Attend and Befriend: Healing the Fear Body - Tara Brach

Tara Brach・42 minutes read

Blind man receives abundant donations after publicist changes his sign, symbolizing emotional blindness hindering true life experience, with fear identified as core emotion leading to contraction of mind, body, and heart. Shifting from fight-flight to attend-befriend signifies evolution in consciousness, recognizing fear management strategies as crucial for moving forward.

Insights

  • Fear, when left unacknowledged, can lead to various negative emotional states like depression, judgment, and restlessness, contracting the mind, body, and heart, ultimately limiting one's perspective on life.
  • By recognizing and befriending fear through practices like breath awareness and offering kindness and space to physical sensations, individuals can shift from reactive fight-flight responses to attend-befriend, fostering deeper connections, understanding, and self-realization, ultimately leading to a sense of belonging and inner peace.

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Recent questions

  • What is the significance of fear in human emotions?

    Fear is identified as a core emotion that can lead to negative states like depression, judgment, and restlessness. It contracts the mind, body, and heart, limiting one's perspective on life. While fear's survival function is crucial, many fears now revolve around personal well-being and social contexts. Recognizing one's fear management strategy is essential to shifting from fight-flight responses to attend-befriend, signifying an evolution in consciousness.

  • How does fear impact one's daily life?

    Fear can overshadow actual threats, leading individuals to live in a fear-based mentality. Flight responses may involve avoiding risks and disconnecting from reality, while fight responses can manifest as attacking oneself or others out of fear. Living in fear can disconnect individuals from the present moment, each other, and the earth, hindering a sense of belonging and connection.

  • What are some strategies to manage fear effectively?

    Techniques like breath awareness and hand placement can help calm the nervous system in the face of fear. Attend-befriend fear involves courageously facing physical sensations and offering kindness and space to oneself. By acknowledging and accepting fearful thoughts and sensations, individuals can begin to befriend their fear, showing gentleness and kindness towards themselves.

  • How can individuals deepen their connection with others through fear?

    Naming and holding space for each other's emotions can help individuals realize that fear is a common experience, fostering understanding and acceptance. By openly sharing experiences and feelings, individuals can cultivate a deeper connection with others. Actively taking refuge in each other, through physical touch or verbal sharing, can dissolve feelings of separation and fear, leading to a sense of belonging and connection.

  • What is the transformative power of facing fear directly?

    Facing fear directly can lead to a profound connection with life and a sense of belonging. By offering light and warmth of awareness to fear, individuals can dissolve feelings of separation and cultivate inner peace. Encouraging a practice of patience, self-awareness, and loving-kindness towards fear can help individuals come home to their true selves, living from a place of love and freedom.

Related videos

Summary

00:00

Overcoming Fear: Evolving Consciousness and Emotional Blindness

  • A man, blind, sits with a hat for donations; a publicist changes his sign, leading to overflowing donations.
  • The story symbolizes emotional blindness, hindering one from truly experiencing life.
  • Fear is identified as the core emotion behind various negative states like depression, judgment, and restlessness.
  • Fear contracts the mind, body, and heart, leading to a limited perspective on life.
  • Shifting from fight-flight to attend-befriend signifies an evolution in consciousness.
  • Fear's survival function is crucial, but most fears now revolve around personal well-being and social contexts.
  • Habitual fear reactions often overshadow actual threats, leading to living in a fear-based mentality.
  • Fear's strength is amplified by cultural influences, genetics, and upbringing.
  • Recognizing one's fear management strategy is essential to shifting from fight-flight to attend-befriend.
  • Flight responses include deflecting, controlling, and seeking substitute gratifications like busyness or substances.

18:34

Managing Fear: Medication, Strategies, and Techniques

  • Medication can be a valid choice for many to manage fear and move forward.
  • An example is given of a poster on Prozac with images of Karl Marx and Edgar Allen Poe.
  • Flight strategy involves avoiding risks and cutting off from reality.
  • Fight strategy includes attacking oneself and others out of fear.
  • Fear leads to aggression and war, rooted in a scared psyche.
  • Fear causes destruction, like in the case of Trayvon Martin.
  • Living in fear disconnects us from belonging to the moment, each other, and the earth.
  • Fear can trigger fight/flight responses or deepen attention for healing.
  • Techniques like breath awareness and hand placement can calm the nervous system.
  • Attend and befriend fear involves courageously facing physical sensations and offering kindness and space.

38:57

Embracing Fear: A Path to Connection

  • A woman described her fear of inadequacy and insecurity while working with someone, leading to mental and physical distress.
  • She learned to acknowledge her fearful thoughts and redirect her focus to her physical sensations, like clutching and tightness in her body.
  • By naming and accepting these sensations, she began to befriend her fear, showing kindness and gentleness towards it.
  • Through intentional gentleness and acceptance, she discovered a tender space within herself, realizing that her fearful self wasn't her true identity.
  • Both individuals in the relationship practiced meditation and honesty, openly sharing their experiences and feelings, fostering a deeper connection.
  • Naming and holding space for each other's emotions helped them realize that fear is a common experience, fostering understanding and acceptance.
  • Facing and befriending the fear body is essential on the spiritual path, leading to a deeper sense of self and belonging.
  • A story illustrated the transformative power of facing fear directly, leading to a profound connection with life and a sense of belonging.
  • Actively taking refuge in each other, such as through physical touch or verbal sharing, can dissolve feelings of separation and fear.
  • A meditation teacher emphasized the process of meditation over quick fixes, highlighting the importance of patience and self-awareness in the journey towards inner peace and connection.

58:10

Embracing Fear with Loving Awareness

  • Encouragement to offer light and warmth of awareness to fear, pausing to befriend it, concluding with a loving-kindness practice to come home to one's true self and live in love, recognizing fear like a wave in the ocean that can be present but not defining, extending the same wish for all beings to face fear with presence and discover loving awareness, living from love and being free.
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