Dr. Ethan Kross: How to Control Your Inner Voice & Increase Your Resilience

Andrew Huberman16 minutes read

Andrew Huberman discusses the detrimental effects of blue and green light on sleep and melatonin, while Dr. Ethan Cross explores the inner voice's role in emotional regulation and its potential benefits for mental health, emphasizing the importance of understanding and managing one’s emotional states through various techniques. Both experts share insights on the interplay between emotions, self-talk, and sensory tools, along with practical strategies, including Dr. Cross's forthcoming book aimed at enhancing emotional management.

Insights

  • Andrew Huberman, a Stanford professor, highlights the influence of blue and green light on melatonin production and sleep, recommending red lens glasses to counteract these effects during evening activities.
  • Dr. Ethan Cross from the University of Michigan delves into the inner voice, explaining how it can impact emotional well-being and self-control, with the potential for both positive encouragement and negative discouragement.
  • Cross's research indicates that expressing negative emotions to others can intensify those feelings, suggesting that finding healthier emotional management strategies is essential for mental health.
  • Music is identified as a significant emotional regulator, yet many individuals fail to leverage its potential effectively, especially during challenging emotional times, as illustrated by Cross's personal experience uplifting his daughter’s mood with music.
  • The concept of "chatter," or repetitive negative thinking, is discussed as a common experience that can drain cognitive resources and lead to anxiety, with strategies like self-distancing and engaging in constructive self-dialogue recommended to combat it.
  • Dr. Cross emphasizes the importance of mental time travel—reflecting on past experiences or envisioning future scenarios—to enhance emotional regulation and provide perspective on current challenges, helping to alleviate anxiety.
  • The upcoming book "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You" by Dr. Cross aims to equip readers with practical tools and insights for better emotional regulation, addressing misconceptions about emotions and promoting personal agency in managing them.

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Recent questions

  • What is emotional regulation?

    Emotional regulation refers to the processes by which individuals influence their emotions, how they experience them, and how they express them. It encompasses a range of strategies that help manage emotional responses to various situations, allowing individuals to maintain emotional balance and well-being. Effective emotional regulation can involve both cognitive and behavioral techniques, such as mindfulness, expressive writing, or engaging in physical activities. These strategies can help mitigate negative emotions, enhance positive feelings, and improve overall mental health. Understanding and utilizing emotional regulation tools is crucial for navigating life's challenges and maintaining emotional stability.

  • How can I improve my mental health?

    Improving mental health involves adopting a variety of strategies that promote emotional well-being and resilience. Engaging in regular physical activity, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and maintaining a balanced diet are foundational steps. Additionally, expressive writing can be a powerful tool for processing emotions and reducing anxiety. Social connections play a vital role, so nurturing relationships and seeking support from friends or professionals can enhance mental health. Exploring sensory modalities, such as music or nature, can also provide emotional relief and perspective. Ultimately, a personalized approach that combines different techniques tailored to individual needs is essential for effective mental health management.

  • What are intrusive thoughts?

    Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts that can cause significant distress or anxiety. They often manifest as disturbing images or ideas, and while they can be alarming, they are a common human experience. These thoughts may stem from past traumas or stressors and can occur in various situations, particularly during moments of high anxiety. Understanding that intrusive thoughts are simulations created by the brain, rather than reflections of personal morality, can help alleviate feelings of guilt. Engaging in activities that require focus, such as exercise or creative pursuits, can help manage these thoughts by redirecting attention and reducing mental chatter.

  • What is the role of music in emotional health?

    Music plays a significant role in emotional health by serving as a powerful tool for emotional modulation. It can evoke a wide range of feelings, from joy to sadness, and is often used to enhance or alter mood. Research indicates that many individuals do not utilize music effectively during negative emotional states, missing opportunities for emotional upliftment. Engaging with music that resonates with one's current emotional state can deepen the experience and facilitate emotional processing. Additionally, personal anecdotes highlight how music can be used strategically to shift moods, illustrating its potential as a resource for emotional regulation and well-being.

  • How does social media affect emotions?

    Social media can have a profound impact on emotions, both positively and negatively. It allows for immediate expression of feelings, which can lead to unfiltered communication and sometimes exacerbate negative emotions. The constant consumption of content can distract from personal thoughts and feelings, leading to what is termed "cognitive chewing gum," where users engage without meaningful interaction. However, social media can also provide humor and connection, helping to shift emotions positively. Understanding the unique cultures and norms of different platforms is essential for navigating social media effectively and mitigating its potential negative effects on emotional well-being.

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Summary

00:00

Understanding the Inner Voice and Emotional Health

  • Andrew Huberman, a professor at Stanford, discusses the impact of blue and green light on melatonin and sleep, wearing red lens glasses to mitigate this effect during late recordings.
  • Dr. Ethan Cross, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, explores the concept of the inner voice, its origins, and its influence on emotional states and self-control.
  • The inner voice can be both encouraging and discouraging, affecting confidence and anxiety levels; understanding and regulating it can enhance mental and physical health.
  • Dr. Cross's research indicates that venting negative emotions to others can amplify those feelings, suggesting alternative methods for managing emotional states.
  • The inner voice serves as a tool for verbal working memory, allowing individuals to keep information active and rehearse thoughts silently before events like presentations.
  • Music is highlighted as a powerful tool for emotional modulation, with studies showing that many people do not utilize it effectively during negative emotional states.
  • Dr. Cross shares a personal story about using music to uplift his daughter’s mood before a soccer game, illustrating music's ability to shift emotional states.
  • The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding the inner voice and its potential benefits, including planning and simulating conversations in one's mind.
  • Dr. Cross's upcoming book, "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You," aims to provide further insights into emotional regulation techniques.
  • Links to Dr. Cross's laboratory work and his books are provided in the show notes, offering resources for listeners interested in exploring these concepts further.

15:03

Harnessing Sensory Tools for Emotional Healing

  • Emotions can be processed through sensory tools like music and images, which can effectively induce specific emotional states in experimental settings.
  • People often choose music that matches their emotional state, such as listening to sad music when feeling down, which deepens their emotional experience.
  • Sadness serves a functional purpose, prompting introspection and reflection on loss, and signaling to others that support may be needed through facial expressions.
  • Recognizing emotional cues in others can enhance social interactions; some individuals excel at detecting signs of distress, which can foster group cohesion.
  • Providing "invisible support" involves helping others without drawing attention to the assistance, such as doing chores or delivering food without seeking recognition.
  • Sharing best practices in team settings can help individuals improve skills without singling anyone out, promoting a supportive environment for growth.
  • Tactile sensations, like affectionate touch, can comfort individuals and release stress-reducing chemicals, enhancing emotional well-being when mutually desired.
  • Expressive writing, a method developed by James Pennebaker, involves writing for 15-20 minutes over several days to process emotions and experiences effectively.
  • This writing technique is supported by extensive research, demonstrating its effectiveness as a low-cost, side-effect-free intervention for emotional healing.
  • Utilizing sensory modalities like music and touch can be effortless ways to regulate emotions, contrasting with more effortful methods like expressive writing.

30:22

Enhancing Wellbeing Through Diverse Emotional Tools

  • Sensory shifters can be strategically used during challenging moments, such as when a child is upset or before significant events, to enhance mood and focus.
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  • Engaging in self-talk during exercise can enhance motivation; examples include cycling through different inner voices to push through challenging workouts and increase repetitions.
  • The Penny Baker effect suggests that structuring thoughts through writing can help manage negative self-talk and emotional chaos, leading to improved mental clarity.
  • Expressive writing is an underutilized tool for emotional regulation, with studies showing it effectively reduces anxiety, especially during stressful periods like the COVID-19 pandemic.
  • People typically use multiple tools daily for emotional regulation, averaging three to four different methods, highlighting the importance of a varied approach to mental health.
  • Journaling and structured thinking practices can help organize chaotic thoughts, making it easier to process emotions and decisions, similar to how physical exercise targets various muscle groups.

44:44

Navigating Decision-Making Through Clarity and Insight

  • The decision-making process was challenging, causing significant stress for those involved, leading to a protracted evaluation of pros and cons and external advice seeking.
  • A colleague suggested visualizing a typical weekday in each potential location to clarify practical daily life implications, emphasizing the importance of real-life scenarios over abstract considerations.
  • The colleague also recommended visualizing a weekend day, acknowledging the tendency to work constantly, which helped in assessing the overall lifestyle impact of each choice.
  • Engaging in speed bag training unexpectedly facilitated a breakthrough moment, illustrating how physical activity can trigger unconscious problem-solving and lead to clarity in decision-making.
  • The speaker emphasizes that there is no universal solution for decision-making; different approaches, including rational analysis and unconscious processing, can yield insights.
  • Chatter, defined as repetitive negative thinking, can drain cognitive resources, hindering problem-solving and focus, particularly during physical activities like exercise.
  • The speaker notes that chatter can be linked to various mood disorders, as it often involves looping negative thoughts that can escalate into anxiety or depression.
  • Experiencing chatter is common and does not necessarily indicate a mood disorder; it is part of the human experience that many people encounter at times.
  • Two effective strategies to combat chatter include using distancing techniques, such as referring to oneself in the third person, which helps gain perspective on personal issues.
  • Engaging in self-dialogue, akin to meditation, allows for deeper introspection and can lead to clearer insights and decisions, enhancing emotional regulation and problem-solving.

59:35

Navigating Social Media and Mental Wellbeing

  • Social media's scroll feature allows effortless consumption of content, updating based on user engagement, which can distract from personal thoughts and feelings.
  • The term "cognitive chewing gum" describes social media's ability to keep users occupied without providing meaningful engagement or mental nourishment.
  • Early Facebook prompted users with "What's on your mind?" encouraging sharing, while social media serves as a megaphone for personal thoughts, primarily for consumers rather than creators.
  • The speaker uses specific phones for social media apps like Instagram and X, limiting distractions and modifying their digital environment to enhance focus.
  • Social media can have redemptive qualities, such as providing humor through funny videos, which can help shift emotions positively at the end of the day.
  • Navigating social media effectively requires understanding its unique cultures and norms, as each platform operates like a different country with its own rules.
  • The speaker experiences "2 a.m. chatter," a common issue where negative thoughts arise at night, and employs strategies to manage this mental noise.
  • The "2 a.m. chatter strategy" involves mental time travel, asking oneself how they will feel about current worries the next day, which helps reduce anxiety.
  • Temporal distancing is a cognitive tool that broadens perspective by considering future feelings about current problems, effectively diminishing the intensity of nighttime worries.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of a "chatter Advisory Board," consisting of supportive individuals who validate feelings and help problem-solve rather than just venting emotions.

01:14:02

Perception of Time and Emotional Wellbeing

  • The perception of time can significantly alter mental states, impacting tools for managing depression and anxiety, such as journaling and meditation, which shift individuals into different time perception modes.
  • Increased autonomic arousal, like stress, leads to a narrowed focus on time, causing individuals to perceive time as moving slower, akin to experiences reported during trauma or high-stakes situations.
  • Athletes often experience a heightened awareness of time, allowing them to react swiftly, as their perception of time dynamically changes during moments of intense focus and arousal.
  • The concept of "flow" represents a state where individuals are fully immersed in an activity, experiencing time as passing effortlessly, contrasting with the fixation of negative chatter.
  • Negative chatter often leads to a narrow focus on distressing thoughts, while broadening one’s perspective through mental time travel can help alleviate anxiety and provide context for current challenges.
  • Mental time travel involves recalling past experiences or envisioning future scenarios, which can help individuals process emotions and gain perspective on present difficulties.
  • Research indicates that people spend between 50% and 33% of their waking hours not focused on the present, often leading to unhappiness and increased negative emotions.
  • While being present is beneficial, mental time travel is essential for learning from past mistakes and planning for the future, enhancing emotional regulation and idea generation.
  • Texting and social media have disrupted traditional emotional processing by allowing immediate expression of feelings, which can lead to unfiltered communication and negative societal impacts.
  • The immediacy of social media reduces the time needed to process emotions, stripping away emotional feedback that typically tempers responses, potentially leading to cyberbullying and other negative behaviors.

01:29:02

AI and Emotion Regulation in Digital Age

  • The podcast discusses the permanence of information online, emphasizing that it can be updated over time, particularly in the context of AI and web searches.
  • AI fundamentally changes web searches, providing synthesized information based on user preferences rather than directing users to specific sites.
  • AI can offer insights that are not influenced by human emotional states, potentially providing clearer guidance during stressful times, such as dealing with bankruptcy.
  • Emotion regulation research shows that individual tools for managing emotions are effective, but combinations of these tools vary widely among individuals and situations.
  • AI has the potential to identify optimal combinations of emotion regulation tools tailored to individual needs, enhancing personal emotional management strategies.
  • Imaginary friends in childhood may represent a form of internal dialogue, helping children practice self-control and reinforce messages from caregivers.
  • Adults may also experience internal dialogues, often during stressful situations, which can serve as a method of emotional regulation.
  • Negative self-talk can be functional and motivating when used appropriately, but excessive looping of negative thoughts can lead to harmful outcomes.
  • Interacting with green spaces has been shown to restore cognitive resources and elicit feelings of awe, which can help manage emotions effectively.
  • Experiencing awe in nature or through scientific achievements can provide perspective, making personal problems feel smaller and more manageable.

01:44:40

Harnessing Environment for Emotional Regulation

  • Tools for emotional regulation can be found in everyday environments, emphasizing the importance of strategic interactions with surroundings for improved well-being.
  • Attachment figures from childhood provide safety and comfort, influencing emotional regulation; places can also serve as emotional oases during distress.
  • Returning to familiar places, like childhood homes, can help individuals regain control and navigate emotional challenges effectively.
  • Structuring environments, such as keeping phones out of sight during conversations, minimizes distractions and enhances emotional management.
  • Open laptop screens in seminars distract from learning; instructors can improve focus by explaining the science behind minimizing digital distractions.
  • Social gatherings can be managed by controlling food availability; removing tempting items like pizza helps maintain fitness and emotional goals.
  • Personal experiences highlight the calming effects of nature and organized spaces, which can help regulate internal emotional states.
  • Compensatory control explains why people organize their environments when feeling overwhelmed; creating order externally can counteract internal chaos.
  • Military structure exemplifies the importance of organization; having everything in order can enhance focus and emotional stability in high-stakes situations.
  • Cultural influences shape emotional experiences and regulatory practices, highlighting the need to be aware of different environments and their effects on emotions.

02:00:10

Navigating Emotions in a Distracted World

  • The speaker reflects on the evolution of technology, comparing modern devices to childhood experiences with mini TVs, highlighting the vast number of channels and communication options available today.
  • The discussion emphasizes the challenge of maintaining attention and presence in a world filled with distractions from technology, questioning the optimal way to live amidst these changes.
  • Historical context is provided, noting that humans have always faced challenges in managing emotions, with technology evolving alongside these struggles throughout history.
  • The speaker references ancient practices like trepanation, used to relieve emotional distress by boring holes in the skull, illustrating early attempts at emotion regulation.
  • The frontal lobotomy, developed in the late 1940s, is discussed as a controversial method that was once celebrated for calming patients but often resulted in significant dysfunction.
  • Current advancements in emotion regulation tools are highlighted, including non-invasive, science-based methods that offer more effective emotional management compared to outdated surgical techniques.
  • The importance of motivation and goal-setting in emotion regulation is emphasized, suggesting that understanding personal goals is crucial for effectively utilizing available tools.
  • Behavioral tools for emotion regulation, such as long exhale breathing and meditation, are noted for their accessibility and effectiveness, with studies showing benefits from practices like 13 minutes of daily meditation.
  • The speaker encourages individuals to explore various emotion regulation tools, advocating for small, manageable changes in behavior and thought processes to improve emotional well-being.
  • The conversation concludes with a call to action for listeners to learn about and experiment with available tools for managing emotions, emphasizing the importance of personal agency in this process.

02:16:19

Understanding and Managing Intrusive Thoughts

  • Intrusive thoughts often stem from childhood or other traumas, and recognizing their origins can help individuals understand their experiences better.
  • Step one in addressing intrusive thoughts is acknowledging that they are simulations created by the brain, not reflections of reality or personal morality.
  • Research indicates that a high percentage of people experience intrusive thoughts, with many reporting dark thoughts regularly, particularly in stressful situations like exercising.
  • Dark thoughts, such as harming others or oneself, are often the brain's way of simulating worst-case scenarios to prevent actual harm.
  • Understanding that intrusive thoughts are a normal part of human cognition can alleviate feelings of guilt or moral corruption associated with them.
  • Engaging in physical or cognitive activities can help manage intrusive thoughts by providing focus and reducing mental chatter, leading to a state of flow.
  • Flow states occur when the demands of a task match an individual's resources, allowing for deep immersion and reduced awareness of intrusive thoughts.
  • Activities like ultra-running, which can exceed 100 miles, require intense focus and physical exertion, helping to channel energy and mitigate negative thoughts.
  • The physiological response to anxiety can be reframed positively, similar to how understanding intrusive thoughts can shift one's perspective on mental health.
  • Maintaining a balance of physical and mental energy is crucial, as aging can lead to decreased energy levels, impacting overall well-being and mental clarity.

02:31:00

Enhancing Cognitive Performance Through Strategic Planning

  • Cognitive velocity refers to the speed at which one processes and retains information, akin to finding a sweet spot in reading or running for optimal performance.
  • Engaging in reading at a faster pace, such as using audiobooks at 2x speed, can enhance retention but requires focused attention and vigilance.
  • Transitioning between cognitive states can be challenging; it may take 30 minutes to hours to shift from work to home life effectively.
  • Low cortisol days allow for mental reset, promoting relaxation and reducing fatigue, which can be beneficial for emotional regulation.
  • The military employs a framework for goal achievement, identifying obstacles and creating specific "if-then" plans to navigate challenges effectively.
  • The WHOOP technique helps individuals clarify goals, energize motivation, identify obstacles, and formulate actionable plans to achieve desired outcomes.
  • WHOOP stands for Wish (goal), Outcome (desired result), Obstacles (internal challenges), and Plan (specific strategies to overcome obstacles).
  • Attention deployment is crucial; while multitasking is difficult, individuals can strategically focus on multiple stimuli, though emotional episodes can hinder this ability.
  • Research indicates that adaptive coping involves alternating focus between problems and distractions, rather than fixating solely on emotional challenges.
  • Developing personalized "if-then" plans for various scenarios can automate emotional regulation, making it easier to respond effectively to triggers in daily life.

02:46:20

Navigating Emotions Through Trauma and Memory

  • The speaker reflects on their grandmother's experiences during World War II, highlighting her survival and the emotional scars from losing her family in Poland.
  • The grandmother advised against dwelling on the past, using the phrase "why is a crooked letter" to emphasize the futility of such inquiries and the importance of living in the present.
  • Once a year, the family attended a Remembrance Day at a synagogue, where they shared experiences, allowing for controlled emotional exposure rather than constant focus on trauma.
  • The speaker notes the emerging literature on emotional regulation, emphasizing the importance of flexibility in attention deployment to manage emotional struggles effectively.
  • They discuss the duality of sayings like "absence makes the heart grow fonder" versus "out of sight, out of mind," illustrating the complexity of emotional experiences and truths.
  • Healthy distractions are recommended for managing negative emotions, while unhealthy avoidance, such as substance abuse or excessive escapism through fiction, should be avoided.
  • The speaker shares personal experiences with emotional processing, noting that sometimes it’s unnecessary to revisit past traumas if one has moved on and feels well-adjusted.
  • Engaging with emotional pain can facilitate habituation, allowing individuals to become accustomed to discomfort and reframe their perspectives on negative experiences.
  • Emotional contagion is discussed as a powerful phenomenon, where emotions can spread rapidly in group settings, influencing collective mood and behavior.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive emotional tone in group contexts, such as classrooms or teams, to prevent negative emotions from sabotaging performance.

03:01:38

Navigating Emotions with Humility and Wisdom

  • Engaging with emotional groups requires humility and curiosity, focusing on understanding others' perspectives rather than changing their minds, as emphasized by a conflict mediator's successful approach.
  • Wisdom involves navigating social uncertainty, characterized by humility, perspective-taking, awareness of change, and a commitment to social good, which can help bridge divides in tense situations.
  • Dr. Ethan Cross's upcoming book, "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You," releases in February 2025, aiming to clarify emotions and provide tools for emotional regulation.
  • The book addresses common misconceptions about emotions and offers practical strategies to manage them effectively, helping individuals regain control over their emotional responses.
  • To learn more about Dr. Cross's work, including his previous book "Chatter," visit hubermanlab.com for resources, and subscribe to the Neural Network newsletter for free monthly insights and protocols.
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