Building a Life - Howard H. Stevenson (2013)

Harvard Business School・2 minutes read

Howard Stevenson reflects on his life experiences, exploring the dynamic nature of success and cautioning against blindly following common advice. He emphasizes the importance of balancing achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy, underscoring the need to set limits, reflect on personal values, and prepare for the future.

Insights

  • Success is a multifaceted and evolving concept, influenced by personal backgrounds and emotional drivers, with different dimensions like achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy, each carrying unique implications and challenges.
  • Balancing various aspects of life, such as achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy, is essential for a fulfilling existence, requiring attention to personal strengths, setting limits through the concept of "enough," and maintaining relationships while reflecting on core values to align actions with beliefs.

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Recent questions

  • What does Howard Stevenson discuss?

    His experiences of failure, success, and challenges.

  • What are the different types of success?

    Achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy.

  • How does Howard Stevenson view success?

    As a dynamic state influenced by personal attributes.

  • What advice does Howard Stevenson give?

    Caution against blindly following passion and perfection.

  • How does Howard Stevenson define achievement?

    Through personal and external goals influenced by emotions.

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Summary

00:00

Navigating Success: Lessons from Howard Stevenson

  • Howard Stevenson shares his experiences of failure and success, including surviving a near-death experience and being on the Forbes list multiple times.
  • He discusses the challenge of successful parents having successful children and his quest to understand this phenomenon with Laura Nash.
  • Stevenson delves into the concept of success, highlighting its subjective nature and the various factors that contribute to it.
  • He introduces a book he co-authored, "Howard's Gift," which imparts wisdom and lessons learned from his life experiences.
  • Success is explored as a dynamic state, with no fixed definition, influenced by personal backgrounds and unique attributes.
  • Stevenson reflects on the instability of success, citing personal experiences like becoming a single parent and adapting to unexpected life changes.
  • The narrative shifts to the expectations and pressures associated with success, including societal norms and personal sacrifices.
  • He critiques common advice on success, cautioning against blindly following passion and striving for perfection.
  • The discussion extends to different types of success, emphasizing the importance of making a positive impact and finding contentment.
  • Stevenson concludes by highlighting the diverse aspects of success, including achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy, each with its own distinct characteristics and implications.

15:17

"Balancing Achievement, Significance, and Happiness for Success"

  • Achievement can lead to feelings of inadequacy when comparing oneself to others, like Bill Gates, causing misery and unrealistic expectations.
  • Significance involves choosing who to help, as exemplified by Bill Gates deciding where to allocate his resources.
  • Achievement can be viewed through a time dimension, impacting the past, present, or future, and can be focused on personal or external goals.
  • Emotional drivers like mastery, recognition, pride, envy, greed, and fear can influence achievement, with positive and negative impacts.
  • Context plays a role in achievement, with the need to anticipate future trends, akin to Wayne Gretzky's skating to where the puck will be.
  • Various emotions and values, such as contentment, fulfillment, envy, greed, fairness, generosity, and caring, can impact achievement and legacy.
  • Sequential success, moving from achievement to significance to happiness and legacy, may not always work due to the challenge of determining when one has achieved enough.
  • Balancing different aspects of life, like achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy, is crucial, as focusing on one may hinder the pursuit of others.
  • Juggling various life aspects is akin to balancing balls, requiring attention to all areas to prevent dropping any, with the falling ball being the most critical.
  • Building relationships, understanding personal sources of happiness, and recognizing the importance of shared experiences are vital components of achieving a balanced life.

30:42

Prioritizing Happiness and Legacy in Life Stages

  • Happiness is crucial and should not be postponed, with early career focusing on achievement and mid-career on settling into what makes one happy.
  • Legacy becomes significant later in life, prompting reflection on life choices and priorities, especially after experiencing wake-up calls like the death of friends.
  • In the golden years, maintaining relationships becomes a priority, requiring effort even with the convenience of modern communication methods.
  • Acknowledging personal limitations and focusing on strengths is essential, as one cannot excel in all areas, leading to a realization of what truly matters.
  • Understanding the concept of "enough" is vital, setting boundaries in various aspects of life like achievement, significance, and happiness to prevent the pursuit of endless desires.
  • Keeping track of achievements and goals, including charitable contributions, helps in maintaining a sense of satisfaction and progress.
  • Creating daily lists of achievable tasks aids in productivity and satisfaction, with a balance between challenging and easy tasks being crucial.
  • Setting limits through the concept of "enough" allows for transitions, motivating progress while also rewarding achievements.
  • Reflecting on personal values and drivers, whether positive or negative, is essential in aligning one's actions and goals with their core beliefs.
  • Professional success involves a focus on innovation and results, as well as developing people and serving customers, rather than solely maximizing shareholder wealth.

46:25

Legacy, Imperfection, Struggles, Planning, Decisions, Alignment, Guidance

  • Reflect on what will be said about you after you pass away, focusing on what truly matters in life and what you want to be remembered for.
  • Emphasize the importance of not striving for perfection in every aspect of life, as it is unrealistic and can lead to unnecessary stress.
  • Acknowledge that everyone has struggles and pain, and understanding this can help in feeling less isolated in personal challenges.
  • Highlight the uncertainty of the future and the necessity of planning and saving for it, rather than assuming it will be taken care of by others.
  • Discuss the concept of inflection points in life, where decisions can lead to significant changes, and the importance of recognizing and acting upon them.
  • Encourage evaluating the direction one is heading in life, ensuring that efforts are aligned with personal goals and values.
  • Stress the significance of forming a personal "board of directors" for advice and guidance in different aspects of life, rather than relying on a single mentor.
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