Feelings: Handle them before they handle you | Mandy Saligari | TEDxGuildford

TEDx Talks2 minutes read

Individuals struggling with addiction often use external substances to cope with internal emotional issues, emphasizing the significance of self-esteem as a preventative measure. The speaker highlights the importance of setting boundaries, learning to receive, and fostering self-compassion to address self-harming behaviors and promote recovery.

Insights

  • Self-esteem plays a critical role in preventing addiction and mental health issues, as individuals often turn to external sources to address internal emotional struggles, leading to harmful consequences.
  • Building self-respect, setting boundaries, and fostering self-compassion are crucial steps in recovery from addiction, emphasizing the significance of addressing self-harming behaviors and developing a positive relationship with oneself to enable genuine connections and full living.

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Recent questions

  • How can self-esteem impact addiction prevention?

    Self-esteem plays a crucial role in preventing addiction and mental health issues. The Summary emphasizes that individuals who lack self-respect may turn to external substances or behaviors to cope with internal emotional issues. By building a strong sense of self-esteem, individuals are less likely to seek validation or relief from harmful sources. This preventative measure can help individuals avoid the negative consequences of addiction by addressing underlying emotional needs and fostering a positive self-image.

  • What is addiction really about?

    Addiction is not solely about the substance itself but rather about using external sources to cope with internal emotional issues. The Summary highlights that individuals often delegate their emotional processes to substances or behaviors, seeking to fill a void or numb emotional pain. Understanding that addiction is a symptom of deeper emotional struggles can help individuals address the root causes of their addictive behaviors and work towards healing and recovery.

  • How do childhood experiences influence behavior patterns?

    Childhood experiences play a significant role in shaping one's self-esteem and behavior patterns. The Summary discusses how early experiences can impact self-perception and emotional development, leading individuals to seek external sources of validation or coping mechanisms. By recognizing the influence of childhood experiences, individuals can gain insight into their behavior patterns and work towards healing past wounds to improve their self-esteem and overall well-being.

  • Why is setting boundaries important in relationships?

    Setting boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and fostering self-respect. The Summary emphasizes the importance of learning to receive, set boundaries, and have self-respect to avoid emotional depletion. By establishing clear boundaries, individuals can protect their emotional well-being, communicate their needs effectively, and cultivate relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

  • How can individuals foster self-compassion in recovery?

    Fostering self-compassion is essential in the recovery process from addiction and self-harming behaviors. The Summary highlights the importance of treating addiction by addressing underlying emotional issues and practicing self-care. By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can learn to be kind to themselves, forgive past mistakes, and build a positive relationship with themselves. This self-acceptance and self-compassion are crucial steps towards recovery and living a fulfilling life.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

"Self-esteem key in addiction prevention"

  • The speaker is an addictions therapist, a recovering addict, a parent, and works in the field of recovery and addiction.
  • Emphasizes the importance of self-esteem as a preventative measure against addiction and mental health issues.
  • Addiction is not about the substance but about using external sources to fix internal emotional issues.
  • People often delegate their emotional processes to external substances or behaviors, leading to negative consequences.
  • Discusses the defensive nature of individuals when confronted with their vulnerabilities or addictions.
  • Describes how childhood experiences can shape one's self-esteem and behavior patterns.
  • Talks about the role of children in families with high-needs individuals and how it impacts their self-perception.
  • Explains how individuals who lack self-respect may attract high-maintenance partners and become compulsive caretakers.
  • Highlights the importance of learning to receive, set boundaries, and have self-respect to avoid running on empty emotionally.
  • Discusses the dynamics of parent-child relationships and the significance of setting boundaries and holding firm to them.

12:25

"Embracing Vulnerability: Steps to Recovery and Acceptance"

  • The speaker shares personal experiences of feeling difficult and unworthy, leading to a fear of rejection and a tendency to avoid vulnerability by adopting various behaviors.
  • Overcoming self-centered fear and negative self-perception is crucial to being available for genuine connections and living fully.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of treating addiction by addressing self-harming behaviors and fostering self-compassion and self-care.
  • Utilizing the 12-step program, practicing gratitude, and building a positive relationship with oneself are highlighted as essential steps towards recovery and self-acceptance.
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