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كيف تنجح العلاقات مع ياسر الحزيمي | بودكاست فنجان

إذاعة ثمانية・103 minutes read

Relationships with Allah and oneself are crucial, impacting interactions with others, spiritual bonds influence forgiveness, contentment, and interactions, even as fashion and trends dictate societal values.

Insights

  • Relationships are driven by need, including the relationship with Allah, who is independent.
  • The Ministry of Health highlighted that long-term solitude can lead to depression, emphasizing the importance of healthy relationships.
  • Mental health is closely linked to relationships, from spiritual bonds with Allah to relationships with oneself and others.
  • Fashion and trends have become the new god, dictating what is considered valuable and trendy.

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Recent questions

  • How does long-term solitude affect mental health?

    Long-term solitude can lead to depression, as highlighted by the Ministry of Health. Healthy relationships are crucial for mental well-being, emphasizing the importance of social connections in maintaining emotional stability and overall mental health.

  • What are the pillars of a healthy relationship?

    The relationship with Allah and oneself are crucial pillars that impact interactions with others. Spiritual bonds with Allah influence forgiveness, contentment, and interactions with others, emphasizing the significance of spiritual connections regardless of religion.

  • How does social media impact relationships?

    Social media has made life easier but relationships harder, promoting consumerism and individualism over devotion and loyalty. It has diluted the sense of responsibility, allowing superficial fulfillment of obligations and avoidance of true emotional connections, especially evident during the Covid pandemic.

  • What are the signs of unhealthy attachments?

    Unhealthy attachments are cautioned against, with signs such as possessiveness, obsession, and sacrificing personal boundaries for the sake of another person being highlighted as indicators of attachment issues. It is essential to recognize these signs to maintain healthy relationships.

  • Why is cooperation vital in relationships?

    Cooperation is a vital aspect of healthier relationships, involving initiating kindness, sincere advice, and patience with criticism. Avoiding blame and fulfilling needs are crucial components of cooperation, fostering understanding and harmony in relationships.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

"Relationships, Mental Health, and Spiritual Bonds"

  • Relationships are driven by need, including the relationship with Allah, who is independent.
  • A 114-year-old man named Addihesh from Az Zulfi shared insights on relationships.
  • The Ministry of Health highlighted that long-term solitude can lead to depression, emphasizing the importance of healthy relationships.
  • Mental health is closely linked to relationships, from spiritual bonds with Allah to relationships with oneself and others.
  • Yasser Al-Huzaimi, a certified relationship coach, discussed improving relationships and communication skills.
  • A documentary series on genes and their effects is available on Aflam thmanyah channel on YouTube.
  • Hosting podcasts requires mental effort, active listening, and playing the audience role.
  • Abdulrahman Abumalih transitioned from education to becoming a relationship coach, focusing on developing a strong personality.
  • The relationship with Allah and oneself are crucial pillars, impacting interactions with others.
  • Being aware of Allah's presence influences forgiveness, contentment, and interactions with others, emphasizing the importance of spiritual bonds regardless of religion.

18:01

"Defining norms, beauty, and relationships in society"

  • Religion defines the lawful and unlawful, while norms establish what is acceptable or not.
  • The sense of beauty distinguishes between the beautiful and the ugly, but these standards are no longer relevant.
  • Fashion and trends have become the new god, dictating what is considered valuable and trendy.
  • Humans have a constant need for a god, with the first pillar being the relationship with Allah.
  • The relationship with oneself involves appreciation, acceptance, and understanding the different aspects of one's identity.
  • Relationships are interconnected, with culture, interests, skills, and abilities playing crucial roles.
  • People are categorized into three types based on their interactions: the master, the prisoner, and the equal.
  • A healthy relationship with oneself involves authenticity and avoiding presenting a false image to the world.
  • The gap between appearance and reality can lead to depression and affect relationships.
  • Confidence should be based on actual abilities and experiences, not arrogance or self-contempt.

38:11

Impact of Relationships on Self-Worth and Acceptance

  • People speak irreverently about Allah, calling Him "tight-fisted" and "poor", even doing so to the Prophet PBUH.
  • Prophet Musa asked Allah to silence those who speak ill of him, but Allah explained that it wasn't decreed.
  • Individuals who grew up in unloving homes seek love desperately, even from impure sources.
  • Children learn their worth through caretakers' behavior and long for acceptance.
  • Relationships with caretakers shape individuals' self-worth and sense of acceptance.
  • Siblings teach transactional relationships, where saying no leads to rejection.
  • Guests at home prompt upgrades in behavior and appearance for social acceptance.
  • Magnifying others diminishes one's self-worth, while reducing others is considered pride.
  • Seeking external validation leads to self-contempt and dependence on others' opinions.
  • Self-acceptance involves knowing one's rights, boundaries, and normalizing mistakes.

58:18

"Modern society values competency over humanity"

  • Dowry should be spent on courses about marriage, not just on material possessions.
  • Appearance has become a priority over substance in relationships.
  • Some individuals prioritize physical appearance over health and fitness.
  • Extreme freedom can lead to a lack of guidance and moral boundaries.
  • Relativism blurs the lines between right and wrong, leading to individualistic behaviors.
  • Globalization has homogenized cultures and preferences, erasing local identities.
  • Utilitarianism and contractualism have shifted relationships towards self-interest and legal agreements.
  • Contractualism can dehumanize interactions, reducing people to tasks and numbers.
  • Dehumanization is evident in modern systems like healthcare and hospitality.
  • Competency is valued over humanity in a dehumanized society.

01:18:55

Effects of Modern Society on Relationships and Work

  • Napoleon democratized education, allowing everyone to have equal opportunities and significant positions to be filled by competent individuals, not based on nepotism.
  • The poor are now viewed as stupid, ignorant, and lazy, with no assistance provided, leading to earned success and poverty.
  • Recruitment of non-Muslim domestic workers is increasing due to perceived competence, but a value-based system should be maintained.
  • Family is seen as a burden in the modern work market, limiting opportunities for those with families and making success and ambition complex.
  • Competence has led to instability and movement, with people changing jobs and countries frequently, affecting relationships and prosperity.
  • Dehumanization is evident in corporate practices, with employees being rotated without consideration for their personal lives, leading to contractualism and neglect of humane aspects.
  • Planned obsolescence in manufacturing products aims to increase consumption and employment, with a focus on replacing rather than repairing items.
  • Relationships are now based on consumption and replacement, with divorce and remarriage being easier than fixing existing relationships.
  • Social media has made life easier but relationships harder, promoting consumerism and individualism over devotion and loyalty.
  • Social media has diluted the sense of responsibility, allowing people to fulfill obligations superficially and avoid true emotional connections, especially evident during the Covid pandemic.

01:40:38

Navigating Social Interactions: Decency and Balance

  • Social skills lacking, leading to virtual interactions due to overwhelming real social encounters.
  • Social media erodes privacy, labeling offline individuals as mysterious or weird.
  • Historical perspective on societal treatment: religion, loyalty, chivalry, decency, fear, and desire.
  • Importance of decency in relationships, doing good deeds out of courtesy.
  • Differentiating between efficiency and productivity in life.
  • Just treatment in contractual relationships, avoiding absolute justice to prevent injustice.
  • Hierarchy of rights in relationships: siblings, parents, spouse, and obligations.
  • Balancing contractualism with humanization in daily interactions.
  • Importance of awareness, mindfulness, and interpretation in relationships.
  • Handling relationships gracefully, parting with dignity and good manners.

02:02:19

Navigating Relationship Dynamics for Effective Communication

  • Changing the name of someone you disagree with in your phone can be a way to lower their rank and manage relationships.
  • Situational awareness in relationships involves discerning cues like specific phrases to understand someone's feelings towards you.
  • Prioritizing relationships involves adjusting responses and behaviors based on the rank or importance of the person.
  • Different types of relationships are classified into living, sick, sickening, and dead relationships, each with distinct characteristics and dynamics.
  • Dead relationships, also known as tree relationships, lack demands or obligations and exist peacefully without affection or love.
  • The importance of marriage and companionship is emphasized, highlighting the significance of a spouse in providing comfort and peace.
  • Guidelines for maintaining healthy relationships between men and women in shared spaces include avoiding overly familiar speech and interactions.
  • Regular relationships are defined by specific contexts and obligations, while deep relationships involve consistent communication and connection.
  • Old relationships and temporary relationships have unique dynamics, with strategies for maintaining or ending them effectively.
  • Understanding the concept of relationship networks, where connections between individuals can be affected by the dynamics of specific relationships within the network.

02:25:21

Navigating Relationships: Quality Over Quantity

  • Amr Ibn Al-As noted that having many relationships can lead to having more enemies, as it becomes challenging to fulfill everyone's rights.
  • Dunbar's research suggests that the maximum number of relationships one can effectively maintain is around 190, highlighting the importance of quality over quantity in relationships.
  • The minimum relationship limit within a nuclear family is 8, encompassing various family connections such as husband to wife, father to daughter, and brother to brother.
  • By including extended family members like grandfathers and uncles, the minimum relationship count increases to 32, emphasizing the complexity of family ties.
  • The concept of Dunbar's Number is revisited, reducing the maximum number of relationships to 151, underscoring the limitations individuals face in maintaining meaningful connections.
  • Setting boundaries in relationships is advised, suggesting strategies like reducing time spent with certain individuals and limiting responses to maintain healthy relationships.
  • Embracing the presence of enemies in one's life is encouraged, as having adversaries can be a natural part of forming relationships, reflecting the experiences of prophets who faced opposition despite their good character.
  • Unhealthy attachments and infatuations are cautioned against, with signs such as possessiveness, obsession, and sacrificing personal boundaries for the sake of another person being highlighted as indicators of attachment issues.
  • The importance of navigating relationships with care, especially in workplace settings, is emphasized to avoid negative impacts on job performance and emotional stability.
  • The stages of infatuation, realization, and decision-making in relationships are outlined, with a focus on the significance of moving past infatuation to truly understand and accept a partner's true self for a lasting and stable relationship.

02:47:59

"Dealing with Sick Relationships and Social Numbers"

  • Boredom typically sets in after 18 months in various aspects of life, including jobs, indicating a lack of responsibility and patience crucial for marriage.
  • To address sick relationships, one must consider taking the "responsibility vitamin" by being patient, maintaining connections, and being generous even when faced with negligence.
  • Different levels of dealing with sick relationships include the lesser, reciprocating, kind, and better levels, with the best being treating others as one wants Allah to treat them.
  • Cooperation is a vital vitamin for healthier relationships, involving initiating kindness, sincere advice, and patience with criticism, while avoiding blame and fulfilling needs.
  • Dead relationships should be completely cut off, with all reminders and gifts associated with the attachment discarded to facilitate healing and moving on.
  • Social numbers determine one's status in various contexts, influenced by factors like religious, academic, social, skill, and moral authority, emphasizing the importance of awareness and acceptance of different numbers in different situations.
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