How to listen like a therapist: 4 secret skills

Doctor Ali Mattu2 minutes read

Therapists use four essential skills to improve relationships and communication, emphasizing reflective listening, understanding the other person's experience, validating emotions, and exploring ambivalence to support positive change. These skills are critical for fostering empathy, clarity, and compassion in interactions.

Insights

  • Reflecting back what someone says fosters empathy and clarity, turning off the impulse to interrupt or give advice.
  • Understanding a person's experience, validating their emotions, and addressing ambivalence are key skills for therapists to enhance relationships and communication.

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Recent questions

  • How can therapists improve relationships?

    By using skills like reflecting, asking, validating, and understanding ambivalence.

  • What is the first essential skill therapists use?

    Reflecting back what the other person is saying.

  • Why is validation important in communication?

    It shows empathy and compassion towards the other person.

  • What does understanding ambivalence help with?

    Supporting individuals in making positive changes.

  • How does asking about experiences benefit communication?

    It helps in grasping the person's emotions and thoughts.

Related videos

Summary

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"Therapists' Skills Enhance Relationships and Communication"

  • Dr. Ellen Mytoo shares four essential skills therapists use to improve relationships and communication.
  • These skills are simple but crucial, often overlooked by those outside mental health fields.
  • Skill one involves reflecting back what the other person is saying to show genuine listening and understanding.
  • Reflecting back helps in turning off the urge to interrupt or offer advice, fostering empathy and clarity.
  • Skill two focuses on asking the person how they are experiencing a situation, rather than the cliché "How does that make you feel?"
  • Understanding the person's experience helps in grasping their emotions and thoughts during the event.
  • Skill three, validation, involves acknowledging and understanding the other person's emotions and experiences.
  • Validation is crucial in showing empathy and compassion, even if the emotions don't make sense to you.
  • Skill four is about understanding ambivalence, the conflict between wanting to change and resisting change due to significant reasons.
  • By exploring why a person is torn between change and resistance, one can better support them in making positive changes.
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