Boys Don't Cry (Except When They Do)

Recent questions

• Why are men often discouraged from crying in public?

  Men are often discouraged from crying in public due to societal expectations surrounding masculinity. The phrase "Boys don't cry" reinforces the idea that men should be strong and stoic, only showing vulnerability in extreme situations like death or personal failure. Crying is associated with femininity in media, leading to men being ridiculed or portrayed as weak if they cry outside of the acceptable window. This pressure to suppress emotions in public is deeply ingrained in societal norms, with men often resorting to humor or denial to hide their true feelings.

• How are men's tears portrayed in media?

  Men's tears in media are often used to communicate that they do have feelings, but they must maintain plausible deniability. Male characters may deny crying or downplay their emotions when caught shedding tears, reflecting the societal belief that vulnerability is incompatible with power. Filmmakers frequently use men's tears as a shortcut to depict a descent into madness or evil, perpetuating the idea that emotional pain leads to self-destruction. Rare instances where male characters embrace vulnerability and emotional connection are celebrated, but such depictions remain exceptions rather than the norm.

• What circumstances allow men to cry in media?

  Men are allowed to cry in media in extreme situations like death, personal failure, or heightened moments of competition. Tears of joy are rare for men in media, usually reserved for post-traumatic reunions, recognition, or significant life events. However, men crying outside the acceptable window are often ridiculed or portrayed as weak, reinforcing the cultural ideal that boys don't cry except in specific circumstances. The portrayal of men's vulnerability in media reflects and reinforces societal norms around masculinity and emotional expression.

• How do men struggle to provide emotional support to others who are crying?

  Men may struggle to provide emotional support to others who are crying due to the fear of undermining their masculinity. The societal pressure for men to suppress their emotions in public makes it challenging for them to openly express empathy or comfort to someone who is crying. Men's vulnerability is rarely shared openly in media, with women often portrayed as the primary conduits for men's emotions. This struggle to provide emotional support further perpetuates the idea that crying is a private, feminine act that men should avoid displaying in public.

• Why are men's tears often depicted as a precursor to violence in media?

  Men's tears are often depicted as a precursor to violence in media, with aggression seen as a sign of strength while prolonged grief is viewed as weakness. The myth that vulnerability is incompatible with power is reinforced in Hollywood stories, leading men to believe they must suppress their emotions to be useful. Filmmakers use men's tears as a narrative device to show a descent into madness or evil, perpetuating the idea that emotional pain can lead to self-destruction. This portrayal in media reinforces societal norms around masculinity and emotional expression, shaping how men's emotions are perceived and accepted in society.