How to Lead Tough Conversations | Adar Cohen | TEDxKeene

TEDx Talks11 minutes read

Effective conversations in challenging settings can lead to collaboration and positive outcomes, as shown through examples in Cook County Jail and Northern Ireland. By moving towards conflict, asking questions, and listening actively, tough conversations can result in transformative partnerships and reconciliation.

Insights

  • Effective conversations can lead to transformative outcomes, as seen in instances where tough dialogues in Cook County Jail and Northern Ireland fostered collaboration, reconciliation, and partnership, emphasizing the power of listening, asking questions, and moving towards conflict.
  • Personal stories shared during tough conversations, like the man's narrative of fear and hope in Belfast, can spark profound discussions among former enemies, highlighting the significance of sharing personal experiences in shaping understanding and fostering dialogue for a better future.

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Recent questions

  • How does the speaker emphasize the importance of tough conversations?

    By stating that one conversation can change everything.

  • What are the three rules for leading effective conversations according to the speaker?

    Move toward conflict, ask questions and listen, keep quiet.

  • How does the speaker illustrate the power of listening and asking questions in tough conversations?

    By sharing examples of breakthroughs in challenging dialogues.

  • What is the speaker's approach to facilitating tough conversations in conflict-ridden environments?

    By encouraging moving toward conflict and keeping quiet.

  • What does the speaker stress as the transformative potential of conversations?

    Instances where tough conversations led to partnerships, reconciliation, and goal achievement.

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Summary

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Transformative Power of Tough Conversations

  • The speaker describes being in Cook County Jail, the largest in the country, for a meeting, where he is searched and interviewed before being left with a gang leader and a corrections officer.
  • He emphasizes the importance of tough conversations in various settings, stating that one conversation can change everything.
  • The speaker shares three rules for leading effective conversations: move toward conflict, ask questions and listen, and keep quiet.
  • He recounts a tough conversation in the Cook County Jail where he applied these rules, leading to collaboration between stakeholders for inmate reentry programs.
  • Another example is given from Northern Ireland during "the Troubles," where the speaker facilitated conversations between former combatants, emphasizing moving toward conflict and keeping quiet.
  • The speaker highlights the power of listening and asking questions, leading to breakthroughs in tough conversations.
  • In Belfast, a man's story of fear and hope led to a profound discussion among former enemies, emphasizing the impact of sharing personal experiences.
  • The speaker concludes by stressing the transformative potential of conversations, citing instances where tough conversations led to partnerships, reconciliation, and goal achievement.
  • He encourages the audience to embrace tough conversations by moving toward conflict, asking questions, and keeping quiet, as conversations shape the future.
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