Dr. Marc Brackett: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Andrew Huberman・2 minutes read

The Huberman Lab podcast explores science tools for everyday life with psychology expert Dr. Mark Brackett focusing on understanding and regulating emotions. Emotions are crucial for life, requiring management skills for quality living.

Insights

  • Emotions are crucial throughout life, requiring us to learn how to manage them for a better quality of life.
  • Emotional intelligence encompasses both self-awareness and understanding others' emotions, emphasizing intra and interpersonal skills.
  • Labeling emotions is crucial for effective communication and understanding.
  • Avoiding arguments over text is a rule in various relationships to maintain emotional connection.
  • Understanding emotions is crucial in addressing bullying, which involves power imbalances and intent to harm.

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Recent questions

  • What is emotional intelligence?

    The concept of emotional intelligence involves recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions, both for oneself and others. It encompasses self-awareness, understanding others' emotions, and developing language skills to describe emotions effectively. Emotional intelligence tests now use innovative methods like video clips to assess skills accurately, emphasizing the importance of cognitive and somatic awareness in managing emotions.

  • How can emotions be effectively regulated?

    Emotions can be effectively regulated through techniques like reappraisal, which involves reframing situations and asking questions to oneself. Suppressing emotions tends to amplify them, while permission to feel is essential for emotional well-being. Active listening, asking questions, and showing compassion are crucial in providing effective support to regulate emotions positively. Understanding the differences between emotions like anger and disappointment is vital for responding appropriately to emotional situations.

  • What is the impact of envy on individuals?

    Envy can lead to feelings of inadequacy and discontent, affecting both small and large-scale situations. While envy can be a natural emotion, it can turn pathological when it leads to resentment and hatred towards others. Differentiating between admiration and envy is essential to understand the impact of these emotions, highlighting the importance of emotional intelligence in managing and addressing envy effectively.

  • How can individuals gain a wider perspective to manage stress?

    Changing spatial perspective can offer a different temporal perspective, allowing individuals to view life in larger pieces. Techniques like meditation, focusing internally and externally, can help in gaining a wider perspective to manage stress effectively. Employing distancing techniques, such as viewing a stressful situation as a movie or TV show, can be powerful in handling emotional encounters and regulating emotions positively.

  • Why is emotional awareness crucial in addressing bullying?

    Emotional awareness is crucial in addressing bullying as it involves power imbalances and the intent to harm, leading to feelings of fear, shame, and diminished self-worth. Research indicates that bullying has not decreased over the past few decades, emphasizing the need for intervention and creating a supportive environment to combat bullying effectively. Teaching essential skills like empathy and perspective-taking through role plays can help individuals understand the impact of bullying, promoting healthy relationships and emotional regulation.

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Summary

00:00

"Emotional Intelligence: Science-Based Tools for Life"

  • The Huberman Lab podcast discusses science and science-based tools for everyday life, hosted by Andrew Huberman, a professor at Stanford School of Medicine.
  • Dr. Mark Brackett, a psychology professor at Yale University and expert on emotions, is the guest, focusing on understanding and regulating emotions.
  • Emotions are crucial throughout life, requiring us to learn how to manage them for a better quality of life.
  • Dr. Brackett provides a structured roadmap for understanding and engaging with emotions, including regulating them and interpreting others' emotional expressions.
  • The discussion delves into practical applications of scientific data for conflict resolution, emotional management, bullying, and increasing emotional intelligence.
  • Emotional intelligence involves recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions, both for oneself and others.
  • Emotional intelligence tests now use innovative methods like video clips to assess skills accurately.
  • Emotional intelligence encompasses both self-awareness and understanding others' emotions, emphasizing intra and interpersonal skills.
  • Emotional intelligence involves a combination of cognitive and somatic awareness, with a focus on developing language skills to describe emotions effectively.
  • The importance of language in describing emotions is highlighted, with the significance of having a diverse vocabulary to accurately express different emotional states.

14:53

"Emotion Labeling Enhances Communication and Understanding"

  • Labeling emotions is crucial for effective communication and understanding.
  • Teaching people different words for emotions leads to richer conversations.
  • Having a common language for emotions is essential for effective communication.
  • Anxiety is distinct from stress and fear, and understanding these differences is vital.
  • Emotion differentiation and granularity are key concepts in understanding emotions.
  • Corporate training sessions often reveal a lack of understanding of different emotions.
  • Connecting feelings to their reasons is crucial for regulating emotions effectively.
  • Emojis may oversimplify complex emotional experiences, potentially hindering emotional intelligence.
  • Understanding the differences between emotions like anger and disappointment is challenging for many.
  • Differentiating between legitimate disappointment and perceived injustice is crucial in responding appropriately to emotional situations.

29:50

Navigating Online Behavior and Emotional Intelligence

  • Critiques with attention to detail make individuals feel cared for and foster a relationship.
  • Online behavior of scientific colleagues can be shocking, with some displaying unprofessional conduct.
  • Online interactions, especially on social media, show a reversal of expected behavior, with adults acting childishly and kids behaving like adults.
  • The lack of face-to-face connection online can lead to inappropriate behavior, even among academic professionals.
  • Negative online comments can be hurtful and instill fear, making it challenging to decipher intent behind posts.
  • Teaching individuals to communicate compassionately online can lead to better outcomes in addressing hurtful content.
  • Emotional intelligence involves understanding and responding to others' emotional needs, even in online interactions.
  • Happiness and contentment are distinct concepts, with contentment focusing on acceptance and fulfillment in the present.
  • Introversion and extroversion are on a continuum, with creative individuals often exhibiting traits of both.
  • Introverts prefer contained energy and smaller groups, while extroverts seek more stimulation and larger social settings.

44:13

"Introverts vs Extroverts: Social Dynamics Revealed"

  • Extroverts enjoy forming and engaging in relationships, while introverts prefer solitude and planning.
  • Extroverts excel in public relations and marketing roles, while introverts are better suited for accounting and planning.
  • In a party planning exercise, extroverts prioritize loud music and bonfires, while introverts focus on details like napkins and quiet music.
  • Introverts like observing interactions at parties without actively participating, while extroverts thrive on social engagement.
  • Tom Petty was an extreme introvert who avoided leaving his house, while other famous individuals actively sought fame and attention.
  • Extroverts tend to achieve success faster due to their willingness to engage with others and ask for opportunities.
  • Teachers should pay attention to introverted students who may have valuable ideas but are hesitant to speak up.
  • Cold calling on students can be intimidating, especially for introverts who prefer not to draw attention to themselves.
  • Emotional intelligence and personality traits like introversion/extroversion are separate concepts that do not necessarily correlate.
  • Text messaging can be overwhelming for introverts due to its constant stimulation, potentially impacting emotional intelligence and communication skills.

58:44

Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and Expressing Feelings

  • Personal connections like phone calls or handwritten letters are seen as more intimate than text messaging.
  • Avoiding arguments over text is a rule in various relationships to maintain emotional connection.
  • Texting allows for psychological distance, hindering face-to-face emotional processing.
  • Excessive phone use can diminish children's emotion perception skills.
  • The Energy Pleasantness Axes categorize emotions into four quadrants based on energy and pleasantness levels.
  • Recognizing one's emotional state on the Mood Meter aids in understanding and managing emotions.
  • Encouraging self-awareness and expression of emotions is crucial for emotional intelligence.
  • Suppressing emotions tends to amplify them, while reappraisal is more beneficial.
  • Permission to feel is essential for emotional well-being, often lacking in childhood experiences.
  • Individuals who provide permission to feel exhibit non-judgmental, empathic, and active characteristics.

01:13:50

"Emotional Education: Transforming Relationships Through Awareness"

  • People prefer being around non-judgmental individuals who actively listen and show care.
  • The speaker conducts surveys before public speaking engagements to present audience data.
  • A mother at a speech has an epiphany about her children's relationships.
  • The speaker explores why people resist giving others permission to feel emotions.
  • Two main barriers to giving others permission to feel are lack of time and inadequate emotional skills.
  • The speaker emphasizes the need for emotional education from preschool to adulthood.
  • The speaker shares a personal story about emotional struggles during the pandemic.
  • A story about the speaker's father realizing his jealousy and emotional illiteracy.
  • The power of emotional self-awareness is highlighted in transforming relationships.
  • The speaker discusses the increase in willingness to seek therapy for emotional issues among students.

01:28:22

Understanding envy and cultivating emotional intelligence.

  • Mindfulness is popular, but it may not address chronic envy; working on mental constructs and relationships is crucial.
  • Dr. Paul Kti, a renowned psychiatrist, highlights envy as a root of evil and despair, often overlooked due to its negative connotations.
  • Envy can lead to feelings of inadequacy and discontent, affecting both small and large-scale situations.
  • Envy can be a natural emotion but can turn pathological when it leads to resentment and hatred towards others.
  • Differentiating between admiration and envy is essential to understand the impact of these emotions.
  • Emotions like anger and anxiety are not inherently bad; regulating them through self-awareness and observation is key.
  • Empathy without emotional intelligence can lead to overzealous empathy, affecting the ability to be present for others.
  • Emotional intelligence involves regulation and framing emotions positively, such as viewing empathy as a gift rather than a burden.
  • Cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and compassionate empathy are different forms of empathy that play distinct roles in relationships.
  • Effective support involves active listening, asking questions, and showing compassion rather than trying to fix or solve problems for others.

01:43:24

"Expand perspective, manage stress, enhance learning"

  • Stress causes our mental, visual, and auditory aperture to contract, leading to a narrowed perspective.
  • Changing spatial perspective can offer a different temporal perspective, allowing us to view life in larger pieces.
  • A meditation practice involving focusing internally and externally helps in gaining a wider perspective.
  • Using spatial tools like a hot air balloon or the pale blue dot can aid in distancing oneself from stressors.
  • Techniques like reframing situations and asking questions to oneself can help in managing stress and emotions effectively.
  • Employing distancing techniques, like viewing a stressful situation as a movie or TV show, can be powerful in handling emotional encounters.
  • Different strategies, such as using a picture frame or taking a walk to gain perspective, can be utilized in real-time to regulate emotions.
  • Historical stereotypes have influenced perceptions of emotional expression, with a shift towards accepting a broader range of emotional expressions.
  • Emotions play a crucial role in learning and decision-making, with engagement and curiosity driving attention in educational settings.
  • Integrating emotions into teaching practices and understanding individual emotional dispositions can enhance engagement and learning outcomes.

01:58:10

Emotions Drive Change: Enhancing Grant Writing

  • Low energy and unpleasant emotions can actually enhance detail-oriented tasks like grant writing.
  • A study with Lady Gaga's foundation found that 77% of high school students' emotions were unpleasant, tired, bored, and stressed.
  • Presenting emotional data in a passionate and impactful manner can drive change and action.
  • The RULER school system helps students understand and manage their emotions through daily check-ins.
  • An app called "How We Feel" allows users to track their emotions on an energy vs. pleasantness scale.
  • The app helps build self-awareness by analyzing emotional data over time and in different contexts.
  • Gratitude practices can significantly improve well-being and achievement levels.
  • Understanding emotions is crucial in addressing bullying, which involves power imbalances and intent to harm.
  • Bullying can lead to feelings of fear, shame, and diminished self-worth.
  • Emotional awareness and intervention are essential in creating a supportive environment to combat bullying effectively.

02:13:03

"Empathy and Education: Addressing Bullying Effectively"

  • Research indicates that bullying has not decreased over the past 30-40 years, with about a third of middle and high school students experiencing bullying daily.
  • Existing anti-bullying programs often focus on creating rules without teaching essential skills like empathy and perspective-taking.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of teaching skills such as empathy and perspective-taking through role plays to help individuals understand the impact of bullying.
  • The speaker shares personal experiences of witnessing bullying in high school and in academic settings, highlighting the need for intervention.
  • Despite being a psychologist and having a black belt, the speaker admits feeling intimidated by a colleague's bullying behavior during a presentation.
  • The speaker confronts the colleague about their inappropriate behavior, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and addressing bullying directly.
  • Punishment is discussed as ineffective in addressing bullying, with the focus shifting towards education and setting clear boundaries.
  • The speaker recalls a school incident where a student received a suspension for a minor offense, highlighting the lack of empathy and emotional awareness in traditional disciplinary approaches.
  • The speaker advocates for proactive measures to prevent bullying by equipping individuals with emotional regulation skills and promoting healthy relationships.
  • The conversation concludes with a comparison between the speaker's advocacy work and the supportive role of their mentor, highlighting the impact of mentorship in addressing societal issues like bullying.

02:27:44

"Uncle Marvin's Influence: A Teacher's Legacy"

  • The author recounts how his childhood abuse impacted his emotional life, leading him to share a personal story about his sixth-grade teacher, Uncle Marvin, who had a profound influence on his life.
  • During a speech, a man in the audience reveals that Uncle Marvin was also his sixth-grade teacher, prompting the author to interview him and record a detailed recollection of his social studies class with Uncle Marvin.
  • The man's memories of Uncle Marvin's teaching style, expressions, and lessons highlight the impact a teacher can have on a student's life, leading the author to reflect on his own interactions with family and work.
  • The author is challenged by the man's question about being like Uncle Marvin in his own life, prompting him to strive for more empathy, compassion, and active listening in his relationships despite time constraints.
  • The author's work in teaching emotions and providing tools for emotional understanding and management is praised for its potential to benefit others, with a recommendation for his book "Permission to Feel" and acknowledgment of the positive impact of his efforts.
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