conventions, challenging coding practices, and significant whitespace like Python.
  • BS will feature Euro symbol variable prefixes, arrow dereferencing, comma string concatenation, and unique comment rules based on spacing.

17:05

"BS Code: Null, Unless, and Unique Comparisons"

  • To comment in BS code, use the slash star and star slash symbols at the beginning and end of the comment respectively.
  • Tab space and space tab on a blank line will comment out everything in between in BS code.
  • Null is a common element in all programming languages, often referred to as a billion-dollar mistake by Alan Kay.
  • Ruby introduces the "unless" keyword as an alternative to "if" for exception handling, aiming for readable code.
  • BS will not have "if" statements, only "unless" for exception handling, with a single exception named "halt and catch fire."
  • BS will use a Greek question mark instead of a semicolon for "unless" statements, inspired by JavaScript's unique comparison rules.
  • JavaScript's type coercion complexities will be adopted in BS, with additional unique comparisons like zero equals the empty string.
  • BS will introduce a strict equality check using "bang equals bang" for precise comparisons without type coercion.
  • BS will offer various string formats, including ASCII, ANSI, DBCS, EBCDIC, and UTF-256, with unique encoding and interpolation rules.
  • Macros in BS will be based on regular expressions, allowing complex string substitutions using vi or vim syntax for search and replace.

33:36

"Programming essentials: loops, memory, and languages"

  • English grammar involves using "a" or "an" based on the following word's initial letter, with "an" used before vowels or "h."
  • Mistakes in identifying data types like strings or integers can lead to compiler errors.
  • Scripted languages allow easy code inspection, while compiled languages can hide performance issues.
  • Semi-compiled languages like C# and Java compile to intermediate byte code before Just-In-Time compilation.
  • Memory management in languages like C can be complex due to manual memory allocation and deallocation.
  • Garbage-collected languages automate memory management, simplifying the coding process.
  • Rust's strict rules prevent risky programming practices, ensuring program stability.
  • In programming, loops are essential, with various loop types available in different languages.
  • The use of "goto" statements in code can be controversial but can aid in avoiding repetitive code.
  • Introducing threading in programming languages like BASIC can simplify parallel task execution.

49:32

"Date Formatting Codes in Programming Languages"

  • Date formatting in programming languages involves specific codes like lowercase yyyy for year, uppercase M for month, dd for day, hh for 12-hour clock, and lowercase mm for minutes.
  • Go programming language uses a unique date format of January 22, 2006, at 3:04:05 Mountain Time, which is considered a standard.
  • Go programming language requires a special layout parameter for date formatting, like "Monday January the 2nd 150405 MST 2006."
  • The speaker criticizes the American date format of month first, suggesting a personal date of the 21st of November 2014 at 5:10 PM Eastern European Time.
  • Audience members suggest unique features for programming languages, such as MATLAB echoing lines without semicolons and prefixing functions with "bs" in build functions.
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