Attraction (Why You Are Attracted To The People You're Attracted To)
Teal Swan・23 minutes read
Attraction is a complex element of human behavior, involving positive and negative feelings, ranging from preference to craving, indicating personal want or need, sometimes leading to desperate behavior. Love is a conscious choice involving integrating all aspects of oneself for true compatibility, warning against assuming compatibility based solely on attraction.
Insights
- Attraction is a multifaceted force, encompassing desires ranging from preference to craving, often revealing unconscious personal needs and wants.
- Integrating suppressed aspects of oneself through attraction can lead to true compatibility and healing in relationships, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and embracing all facets of one's identity for personal growth and relational well-being.
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Recent questions
What is the difference between attraction and love?
Attraction is a pull that can range from preference to craving, indicating personal wanting or needing. Love, on the other hand, is a conscious choice involving taking someone as part of oneself.
How does attraction influence behavior in relationships?
Attraction can lead to assigning incorrect meanings and creating overlays in relationships. It can also result in desperate behavior to fulfill a perceived need, showcasing a call for personal expansion and conscious choice.
Can attraction lead to compatibility in relationships?
Attraction can initially draw individuals together based on suppressed aspects of themselves, but true compatibility and healing come from reintegrating these suppressed aspects. Physical attraction doesn't always align with emotional or mental compatibility, emphasizing the importance of conscious choices in relationships.
Why is it important to integrate all aspects of oneself in relationships?
The text stresses the significance of integrating all aspects of oneself, even suppressed ones, to achieve wholeness and healthier relationships. Incompatibility in relationships can lead to shame and discomfort, highlighting the need for a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics.
How does attraction impact personal growth and well-being?
Attraction can be a call for unification and integration of suppressed aspects of oneself, leading to personal expansion and conscious choices. It can also be a call for alignment with genuine desires, emphasizing the importance of mutual well-being and harmony in relationships.
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Summary
00:00
The Complexity of Attraction in Relationships
- Attraction is a complex element of human behavior, involving both positive and negative feelings.
- Appreciation, attraction, and love are distinct states in a relationship.
- Attraction is a pull that can range from preference to craving.
- Attraction indicates a personal wanting or needing, often unconsciously.
- Attraction can lead to desperate behavior to fulfill a perceived need.
- Attraction can be a call for personal expansion and conscious choice.
- Love is a conscious choice involving taking someone as part of oneself.
- Attraction can lead to assigning incorrect meanings and creating overlays in relationships.
- Attraction can be a call for unification and integration of suppressed aspects of oneself.
- Reintegrating suppressed aspects through attraction can lead to true compatibility and healing.
13:35
Integrating Vulnerability: Key to Healthy Relationships
- The woman in the text is depicted as having two distinct sides to her personality: one vulnerable and dependent, the other independent and self-sufficient.
- She suppresses her vulnerable side and identifies more with her independent aspect, which shapes her personality as she grows up.
- The woman's attraction is drawn to individuals who reflect her suppressed vulnerable side, leading to initial attraction but eventual rejection due to frustration.
- The text discusses the importance of integrating all aspects of oneself, even those suppressed, to achieve wholeness and healthier relationships.
- Physical attraction is explored, emphasizing that it doesn't always align with emotional or mental compatibility.
- The text highlights the tendency to idealize attraction and the importance of conscious choices in relationships.
- It warns against assuming compatibility solely based on attraction, as true compatibility requires mutual well-being and harmony.
- Incompatibility in relationships can lead to shame, feeling unloved, and discomfort, necessitating a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics.
- The text concludes by stressing the significance of conscious choices in relationships, recognizing attraction as a call for integration and alignment with genuine desires.
